Originally started by fathin_felix. Great idea.
Version2
Version3
Old one was 22 pages. Diary? Self-explanitory? I think so. Don't post in here solely to comment on someone else's day.. you can quote them, but don't make that your post.
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Dear createBlog Diary,
I suppose it's been a long while since I've really written anything. I still can't find the inspiration I once had. Just, sometimes, I miss writing. Makes me feel empty, yanno? Time to ramble on some more.
Last night, I felt utterly tired, for no reason. I mean, I'm on freaking spring break, I shouldn't feel tired of anything, really. But I realized I was. I was sitting here on the computer, with nothing to do, nobody to talk to, nothing to relate to. I hated that feeling of utter.. boredom. I still don't know why. I guess I still haven't grown out of the phase where I can't see past the monotony of life. It's almost over though, high school, I mean. More than halfway.
And I can't believe break is more than half over already too. It used to be that the days would drag by, but already, it's Thursday, and I have yet to accomplish anything. Party tomorrow night at Jenn's, and I kind of want to go. At the same time though, I don't. I guess I'm worn out at the moment.
There's nobody to call late at night anymore. People are in school, they have work, whatever. I don't like keeping people up if they have things to do the next day-- it makes me feel bad. And I've been waking up so late nowadays. It makes me feel like a lazy pig. I dunno. I suppose it's just me. Is all, for now. Until next time.
-Me.
Full Version: createBlog Diary
cB diary,
It has been a while since I have felt this good. It's been quite sometime since I have had this feeling, you know the one. Where even if everything seems to be falling apart, you are still completely happy as long as you talk to that certain special someone.
I like it, but at the same time I am scared. I am scared of being hurt, of falling too hard, of loving too much. I am scared of knowing that in another year, we are both going to college. Most likely in different states, a plane ride away. It sucks to realize that we are probably going to break up because long distance is hard to deal with, esp. in college. I just want this year to last forever, for us to be together and happy. I don't want to have to think about what you are going to be doing and how many girls you are fliting with. I just want to be with you. Plain and simple, with YOU.
It has been a while since I have felt this good. It's been quite sometime since I have had this feeling, you know the one. Where even if everything seems to be falling apart, you are still completely happy as long as you talk to that certain special someone.
I like it, but at the same time I am scared. I am scared of being hurt, of falling too hard, of loving too much. I am scared of knowing that in another year, we are both going to college. Most likely in different states, a plane ride away. It sucks to realize that we are probably going to break up because long distance is hard to deal with, esp. in college. I just want this year to last forever, for us to be together and happy. I don't want to have to think about what you are going to be doing and how many girls you are fliting with. I just want to be with you. Plain and simple, with YOU.
Dear CB Diary.
Today Anna reached 3k posts. I am very happy for her.
People are starting to really suck here. I have no patience for them. I have lost my ability to lock my emotions up. So now, whenever someone says something stupid to me or complains, I just tell them why they deserve what happened. Incompetent fools.
Today Anna reached 3k posts. I am very happy for her.
People are starting to really suck here. I have no patience for them. I have lost my ability to lock my emotions up. So now, whenever someone says something stupid to me or complains, I just tell them why they deserve what happened. Incompetent fools.
Literally, what the hell did I do wrong this time?..
Maybe it's just his computer again, but he won't even fucking talk to me. What the hell did I do wrong now? I barely said anything to him last night. I didn't ignore him, but I didn't say anything that could be taken the wrong way.
Fuck it.
Three days.
More shitty news though.
Paul was out last night. Not sure why.
They're also not playing as many songs.
My God....What the hell else can go wrong now?
I've been dying to see them for over FIVE FRICKING YEARS, and now I FINALLY can, and it's going to be shitty. I just know it. Either it's going to get cancelled, or they're only going to play for 20 minutes.
I'm not even grateful to see them at this point. I know it's not their fault. I know they love their fans, but all the same, I feel really let down.
Whatever.
I'll stop whining now.
To sum it up, this week has fucking sucked.
Excuse my language.
Shoot me in the head,
Brie
Maybe it's just his computer again, but he won't even fucking talk to me. What the hell did I do wrong now? I barely said anything to him last night. I didn't ignore him, but I didn't say anything that could be taken the wrong way.
Fuck it.
Three days.
More shitty news though.
Paul was out last night. Not sure why.
They're also not playing as many songs.
My God....What the hell else can go wrong now?
I've been dying to see them for over FIVE FRICKING YEARS, and now I FINALLY can, and it's going to be shitty. I just know it. Either it's going to get cancelled, or they're only going to play for 20 minutes.
I'm not even grateful to see them at this point. I know it's not their fault. I know they love their fans, but all the same, I feel really let down.
Whatever.
I'll stop whining now.
To sum it up, this week has fucking sucked.
Excuse my language.
