Dear CB diary:

i am lethargic. ysc sucks. i need another vacation. i'm still in love and it's breaking my heart.

LyKe omgz0rz mAi LyFe SuXxXx0rZzZzZz

self loathing.

dear createblog diary,

kids are evil. but also extremely gullible and stupid
i managed to convince a bunch of 8-9 yr olds that i had 4 eyes, including one in the back of my head. ha. and the dinosaur version of operation kicks ass.
and now im happy cuz my friend George works with me and we eat lunch together. im too busy to feel depressed
-michelle

this is so awful. i just got 3 0's in health, the class i already had an 86 in, and i think i just missed the unit exam too, so there's a very good chance i'm not or at least just barelypassing health now. fuckkkkkkkkkkk

dear cb diary,

why is he doing this to me? why? its not like i don't want to talk but...that was just disgustingly awkward. i mean really. just give it time, you can't force these things to just work out like that...ugh. that was just...ass. thats what i think.

cB diary,
i am really tired and bored @.@ its 11:30 at night and i cant fall asleep. me, my cusns and uncle were gonna ride our bikes today at the forest preserve buh then the rain had to fall .. why did it had to b this day? and whaaa i miss my best friend .. she moved a couple of days ago. i hope i see her soon. Im really random x) oh and i love my new hair cus its easier to dry and shampoo :) lol anyways im gonna get in trouble soon cus ive been in this damn laptop for 5 straight hours blah thats all i got rite now.

Dear Createblog Diary,
Okay so I talked to him on the phone. I didn't want to answer..I must admit. I suspected that it would be akward Goodness, it was. Well not for him but for me. It should be him. yeah he asked me fi I was tired or was it that I didn't want to talk. It was sooo fjkshdjfksd. I was being quiet and just weird. I should have never fjkshdf.

dear createblog diary,

*sigh* where did the day go? I woke up around 10 am this morning and it's already lunch time. okay, enough about that. yes! me, my friend, my Mother, and possible my aunt are going to Canton this saturday . for those of you who don't live in Texas, you probably don't know what, or where Canton is. it's a huge, fun, flee market. seems a little boring when you just hear about it... but once you get there, you just want to go again, and again, hehe ^_^ the best thing to me about Canton is where you drive this cart around, lol. yes, this is outside, and yes you can do it.. even at my age! okay, only with a parent, but close, lol. woot, this is so much fun. goodness, I gotta call my friend.. her parents are still talking about whether she can go or not. but.. it's only for one day! nothing too bad. just with me and some family members.

well, here I am again wasting my time on the computer, lol. heyy, the computer is SO addicting! so is xanga. speaking of xanga, I don't update much anymore. it gets too boring, ya know? you'll feel it sooner or later.

..Melissa..

Dear cB Diary,
A couple of minutes ago I was freaking pissed. Pissed as in very and deeply emotionally angry at my cousin for saying so harsh things about my parents. To start from the beginning, my mom doesn't really like her sister [who is a horrible woman and can only receive, not give] because she has done so many bad things. I can't help but dislike strongly some of my uncles and a few of my aunts for taking part on hating my mom like this, and the 'leader' of all this is her sister, the oldest one. I can't help but say to my little cousin that my mom didn't hate them, but who couldn't? I really cannot describe and go into detail online, perhaps because this isn't a private journal, but all the same. I sort of wish that my uncles and aunts didn't hate my mom. Now don't get me wrong, my two aunts are on my mom's side, but what about the rest? Somehow I get the feeling that all of my uncles are in on this. How could they. Rotten dirty little men. I hate this feeling of not being able to talk freely to my cousins because they might tell their parents; I hate their parents but I still have to say hello and talk to them normally. I have to learn to control my emotions before I explode and tell them the truth. But should the truth be heard, and what if they don't want to hear?

Confused, angry, and hurt -
Emazing.

Dear cB.

What is happiness?

I don't know what's going on. I just keep thinking of this line in a movie I saw.. This girl said "I've experienced no tragedy, yet I'm still afraid to try or nasofnap" something like that.

The thing is. I really have experienced no tragedy. My family is intact. I've had my share of boyfriends. I know I can lean on my friends. But I still find myself unsatisfied. Unsatisfied. Sometimes I don't think about it. Then.. After talking to other people my entire perspective shifts. A lot of people I know act confident and happy. But then nothing is ever what it really seems.

So why do I keep wanting all these things? Like a boyfriend. Maybe I think he'll be the answer to all my problems. But no one person can do that. And then.. Yesterday I read a book about a modern-day Cupid or something. Horribly written, but had a good message.. It's main point was to not go looking for just ANYONE to love. I mean that's worse than being alone, because in your mind you're trying to convince yourself that this person is everything your looking for. When he isn't.

