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Auntie
Ekay
post Aug 27 2009, 03:42 PM
Post #1


Eternal Syn
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Why is it that tragedies always make me write? Why is it that these sad thoughts move my hands? Is it perpetuated by the pain and anger of loss? Maybe these questions will go unanswered until I grow older and wiser. These are the tearful words of those witnessing death so close yet so far; right in front of them yet too distant to understand. These are the remorseful words that aren’t meant to be said aloud. Life and death is so difficult to perceive, but I pray to a God that I don’t understand! Questions suddenly start flooding my mind. Am I even worthy for this prayer? Can I pray correctly? Will it even be heard? Will I be disappointed by the unanswered prayer? And if it goes unanswered will I shed tears for a death that is too soon in its coming? I already know the answer as I write this as tears are already falling from these eyes of mine. The tears ran so smoothly down my face dripping from my chin onto my shirt that absorbed it all; ending its short journey. And in that short time I realized that these drops would gradually meet an inevitable end; much like the woman who lay in the hospital bed before me; yet knowing does not ease the pain in my chest or the heat in my eyes. So who is this woman to me? To me she is the epitome of strength. She is the courage behind my actions. She is the push that made me realize that writing is my passion. She is the woman who smiled through her pain as she saw her nephew who could only see her physically and not spiritually. She was my caretaker, my friend, and most recently, my mentor. She is a daughter, a sister, and as of late, a wife. She is important, not only to me, but to her mother, her siblings, and her lover. She is all this and more. As I sit by her beside her bed, I begin to wonder: if life is so complicated then why must it be mired by the philosophy of death?
 

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