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 Jan 21 2005, 01:24 AM
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#1
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer*  Group: Official Member Posts: 1,216 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134  |
slowly i start to fade away
being unoticed , uncared for it hurts inside the pain is unbearable, the feeling uncurable when your emotions and your life start to collide i ask myself over and over why i became like this lonesome and hurt it scars within my heart torn from inside me it breaks me apart taken the blame for all the sh*t you put me through puttin my name in shame after all i did for you lost my sense of life, lost my sense of pride the person you once knew had already died you took me for granted, you used me as bait i was your guinea pig locked in your crate prisoned by your selfish greed locked up by all your selfish needs i look in the mirror hating what i see a fool believing this is really me.. kinda awkward eh..? |
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Jan 21 2005, 04:29 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
not akward at all! I really like this because it's one of those I can relate to. It seems like it should be a song or something.
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| *stephinika* |
Jan 21 2005, 08:17 PM
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#3
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i love it. sounds great - good word choice. flows nicely too.
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Jan 22 2005, 05:41 AM
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#4
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 High Voltage!∞ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,728 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,157 |
i love it's really good! keep it up
 
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Jan 22 2005, 04:14 PM
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#5
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
I thought it was amazing..not ackward. You captured some feelings in this poem that many ppl can't. I liked the first verse :
QUOTE slowly i start to fade away being unoticed , uncared for it hurts inside the pain is unbearable, the feeling uncurable when your emotions and your life start to collide I can def see this as a song too.. great job! |
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Jan 23 2005, 04:07 PM
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#6
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,216 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
heheh thnx alot for awhile i quitted writing and stopped the poems and the flow..this actually was my first poem in 4 months to me it looked awkward but im glad to see that many of yall appreciate this thnx =]
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