Hey guys. I've seen lots of topics about going out, etc etc, so.. here is some advice for you boys out there. feel free to add stuff to it!

the stupidest thing i've ever heard of in my life is this....:

me: hey, i heard you and blah are going out.
him: yeah, we are!
me: since when?
him: i asked her out on saturday.
me: ooh, where are you guys gonna go?
him: uhm.... i dunno...

OR

me: hey, happy monthsary to u and blah!
her: oh, thanks!
me: sooo..when and where was the first date?
her: oh, we went out with some friends the saturday after he asked me out.
me: no, i mean like real date, just you two.
her: oh, we havent really gone out yet...

me: wtf? how can you consider yourselves boyfriend girlfriend if you havent been to a real date together?!

how to ask a girl out:
1. Be friends with her first.
2. Smile at her.
3. Buy her small things, like sodas or cafeteria food.
4. Ask her out.
4a. If she says no, deal with it but still be friends with her.
4b. If she says yes, ask her when she's available.
4c. IMPORTANT. Set a date, time, place. Casually ask for her number.

Scenarios:
"Wah! Her parents are strict and wont let her out of the house!"
- Well, ask her if she needs any help on homework and take her to the library. If you're a good enough guy, you can wait for her parents' trust. -

"Wah! I'm broke and have no money for dates!"
- Save up. While doing so, explain to her that you dont have a never ending supply of money, and she'll have to pay for herself. (Say this nicely of course.)

"Wah! Her friends wont leave us alone!"
- Let them come with you for a few times, but DO NOT let them overtake your dating life. it's your own, not theirs.

OTHER MISC PIECES OF ADVICE
1. DO NOT GET TOO OVERPROTECTIVE. Chances are, she has some if not many guy friends.
2. Be extra nice to her even if it's obvious she's under major PMS.
3. When she's quieter than usual, it means she's thinking about something. Ask her what's wrong. But don't ask her too many times because she'll think you're crowding her.
4. DO NOT tell her you love her after the 2nd week. That is a turn off.
5. DO NOT try to put your hands up her shirt in the movie theatre either. You'll most likely get a slap.
6. Hug her when you see her walking down the hall.
7. If she looks sad, pluck a flower from someone's garden and give it to her while walking her home.

edit
8. guys should be a bit more creative than taking girls out for movies and dinner. it's so, normal, so blah. be a little more creative about dates. do something interesting.
9. Still, you would think that this is common sense but chivalry and being a perfect gentlemen seems a lost art. You'd be surprised at how many girls are surprised at such polite behavior. What I can say is that this polite behavior has me in a long and fulfilling relationship.
10.if a guy can make you laugh but still know when to be serious. also give her attention, if there are other girls around talk to her or sit near her, but not in a stalking weird way.. just casual.

Joke around with her, be funny. The point is to act too confortable with her.
Act like you knew her for 20 years, how would you act towards someone you knew your whole life? You be funny.
1.DON'T TRY(be natural, insecurity is a turn off)
2. Make her feel confortable(Comedy is the best way)

[[
1 Let her get to know you. How can she open up to a complete stranger
2 This applies vice versa. You dont wanna say something that'll upset her.
^i think what reanimateddroid means by this is, if you barely know her, dont give her very in depth explanations about the deepest cavern of your soul. that would freak her out.
]]


If you're going to ask someone out on a date, try to either get to know them and what they're interested in from themselves or their friends. it won't really be a fun date if you decide to take a girl to the history museum and realize that she completely hates history or something like that. be creative, find out where you two have the same interests and plan something from that point.
-Yanners.

-----------

12/30/05

Date suggestions:
Well, the possiblities are endless. You gotta learn to be creative. Dinner and a movie is a bit bland sometimes.
- Rollerskating is always fun. Bowling would be a nice way to introduce your guy/gal to your friends, kind of a group thing, stuff like that. >-Paulina

Very Nice....Somebody Sticky This......I should carry this and take it with me...lol..

god damn. this sounds exactly like ME x[

i guess i can pin this for a little bit.

TOPIC PINNED

haha. awesome. pinned.