I don't know. Maybe I don't really WANT anything that I've been wishing for. Maybe it's bigger than that.

<33

Dear createblog,
Happiness can only last for a couple of minutes.

The End.

Dear CBdiary,

i've stopped getting these weird temporary heart attacks. i figure they were from stress. for the past few days ive been having stress build up because of my grams. all she does is lay around and start shouting commands and saying rude remarks at me. its like can you please give me 5 minutes of silence. ive been feeling really aggressive but of course ive got to calm it down. but my mind is going mad. mad i tell you. gaou. and also i feel like my temples are going to explode.i want someone to punch me or slap me or slash me. i want someone to hurt me.

love,
Linda.

Dear CB Diary,

HELL YEAH ! Skool out! Summer here I cum! Beach n Flip Flops!

But not all is good [there alway sumthan bad] I need a new style 4 bac 2 skool . I noe it seems early but seriourly I hate leavin it 2 da last min. I was thinkin 'Rock and Republic' style but they cost so mch!
Sum thous

-Flirty but not slutty
-Tomboy
-Goth/Dark
-Punk ft. Sexxii 2
-Jst plain old punk

those r sum style I meant hit this summer n enterin skool year. Not sure yet.

-Liz

dear cb diary,

hmm...now that i think of it, its quite funny how fast one's life can change in the matter of one week. viewpoints and perspectives can turn, opinions become different, and many other things.
just...wow.

Dear Createblog Diary,.

Maybe I should just stop thinking about it. Why should I waste my time thinking about it. It's not like I've hear of ____ in months. Yeah. I need to stop.

So tomorrow I'm going to Miranda's house with Lauren,Claudia,Kathy. Yeah. "Potluck" It should be fun. Maybe get my mind off things. It should be yummy as well. lauren's maing brownies & Claudia is making mac and cheese. I don't know what Miranda or Kathy are bringing but I bet it's going to be good. Oh yeah, I'm bring the drinks and chips. Yummm.

Agh. So hm. My dad is gone.he's coming back soon though. My sister is gone as well. She won't be coming back. My grandma is having problems with my grandpa. My aunts and uncles aren't talking to each other or to my mother. They all hate me as well although I have no idea why because really, I have nothing to do with their stupid little immature problems. (Yes, immature. Fighting over goddamn stupid things. Like money was one of the reasons. God. They're just selfish. Not only have they ruined it for themselves but they ruined it for their kids and their nephews and nieces and for their parents too. Assholes.) I'm close to losing my best friend over the stupidest little things. Things we aren't even sure about. Hm thats pretty much it.

My dad situation is getting better though. Yay! My sister is calling me now like everyday just to say hi. Gosh it makes me feel really good that she still cares even though she's not here. She asked if I was free next week. She wanted to take me out. I'm kind of excited. I hope this time its just me and her. I just want to talk to her privately sometimes like old time. Now her boyfriend or whatever is always there. it doesn't bug me he's a really cool guy but I just want to spend time with her alone sometimes. Oh well. I'm still excited.

So Highschool..Oh wow. I'm pretty nervous. I was just talking to one of my friends who is in highschool. She made me feel better, I guess. I still feel nervous. I mean, ahh there sa lot more people there in highschool and I'm afraid my friends are going to drift. Actually, I'm almost sure they are. It sucks. I'm scared about Spanish though. I'm not going to know anybody in that class because I'm taking Spanish for Spanish Speakers. I don't know anybody at my school that is taking that class. I only know 2 people that speak spanish and they're taking French II. I don't know why I'm scared though because I loveee meeting new people. but yeah just scared overall. it's so big and theres many kinds of people. all the cliques and stuff. I thought it was worse enough in middle school but I'm guessing its nowhere near.

Oh goddd. I need to stop. This is a long long long post. Oh well. it feels good. =)

<333 Lorena

Dear cb diary,
Argg, I hate my parents so much. They try to control and restrict me and all they care about are my grades. I do try hard, and I'm sorry if they're not what they want, but arggg. If they keep me inside all summer, I'll go crazy. I need to see Stephen.

Dear Createblog Diary,
I really need to talk to someone. Someone that just won't judge me. Someone that'll just listen. sdja

dear cb diary,

bah. life is so good, yet so weirdly bad too. fooey. i just don't get it...i'm so confused yet..sure of myself all at once. what a contradiction... as always. i have a feeling of whats going to be said and whatnot...and i'll be so happy if i'm right but there's still that chance that i could be so totally wrong...
and that could just kill me right about now.

stop doing stupid things. stop making me worry about you. my incessant disapproval of things makes it awfully hard to see the humor, it's still killing me. its not fair that you can make me so happy one minute and so depressed the next. its just stupid

Dear createblog diary,
This summer has been like a rollar coaster of emotions.
I'm at the down point right now.

