forever together., a good enough reason? Options

[31miracles]

So I've been dating this girl for 15 months now (I'd say a averaged three year relationship due to the time we spend together). I know her as well as she knows herself and vice versa. We're really different. I go to a Ivy while she works full time at a restaurant to support herself. We are at the point where we might move in together for economic and geographic reasons, and we are talking more and more about how we will grow old together.

I'm scared. Commitment. Damn. Why do people get married?

My girlfriend I think is pretty, not Megan Fox status, not a great body, but a very cute face. I'm sure I could do better for myself (a prettier girl in college, educated - a future high paying job), but I'm at the point where I am honest, because I might be spending the rest of my life with my gf. My girlfriend has the best personality and loves me more than the world. I'm in college, and this is the time where I'm supposed to explore and meet different girls. However, I'm not big for causal relationships.

I've dated a few girls, and I know no one could ever love me as much as my current gf does. No one can ever come close. No one is as nice or considerate. Seriously, this girl finds me absolutely perfect and attractive. How the hell? I'm no where near perfect. She doesn't care about anything but me. We could be living in a box, and as long as she has me, she'd be happy. She has no doubts about me, but I can not say the same for her.

Is that a valid reason to spend our lives together forever? The fact that no one else would ever love/care for me as much as this girl does.

I love my gf, but I'm still young (18). I kind of what to explore, but my gf might be the best person for me and I'm too scared to risk it. If we are going to stay together, we have to move in together. I have to make a choice now. The pressure is on.

[brooklyneast05]

you don't have to make a choice now. move in together and try it out for a while. 18 is too young to decide it. and i don't think it's a good idea to marry someone you haven't lived with on a long term basis.

[31miracles]

you don't have to make a choice now. move in together and try it out for a while. 18 is too young to decide it. and i don't think it's a good idea to marry someone you haven't lived with on a long term basis.

Yes I agree, but for us to move in together, she would come to me 300 miles away, leaving everything she knows. She doesn't need to "try it out" with me. She knows. I just feel like if she moves in with me, we will be stuck together forever.

[FizzyMilk]

do what you think is the right thing.
I'm young, I'm 17. I've been dating the same guy for three years, he's now 20.
We're talking about getting married in about 8 months and all that. I'm in college, he's in the military.......

do what feels right.
follow your gut.

and just because she moves in with you doesn't mean you'll be stuck together forever, you'll just be responsible for getting her back to her hometown. :) or wherever she wants to go?

If you're in love her then have her move in with you.

[karmakiller]

Yes I agree, but for us to move in together, she would come to me 300 miles away, leaving everything she knows. She doesn't need to "try it out" with me. She knows. I just feel like if she moves in with me, we will be stuck together forever.

well if you guys did get married then what, would she stay living where she is now? besides you did say that she would be happy living wherever as long as she had you... but honestly if you feel like you're going to be stuck with her then you at least owe it to her to not do something because you feel like you should be doing it. it will more than likely just get her hopes up. it'd be pretty pointless for her to move 300 miles away and then after you've been "stuck" with her for x amount of months you decide you can't take the pressure anymore and she's faced with either moving back or starting up again on her own in a new place when the only reason she was there was for you.

[batman]

where do you go to school?

[AimeeLynn]

Your 18. No rush.

Just don't let her go, because if you think she is the ideal girl for you then you don't want to lose her now do you?

[31miracles]

300 miles is a long way to go. You're afraid of the guilt you'll ensue upon yourself if she flys over and you end up letting her go. By the looks of it (all these setups), it seems you're preparing yourself mentally and emotionally to let her go already. The guilt is there and that means you care about how this will affect her, which is good. At least you care. You mentioned being honest with yourself. So then you should be. Don't stick with your girl because you think its the best that you can do and that she loves you. Stick with her because you love her. The question is, are you still in love with her? It's not wrong or right if you are or not. It only wrong when you end up cheating; physically, emotionally, etc.

We don't simply love people because they are the best we could do. Or at least the idea is that we shouldn't.

I've been here before. The doubt is stronger than your certainty. Let her go. I'm sorry.

Everything you said made great sense. Thanks for the input.

I do love my girlfriend. It's just that I think there is other people I can feel the same about once I got to know them, but they would not love me as much as my gf does. And would it be wrong for me to stay with my gf for that reason?

Honestly, I might just be trying too hard to find a reason to settle down. Maybe there is no reason. I think I'm trying to talk myself into feeling everything is perfect, and I don't need to act to change anything. I just don't know what to do. I know I'm being slightly selfish, but if I were to break up with my gf, I could never do it or forgive myself. She has been perfect to me.

where do you go to school?