Oooh, I see a love expert. I'll keep it in mind.

so truee.. 'cept why not say i luv you in the 2nd week.. ?

er. well. don't you think it would be nice if you waited until the right time? surely 2 weeks is not the right time. even if you knew that person for a LONG time and loved him/her already, that doesnt mean that you have to say you love him/her after 2 weeks into the relationship.

that is immature.

ps. the spelling of "luv" is "LOVE", dear, if you're really serious. luv is a horrible way of spelling it.

him: hey, whats up.
her: omgsherz i luv yew!!

doesnt that sound so... i dont know..immature?

Yeah. I agree. dee newbz typin remndz meh of baybies

Oh, wow. I wish every guy has read this. I hate how guys are all "I love you, blah blah" in their profiles when they end up breaking up after like a week.

And I'm guessing that when people say "will you go out with me?" it usually means "do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?" I don't think it really means dinner and a movie.

oh also, and guys should be a bit more creative than taking girls out for movies and dinner. it's so, normal, so blah. be a little more creative about dates. do something interesting.

yeah i completely agree. take her to a walk down a park, feed ducks... its romantic.

so that means my boyfriend of 9 months and a handful of days is immature and doesn't love me?

he likes to shorthand stuff online, he doesn't typ lyk dis 2 b "cool" don't stereotype people

nice job on this!

btw, whats with the "wah!"'s?

still i stay the same... good job!

it ticks me off when people my age go out with someone (or even just accept the invitation.. i wasn't sure how to word that) and then this "I LOVE YOU ________" magically appears instantly in their profiles.

it's a strong word, and a dangerous one as well.

oops, i forgot a comma.

it bothers me too but it bothers me way more when someone considers someone as their boyfriend/girlfriend after they go out on one date. when it's not even official or anything. i read this one thing and this girl considered a guy her boyfriend when he gave her his number they just met, it's all so stupid.

alright, sorry i offended you with my earlier post but it bothers me when people spell it like that. peace. haha. =P

yeah i know... someone who went to some slutty dance downtown, some guy slipped his number down her pocket and she calls me later on.. "hey robbi, i got a boyfriend at the dance!" wtf? he probably doesnt remember who you are.

and snowslasher, hehe, the wah's are to give the impression of whining. and thanks. =D

I commend you for this thread. Still, you would think that this is common sense but chivalry and being a perfect gentlemen seems a lost art. You'd be surprised at how many girls are surprised at such polite behavior. What I can say is that this polite behavior has me in a long and fulfilling relationship.

well, i guess there should be more guys like you, don and my boyfriend.

that's one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, because of his politeness.

very good

Internet relationships suck, I can tell you that. I'm NEVER going through that again. I don't see what is wrong with telling a girl how you feel about her after two weeks or whatever, especially if she catchs you thinking and asks. But if you say you love her and really don't feel that way, well then, you're a jerk. There are plenty of jerks out there, there are different kinds of jerks. Unfortunately a lot of your jerks can make it or ACT through the initiation of the relationship, and then become a jerk later. You got alcoholic jerks, abusive jerks, ignore-your-wife/girlfriend jerks, and jerks that have to have complete control over everything you do or that get pissed off when things do go their way. Mostly I'm too shy and have recently forced myself not to give a shit, it is not worth being lonely or depressed over. A few years ago I was seriously depressed over it, my life was trash and I was even more worthless than my life, and I generally wanted to be dead. Not me anymore, I've learned not to care, I just don't pay much attention. I've been doing pretty good until Spring fever set in just a few weeks ago. The whole role of attractiveness in relationships sucks, I'm not attractive to girls, least that is what I think. That is kinda what I am looking for, how can you tell when someone thinks you're attractive or when they are interested you, I mean i've seen a few girls who smile at me a bit more, and talked to some longer than others, but I mean, I really haven't seen any girls show anything more than a casual act. I'M graduating today and I've never had a girlfriend, but at least I know I am one of the nicest guys. I really don't see as I should have to change me looks to suit popular tastes, and I'm not going to. I get nagged a bit for my long hair. Talking is good, and not just
"how are you today?"
"I'm fine."
"What is you favorite..."
"......"
But really talking out some deep feeling. It is a wonderful thing to know that your important feeling have been heard. Use Eye Contact, Interpret what they are saying, rephrase it back to them so they for sure know that their feelings have been understood. I agree that you should be creative with your date environment, don't do the same thing every time. Babysit with her, there's one I would do. Here's a sexual one, make sure she is satisfied, don't just do your thing and be done. Take it slow, take it easy, make sure that she wants it and is not feeling pressured. ASK QUESTIONS. If you are gonna tell them look nice, don't do just that, "You look nice". You should have just gotten an F on your English paper if you say that, be descriptive and precise, "The reason I feel attracted to you is because of your wonderful personality and the uniqueness of your face, which jumps out from any crowd and all other girls." Don't ACT nice, BE nice, and if that doesn't suit your personality, than you're a jerk and that's what you get for being a jerk all the time. I've for the most part gotten over the shy part, I'm ready to go out and get rejected. I have some self-confidence, I know I have an attractive body, and really cute feet, and that most girls would want me because of how nice I am, but the whole people thinking I am attractive before they know me doesn't really work. Anyways, I've said enough for now, I might post some more stuff later