Dear cB diary:

AHHHH i'm so excited. Going to Cincinnati, Ohio for SURE to visit my friend in Ohio. d=]]

^ =O Me too! lmao.

Dear Createblog Diary,
Ohhh yay! I'm going to Ohio too. With Lauren to visit Cailtin! I haven't really traveled outside of the state since 5 years ago. My family never really travels. Ha, we don't have the unity in the first place. But anyways ahh I'm already feeling hella paranoid. About the plain and whatnot. So scared. I'm sure everything's going to to fine. Eleven days. So I'm leaving for Ohio on August 1st and coming back August 11th. =) Aw I'm kind of feeling guilty because I'm not going to be here for my best friend's birthday. (Wow, I said best friend ..) Yeah he's kind of mad or sad. Ickk I'll call him for SURE. & I promised to bring him a birthday present from there. Ohh and the day after I come back, he's going to go to some firework show and he wants to take me. That should be fun, if it happens. Mmmm hmm so yeah =) Ahh well that's enough of an entry. No big rants today. I'm feeling quite happy today. Wow, I am. Oh go me.

By the way, 2000TH post =)

<33 Lorena

^ happy 2000th post, Lorena! ^_____^;;

dear cb diary,
my mom is being a bitch. shes so annoying. i cant tell her anything anymore. dad went to visit ms joy for the weekend + 4th of july. no fun =[
i just talk to friends online if im sad now. yeah...
my sleeping pattern is getting waaaaay to weird now. i got 13 hours os sleep last night and went to bed at %;30 this morning. i hate this, i need to stop!

ah, its 1:11 now, might as well go to bed @__@...

dear cB diary,

i'm at that moment again, where i feel everything's right yet it isn't. like i know people have it worst than me and i do have fun. but im kinda bored with it all. honestly. i dont know what to do for fun. i wanna cry, but it doesn't come out. im just... emotionless. im not happy, im not sad, im at the happy medium. it's like...lifes become routine.

Dear createBlog Diary,

This morning, I got up, thinking I would take a shower before going out. But the bathtub is clogged. Great. But I wash my hair anyway. So Jennifer and I go to see War of the Worlds. Apparently, Kenny couldn't make it because his friends didn't want to go. The movie was enjoyable. I didn't laugh my head off (that much) during this movie. I did mock some scenes, though and started cracking up.

Then Jennifer and I went to the Westlake Shopping Center. She took me to that restaurant where she wanted me to see the guy that works there. He came out once, but I didn't get to see him because I was too preoccuppied(sp?) with my camera. So yeah, we waited for a while, but then we decided to leave. I didn't get to see him. So we went to Walgreens and bought lip gloss. Man, that shopping center place is so small and dull. So we just went back to the theatre 'til we got picked up.

Later, Doug wants me to see Land of the Dead. I said no, but since Priscilla wanted to go, I went. But then he wanted to see Batmin Begins. So we saw that instead. The first 30-60 were SO dull. But then it started getting pretty interesting. Overall, it was okay, but it's not really my kind of my movie.

So then I come back home online, and Kenny tells me that him, Toby, and Kelly quit cB. Just f**king great. Y'all suck!

--Cheryl

Dear cB diary,
Angela has came over. :] I finally get to see her in person.
I am actually planning on taking sleeping pills.. To go to sleep. ;x Mikey thinks I might overdose.. so he's trying to stop me. Okay, nice.
Well, I'm just so hungry. I even tried starving myself to death, but I can't resist when it comes to a dinner with food that looks delicious.. and when your parents force you to eat. Sucks.

Well, yeah. >.< My mom's hurting my eardrums talking on the phone.
I've felt so depressed all day. I really don't know why. I've actually been lying in bed all day on my laptop.. I hate seeing other faces.

Oh, and I'm starting to write poems again. I haven't written a poem for so long, actually. Veronica started me to writing poems, and I guess I stopped. Again, I am writing. I still think it's horrible, so I'm not showing anyone any more of my poems. They laugh at me, thinking poetry is stupid. Especially mine. It hurts my feelings.. but I still manage to live.

<3 Toby.

Dear cB Diary,
Okay. The news is out. I quit cB. That's final. People were like, "Why!?" and some people said that they hated me because I quit cB. I'm not trying to name anyone but yeah. I'm not in much of a good mood right now. I feel so bad right now that I even feel like quitting the internet. But I won't. The internet is my life. I know, I sound geeky and my life sounds boring. So what. I don't care. I have nothing better to do.

On the other hand, Lorena and I are meeting up for the first time next next week. I'm soo excited. She's the first person from the internet that I'm actually gonna meet up with. Ughh, I can't wait! =)

Goodnight,
Kelly

closed. new one up.