Shoot me in the head,
Brie
Dear cB diary,
I can't stand it anymore. I just can't. It's so freaking funny how he looks at her and when he looks at me, he doesn't take me serious. How he always seem to have her back on everything. While she has it all. And I have nothing. I seem so lonely with him. I just don't understand. I don't understand how we're not "supposedly" together. I mean. We have so many things in common. He's my perfect guy. I don't know why he doesn't see that. Just I don't know. I really would like him to know how much he's intentionally hurting me. And to see how it feels to be the last one standing.
Anywho. Today I got autograph books. I had about 22 or 23? people sign. Tomorrow I shall bring it back into school and have the rest sign.
And today, I was also informed that for graduation trip, we're going to the wax museum.
I want to go to Six Flags like 74... but NO.. "it has to be educational". Screw the board of ed. They don't even know how much freaking work we do in school and we ask for.. just one day of fun.. but NOO. It's not freaking "educational". Last year, the grads got to go to Washington DC for overnight. Not fair. And it's not like the school is paying for our trip. Gosh. I was to smack them in the face.
Overall, today was a good day. I felt more connected with him but he just hurts me. Gah. I also got a 60 on spanish test. I hope mom doesn't yell at me too much.
- Me.
I can't stand it anymore. I just can't. It's so freaking funny how he looks at her and when he looks at me, he doesn't take me serious. How he always seem to have her back on everything. While she has it all. And I have nothing. I seem so lonely with him. I just don't understand. I don't understand how we're not "supposedly" together. I mean. We have so many things in common. He's my perfect guy. I don't know why he doesn't see that. Just I don't know. I really would like him to know how much he's intentionally hurting me. And to see how it feels to be the last one standing.
Anywho. Today I got autograph books. I had about 22 or 23? people sign. Tomorrow I shall bring it back into school and have the rest sign.
And today, I was also informed that for graduation trip, we're going to the wax museum.
I want to go to Six Flags like 74... but NO.. "it has to be educational". Screw the board of ed. They don't even know how much freaking work we do in school and we ask for.. just one day of fun.. but NOO. It's not freaking "educational". Last year, the grads got to go to Washington DC for overnight. Not fair. And it's not like the school is paying for our trip. Gosh. I was to smack them in the face.Overall, today was a good day. I felt more connected with him but he just hurts me. Gah. I also got a 60 on spanish test. I hope mom doesn't yell at me too much.
- Me.
Dear CBD.
I swear, I'm f**king bipolar. I'm shit. I'm worthless. Yet, I'm worth all of her love. She loved me enough to give her life. Yesterday was two months on my suicide attempt, and I'm feeling horribly again. I don't want to end this life.
S. didn't pick up when I called her. That's bad, cos she would have talked sense into me. Now I'm here. I want to sever all ties with everyone. But I can't. And A. says it's bad that I want to do that. I think that K is pissed at me.
Fcuk, I don't deserve any ones love.
I swear, I'm f**king bipolar. I'm shit. I'm worthless. Yet, I'm worth all of her love. She loved me enough to give her life. Yesterday was two months on my suicide attempt, and I'm feeling horribly again. I don't want to end this life.
S. didn't pick up when I called her. That's bad, cos she would have talked sense into me. Now I'm here. I want to sever all ties with everyone. But I can't. And A. says it's bad that I want to do that. I think that K is pissed at me.
Fcuk, I don't deserve any ones love.
Dear cB Diary,
If they don't announce the new staff memebers soon, I am going to shoot myself.
And I am pretty sure that if I don't get modded, I am going to leave. Not because of jealousy, but because I really need to focus on school/outside life. Obviously being modded would give me some actual purpose to coming on cB, other than being the sarcastic nazi grammar bitch that n00bs and stupid kids hate.
If they don't announce the new staff memebers soon, I am going to shoot myself.
And I am pretty sure that if I don't get modded, I am going to leave. Not because of jealousy, but because I really need to focus on school/outside life. Obviously being modded would give me some actual purpose to coming on cB, other than being the sarcastic nazi grammar bitch that n00bs and stupid kids hate.
dear cB diary...
kind of had a good day..
things were kind of awkward in BPA..couldnt help it..
I tried to talk to him...Kind of stuttered..
It was ok though..I was like: you look tired, and your eyes look red..And he was like: You look tired and your eyes look red..Lol..That was during science...hehe..
In math Pa** continued to scare me..lol...
In BPA Os*** talked to me..Kind of was embrassing..He was like what are you doing?And I was like working on the paper..and he was like oh...And then other ppl walk in so he doesnt say anything..strange....
Wow..It nice having a new createblog version..It was getting quite long..lol..
<3 Nancy..
kind of had a good day..
things were kind of awkward in BPA..couldnt help it..
I tried to talk to him...Kind of stuttered..
It was ok though..I was like: you look tired, and your eyes look red..And he was like: You look tired and your eyes look red..Lol..That was during science...hehe..In math Pa** continued to scare me..lol...
In BPA Os*** talked to me..Kind of was embrassing..He was like what are you doing?And I was like working on the paper..and he was like oh...And then other ppl walk in so he doesnt say anything..strange....