*prints and hands out to friends*

that was good advice! =]

Vozedale aww... you seem like a sweet guy who knows what he's doing. really, most girls would say they dont care about the attractiveness of the guy, but the inside is what counts. do you have a special girl in mind? if not, don't worry, you'll find someone who will understand who you are.

i have a friend who will graduate in june, and he told me that he really liked this girl for 3 years already, since he was in grade 10. she was in his social studies class and he thought she was very beautiful and smart. he's so shy though, and the smallest smile she gives him makes him soo much happier.
it shouldnt be that he doesnt have self confidence because he is very good looking, and one of the best basketball players in school. he's just shy that way.

but i think he'll be happy and find a girl who will understand where he's coming from. i think u will too.

would you wanna go feed some ducks wit me? dinna at a quite french restaurant n a ride along the beach wit the top down?

hahahhah. are you mocking me?

jk

Nice advice Robbie

Joke around with her, be funny. The point is to act too confortable with her.

Act like you knew her for 20 years, how would you act towards someone you knew your whole life? You be funny.

Make conversation like(just as an example):

You:"What do you do?"
Her:"I'm a child psychologist"
You:"Oh, I see...you weren't good enough for an adult?"

Of course you make this sound like a joke and she'll more than likely react as:
1."NO I chose the career!"
Response:"Suuuure ya did"*smile*
2."UH!"*Playful slap*
Response:"Well you sure hit like a child ^_^"

Be funny, the point is to make HER feel good. And who wouldn't enjoy a good laugh among friends. If she feels good and comfortable around you then you have a better chance of her either saying yes or sticking with you.

All in all the point is obvious just:

1.DON'T TRY(be natural, insecurity is a turn off)

2. Make her feel confortable(Comedy is the best way)

Enjoy ^_^

yup! all those are 100& true, those tips from 1-7.

and to let all boys know, girls love hugs. when theyre sad, theyll tell their friends that they need a hug. so lotsa hugs, lotsa smiles, lotsa love!!

Good advice, although I personally don't see the necessity of being friends with a girl first before you ask her on a date. In fact, I think that can make things a lot harder, transitioning from friends to a romantic couple. Now, I rarely ask out girls I just met, I admit; but I think it's fine to ask out some young woman that you've maybe only hung out with a few times. Then again, I guess you would be friends with her at that point; I'm not sure if you mean friends as in you know and talk to her and hang out occasionally, or good friends.

1. call her pretty or beautiful instead of hott & sexy and stuff
2. hang out with her afterschool and try to get to know her & let her get confy around you
3. don't call her all the time, she may time you're crazy [trust me, this guy does that to me right now]
4. if she looks like somethign is wrong, hug her and just don't crowd her
5. include her when you're with friends
6. don't tell others things that happened when you two were alone
7. if you really want to kiss her, give her a kiss one the cheek or forehead and see how she reponses before trying to tongue her
8. don't get too horny and like try to start making out with her every second you get
9. don't get mad at her for talking and haning out with her guy friends
10. make sure she knows that you notice her i.e. look up and smile at her && greet her..even if you are with your friends
11. don't interupt her or stop talking to her just to "holler" at your friends, just discreetly(sp?) nodded at your friends and stuff... esp if she never does that to you.
12.be a gentleman
13. hugs = happiness

hope that will help you guys a little

I *reallly* agree with that... you might not even realize that you don't care about outside appearances. I used to say that the guy had to be at least pleasant to look at, but last year I ended up seriously liking a guy I didn't think was attractive, somehow I just stopped caring.

