i didnt see any of these, so i thought id put them up

1. how can you drown a blonde: stick a scratch & sniff sticker to the bottom of a pool (not too funny, its old)

2. one day a man decided to hire a blonde to paint his porch. the man decided to fool the blonde, and offered only $25 for the job. she took the money, and went to paint his porch, (brown). 2 hours later, she finished, and went up to the man, and said, "i'm all done, but just to let you know, thats a ferrari, not a porsche"(sp?)

3. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

4. A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror,the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."

5. A blonde girl has just gotten fired. Her boss has always called her a dumb blonde.
She is driving down the road when she sees a blonde girl in the middle of a wheat field rowing a canoe.
She pulls over, gets on the roof of her truck,and says,"IT'S BLONDES LIKE YOU WHO GIVE BLONDES LIKE US A BAD NAME! BUT IF I WAS'NT SCARED OF WATER I'D COME OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!"

6. One day a Blonde walked into the doctors office with 2 red ears. The doctor asked what happened. She said "I was ironing and the phone rang and I picked up the iron by mistake. "What happened to the other ear?" the doctor asked. "They called back."

7. Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a shit."
The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and shit."
The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass." The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"
The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"
He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes.
His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"
The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"

8. Ten Blonde Inventions
1) The water-proof towel
2) Solar powered flashlight
3) Submarine screen door
4) A book on how to read
5) Inflatable dart board
6) A dictionary index
7) Ejector seat in a helicopter
8) Powdered water
9) Pedal-powered wheel chair
10) Water-proof tea bag

9. A blonde is sitting on a park bench and she is crying a man walks up to her and asked whats wrong. She said terrible news, he said what. My mother died but that's not the worst news. He ask what is the worst news and she said I call my sister and she said her mother died too.

10. A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."




sorry if you've heard these.

8 and 7 cracked me up the most.. lol

my favorites are 9,7,3, and 2.

lool.. 7+9 crack me up !!

my favourite one is 8. its so funny

7+8=funny! I have heard of some of those too.