I go to UChicago (not an Ivy, I lied, close enough) for economics, and I'm going to transfer to CMU.

[queen]

you don't really sound like you want to be with her as much as she wants to be with you. in fact, you sound antsy. break it off with her 'cause she's gonna realize this sooner or later.

[deteam]

take a risk . . . i was with my ex girl for 7 years, we talked about marriage, kids names, everything 4 our future . . and because of that i missed out on 2 years of dating in college . . . now we never talk and im stuck here wishin i had those first 2 years back to date and meet new people. . .


dont bound yourself to her unless your completely positive shes the one...

and even if you are positive theres always a chance it wont work in the end

it happened to me

Stay Up
-1-
Subliminal

[batman]

I go to UChicago (not an Ivy, I lied, close enough) for economics, and I'm going to transfer to CMU.

um. okay... if it's not an ivy, don't call it an ivy. it's super lame and pretentious to use "i go to an ivy league" as a way to set yourself above someone else when you DO go to an ivy and it's just stupid when you don't.

about your relationship problems... why is it so urgent that you guys make the choice to stick 2gether4ever or break up now? as you said, you're only 18. if you feel like you'd be "stuck together" if she moves in with you now, it's probably not a good idea.

plus

you don't really sound like you want to be with her as much as she wants to be with you. in fact, you sound antsy. break it off with her 'cause she's gonna realize this sooner or later.

and whatever JC says :D

[heyo-captain-jac...]

So I've been dating this girl for 15 months now (I'd say a averaged three year relationship due to the time we spend together). I know her as well as she knows herself and vice versa. We're really different. I go to a Ivy while she works full time at a restaurant to support herself. We are at the point where we might move in together for economic and geographic reasons, and we are talking more and more about how we will grow old together.

I'm scared. Commitment. Damn. Why do people get married?

My girlfriend I think is pretty, not Megan Fox status, not a great body, but a very cute face. I'm sure I could do better for myself (a prettier girl in college, educated - a future high paying job), but I'm at the point where I am honest, because I might be spending the rest of my life with my gf. My girlfriend has the best personality and loves me more than the world. I'm in college, and this is the time where I'm supposed to explore and meet different girls. However, I'm not big for causal relationships.

I've dated a few girls, and I know no one could ever love me as much as my current gf does. No one can ever come close. No one is as nice or considerate. Seriously, this girl finds me absolutely perfect and attractive. How the hell? I'm no where near perfect. She doesn't care about anything but me. We could be living in a box, and as[color="#0000FF"] long as she has me, she'd be happy. She has no doubts about me, but I can not say the same for her.

Is that a valid reason to spend our lives together forever? The fact that no one else would ever love/care for me as much as this girl does.

I love my gf, but I'm still young (18). I kind of what to explore, but my gf might be the best person for me and I'm too scared to risk it. If we are going to stay together, we have to move in together. I have to make a choice now. The pressure is on.

q

[31miracles]

um. okay... if it's not an ivy, don't call it an ivy. it's super lame and pretentious to use "i go to an ivy league" as a way to set yourself above someone else when you DO go to an ivy and it's just stupid when you don't.

Jezzzz, I'm sorry. My butt's on fire, stop burning me. I just said Ivy, because people know what that is. Not many people know what UChicago is and think "wtf, community college"? I was just trying to show that I'm focused on getting a good education, and she could care less about Calculus, and in that sense, I am trying to set myself above. And just for your information, UChicago is not a community college; it rapes many Ivies and every Ivy in the ass for econ.

about your relationship problems... why is it so urgent that you guys make the choice to stick 2gether4ever or break up now? as you said, you're only 18. if you feel like you'd be "stuck together" if she moves in with you now, it's probably not a good idea.

Well, I feel like we have to move out, because she lives with her parents and her parents had to sell their house. Basically she needs to find an apartment or become semi-homelss. And as her bf, it would only make sense that if she has to move out, taht we live together and save money.

[batman]

Jezzzz, I'm sorry. My butt's on fire, stop burning me. I just said Ivy, because people know what that is. Not many people know what UChicago is and think "wtf, community college"? I was just trying to show that I'm focused on getting a good education, and she could care less about Calculus, and in that sense, I am trying to set myself above. And just for your information, UChicago is not a community college; it rapes many Ivies and every Ivy in the ass for econ.

... right.

plus thanks for informing me, but most people know that uchicago is not a community college. and as an actual ivy leaguer myself ... psh@you. you could have just as easily said "i go to a prestigious university" and not lied about it.

not a big deal, though. i was just asking in the first place bc i was curious.