Note: This is a work of fiction.
And So It Happened.
It was the silence that woke her up. Or maybe it was the soft chorus of voices coming from the hallway of the dorms or the soft vibrating pounds of the music next door or the fly buzzing its way around the room, refusing to shut up. But the plethora of noises droned on in the outside world and inside, it was completely silent. Frighteningly silent.
She blinked, squinting at the blackness in front of her, trying to remember where she was. Slowly, she comprehended that the surface she was lying on was a bed and the heavy weight on her waist was an arm. She realized that the thing tickling the back of her neck was the steady breathing of … a male.
Oh god.
"Oh god," she whispered to herself as the events leading up to her current situation bombarded her mind.
Her first college party - her first party. He was an acquaintance, slowly becoming a friend. He'd approached her and smiled, she laughed and chatted back. They'd flirted and the entire time, she felt a bubbly warmth fluttering in her stomach. In high school, her parents had kept her under a tight leash and never had a guy hit on her in the middle of a hazy, alcohol ridden, hookah-smelling room. She was so excited.
When he put his arms around her, she had giggled softly, shifting ever so slightly to get used to the weight. She wanted to be daring and leaned into him, something that made him hold her tighter. She decided she liked it.
When he kissed her, she nearly fainted. It wasn't her first kiss, but it was the first one that counted. The first one she could remember in years. The first one that wasn't a dare, anyways. The feeling of his warm lips on hers was awkward at first, especially since she wasn't sure what to do, exactly. Her first kiss hadn't really involve anything but a quick swipe of lips and shy blushes moments later.
Somehow, he had realized how inexperienced she was and took it upon himself to be her teacher. And what a great teacher he was, feeling her up against the pool table, leaning her over it until a few guys laughed and told them to get a room. Which he did.
He had asked her if she was sure and at first, she was too embarrassed to say yes. But then, she wondered if she would ever have a chance like this again. So her mouth opened to tell him she was ready, but before the words spilled out, she lost her nerves again. Nobody had ever seen her naked. What if she was ugly? Suddenly she wished she had prepared for this moment. Waxed her armpits and shaved her legs. She felt disgustingly plain.
What if her breasts weren't the right size? What if they pointed in a funny way? What if he found her gross?
But it turned out that the long moment she took thinking about all of this had somehow become a "yes" in his mind and he was now lying her down on his bed.
She closed her eyes when he took her shirt off, unhooked her bra, slid her jeans down her legs and taking her panties along with them.
Close the lights? She asked, but he just laughed and told her she was gorgeous.
The rest after that was a blur. She remembered that it was uncomfortable. It almost hurt, but mostly, it was just uncomfortable. An intrusion. He had eased his way in and she had wrinkled her forehead and wiggled her hips, trying to make it more bearable. He hissed when she moved and she stopped.
He had kept thrusting into her and when she finally got used to the motions, she began to enjoy it. Just a little. It all ended quickly, though. Too quickly. He had worked up a sweat and she was a little bit sore, but altogether, she felt… disappointed. It wasn't all she had built it up to be.
He was a gentleman and held her as she breathed in and out as deeply as she could. He had walked over and shut the lights, then pulled up the covers over both of them as he held her to his chest.
Lying next to him was nice. It made her feel safe, protected, and before she knew it, they both drifted off to sleep.
Perhaps this was the most awkward part of it all. Waking up an hour or so later and wondering what to do.
A part of her wanted to run. Another part wanted to stay and see what would happen the next morning when he woke up. But another part was just so excited that she had finally gotten rid of the burden that was virginity and she wanted to call her best high school friend to share the news.
She inched her way out of his grasp and rolled off the bed, crashing noiselessly onto the hard floor. Shit, shit, shit, she winced, squeezing her eyes shut. As if her body wasn't sore enough, she just had to go abuse it some more.
From above her on the bed, he made a small grunting sound and shifted, causing the bed to squeak. But he didn't wake up.
She looked around and spotted a towel hanging by his door, sprinted to it and wrapped it around her body. Then she dug around her jeans for a cell phone.
When she found it, she opened the door and slipped out into the hallway. There were a few bodies passed out on the floor and the people who walked by her stared and smiled knowingly.
She crouched down to the floor and dialed a number she knew well.
"Hello?" a groggy voice answered after two rings.
She giggled. "I did it," she said.
"Did what?"
"You know. It."
"How can I possibly - oh. It?"
"Yeah."
"Really??"
"Uh-huh."
There was an awkward silence.
"Holy shit," her friend swore.
She giggled again. "Yeah, I know. It's really weird."
"What? This? Or the sex?"
"The sex. This is normal."
Her friend laughed. "Yeah, normal. So? Details? Was he hot? Was it fun? God! I can't believe you had sex before me!"
"It was… okay, I guess. But hey, I've got a problem."
"Oh god, please don't be pregnant."
"Shut up, it's not that. It's - "
"STD?"
"No!" she choked on her laughter and quickly sobered, tightening the towel around her body as two senior guys walked passed, letting their eyes linger on her form. "It's - I'm not sure what to do now."
There was a slight pause. "What do you mean?"
"You know… the after part. He's sleeping right now and I kind of crept out of the room and …"
"Oh my god! Don't tell me. You're acting like one of those girls who disappear the next morning? Guys hate that! I read it in Cosmo. It's a huge blow on their ego. What are you thinking?"
"That's exactly it! I don't know what to do! What if - "
"Listen, you. Just grow up and get over your little insecurities. Get back into that room and back into that bed and back into that gorgeous boy's arms."
"Well, he's not that gorg-"
"Just get back! Call me tomorrow. Preferably some time after noon and before midnight."
Dial tone.
Shit, she thought to herself as she snapped her cell phone shut. After a moment's contemplation, she got back to her feet and tiptoed back into his dorm room. He was exactly where she left him.
Here goes nothing.
She hung the towel back on the hook nailed into his door and stuffed the cell phone back into the jeans that were tossed aside a few hours back. Then she crawled back under the covers.
His body immediately turned towards hers and he mumbled something incoherent as she laid her head down on his shoulder.
It took her a long time to fall asleep, but when she did, there was a small smile on her face.
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It was the birds that woke her up. Or maybe it was the sunlight streaming through the high window or the sounds of the toilets flushing and the water running from the communal bathroom across the hall or … maybe it was the burning feeling on her face that somebody was watching her. Her eyes fluttered open and the first thing she saw was his own eyes fixed on her face.
"Hey," he smiled.
"Hey," she smiled back.
And it was good.
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Author's Note: Okay, so that's a bit different. It was just a burst of inspiration. She's an awkward, innocent girl - but not so idealistically innocent that she pushes everybody away. She has the insecurities that everybody should have during their first time before and after. I don't know. It's basically… a scene from somebody's life. There's really no beginning and end. It's just a segment in time.
btw, if it's familiar to something you've read on fictionpress, effection = me, so no stealing here :)