And, I would *love* to go ice-skating in Rockafeller Center in November... it's all Serendipity's [sp??] fault.

i know, i love classicly polite gentlemen, but they are scarce

oh CRAP, ahha good advice. I've done all of it, so i must be well off. ;p

good stuff for n00bs to the relationship life style.

I have a couple myself.

Rule Number 1:
She's always right
Rule Number 2:
If you know you are right, refer to rule number 1.

:P

Go at her pace, not yours because you'll seem like an a-hole if you push her too hard.

^ROFL

In the immortal words of Hitch:

"60% of human commuinication is non verbal, body language.
30% is tone.
So, 90% of what you say, aint commin out of your mouth."

True stuff, you can have the greatest pick up line, the greatest plan, or the greatest reasearch on her. But, if you don't know how to look, she'll shoot you down before you even open your mouth.

Solution?
I'm no professional on this, but here is my advice:

DON'T LOOK DOWN- it shows your uncertain of yourself
Don't slouch- Makes you look weak and insecure
Don't fold your arms(I don't quite get this one)- Appearently is shows you have no intelligence...(I doubt this one, I cross my arms because it supports me when I'm standing up, but eh)
Keep your mouth shut- Not all the time, but don't walk around with your mouth hung open.

Sit up and even lean back a little- It shows your confident and strong
hold your head up-It show's your sure of yourself
Smile alot- through your smile, someone else will smile. If you smile then it shows your easy to get along with.
Look people in the eyes- It means you're listening, and actually care what the other is saying.

There are actually some books our there to teach you these things, they give you specifics on things that aren't as obvious as the ones I've listed.

(and if you think "Oh then women don't see this or look for this", then you don't know that women are 10 times better (scientifically) at sending and recieving body signals)

They WILL know, and the worst thing you can do is fake it.
If you really want to learn, it isn't all that hard, infact, as soon as you "get it" it will feel totally natural.
Watch movies like "Hitch" "James Bond" ect, study other people. If you really want to learn, just ask someone who know's what he's doing, they will either be more than happy to gloat about how smart they are, or want something in return.

I don't know a wide variety of places, but one thing that people have really refered to (and I've read a little bit of) is this link:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/

If I find a forum like this, then that link is usually there at least once.

^^ effing casanova up there ahah

i saw hitch, and i studied it like a mad man, it taught me to listen and be more strong infront of the intended target...err umm girl ^_^

i should print this out and stick it in my wallet! lol

^thats really sad
crossing your arms is negative body language and makes you look defensive and unwilling to be open up...

Oh my f*cking wow.

this really is a great topic. i agree with these al, guy have to be gentle to girls when they are in a relationship. they are not your TOYS, DOLLS, ETC.! god dammit

You dare challenge my knowledge?



Damn straight

Good!

Now the guys on cb don't have an excuse for screwing up with their girls.

fallen fairy

another thing i almost allways fall for lol.. is if a guy can make you laugh but still know when to be serious. also give her attention, if there are other girls around talk to her or sit near her, but not in a stalking weird way.. just casual.

any plans on being a future physcologist?

haha number four in misc. pieces of advice? yea i had this one guy do that to me....he told me he loved me.....every single day! and we'd only known each other for what? a week? maybe 2?

He must've wanted to have sex with you hardcore.

first of all Wah! cracks me up. but what ur saying is true, cuz if a nice guy said that id be like sure i can pay for myself

i wouldnt expect any guy to tell me he loves me in 2 weeks...i hate it when i see lol "newly going out" couples saying, "i love you sooo much! see you later." im like well that love isnt true love obviously.

For me it just two simple things
1 Let her get to know you. How can she open up to a complete stranger
2 This applies vice versa. You dont wanna say something that'll upset her

The rest is up to destinmy I would say

rofl. actually, yes, before. thanks for all the positive feedback, ill edit the first post with all the new advice so people dont have to read the whole thing.

=D