Wow..It nice having a new createblog version..It was getting quite long..lol..
<3 Nancy..
Dear createBlog diary,
Not even a day, and I'm writing in here already. Just need somewhere to let loose, and I suppose it's here. Honestly, it's nothing though-- I'm just lonely. Ten thirty-six at night, I should be on the phone or sleeping; instead, I'm sitting here, pouting. There's no one I'd rather be talking to right now. Last night, I called up Christina and Eve, and I simply don't feel like doing it again tonight.
Only two nights since I last talked to Justin, and I miss him already, so much. I love the sound of his voice. I love talking to him. I love everything about him. God, he's so perfect. Two weeks until he moves out--only a little more until he visits. I know he needs his sleep, I know he works and has school, I know he has a life outside of me, but.. I want to be a bigger part of it. I guess I'll have to wait--just a little longer.
And now I'm bitter. We were just talking about birthdays, to some degree. My parents didn't even remember mine. I thought I was okay with it. I mean, I really thought I was, but the more I think about it, the more I realize, it was my sweet sixteen that they forgot. They've thought that I've been sixteen for the past two years. Sure, I thought I had a wonderful day at school that day, people remembered, but it was Jennster mainly. That girl, I don't know what I'd do without her, but she has so many other people there for her too. I'm not one to go around like her, making friends everywhere. I've too much anger, too much hatred. It was all her though, the balloons, the starbucks, the recognition. Nobody else had any idea. Not even my very parents. It's sad, really. Sometimes all I want is to be remembered, maybe even appreciated. It's too much to ask for.
-Me.
p.s. I'm out of food in my room, and for some inexplicable reason, I'm starving not even three hours after I ate dinner. Sigh. Good night.
-- I really don't mean to complain. It just comes out that way whenever I write in here. :\
Not even a day, and I'm writing in here already. Just need somewhere to let loose, and I suppose it's here. Honestly, it's nothing though-- I'm just lonely. Ten thirty-six at night, I should be on the phone or sleeping; instead, I'm sitting here, pouting. There's no one I'd rather be talking to right now. Last night, I called up Christina and Eve, and I simply don't feel like doing it again tonight.
Only two nights since I last talked to Justin, and I miss him already, so much. I love the sound of his voice. I love talking to him. I love everything about him. God, he's so perfect. Two weeks until he moves out--only a little more until he visits. I know he needs his sleep, I know he works and has school, I know he has a life outside of me, but.. I want to be a bigger part of it. I guess I'll have to wait--just a little longer.
我好想他。
And now I'm bitter. We were just talking about birthdays, to some degree. My parents didn't even remember mine. I thought I was okay with it. I mean, I really thought I was, but the more I think about it, the more I realize, it was my sweet sixteen that they forgot. They've thought that I've been sixteen for the past two years. Sure, I thought I had a wonderful day at school that day, people remembered, but it was Jennster mainly. That girl, I don't know what I'd do without her, but she has so many other people there for her too. I'm not one to go around like her, making friends everywhere. I've too much anger, too much hatred. It was all her though, the balloons, the starbucks, the recognition. Nobody else had any idea. Not even my very parents. It's sad, really. Sometimes all I want is to be remembered, maybe even appreciated. It's too much to ask for.
-Me.
p.s. I'm out of food in my room, and for some inexplicable reason, I'm starving not even three hours after I ate dinner. Sigh. Good night.
-- I really don't mean to complain. It just comes out that way whenever I write in here. :\
Dear CB diary-
Today I found out that one of my friends, that I have no feelings for really, likes another girl. A lot. So why do I care so much still? Why am I feeling like my world is all messed up if I don't have feelings for him?? I cannot answer these questions. I am so sad. I hope no one bothers me today. I hate having to act fake, but I must because otherwise, people will ask questions and make me act more of a bitch. So on goes the fake smile and laugh.
Today I found out that one of my friends, that I have no feelings for really, likes another girl. A lot. So why do I care so much still? Why am I feeling like my world is all messed up if I don't have feelings for him?? I cannot answer these questions. I am so sad. I hope no one bothers me today. I hate having to act fake, but I must because otherwise, people will ask questions and make me act more of a bitch. So on goes the fake smile and laugh.
Dear Createblog diary,
Today was a regular day. A lot of my fake smiles came out today.
Damn. I have no f**king life.
Today was a regular day. A lot of my fake smiles came out today.
Damn. I have no f**king life.
Dear cb diary,
today was an ok day. so damn happy that its friday. this week took forever. i pray to God that the rest of the school year isnt like that.
. anways, man i like him so much that i think i'm going to die. its so hard not to let him know that i wanna be his girl. why is he still with her? uhh! this is just not fair. i just want to find someone who..no...i want HIM..period. please God let me have him
-reekah
today was an ok day. so damn happy that its friday. this week took forever. i pray to God that the rest of the school year isnt like that.
. anways, man i like him so much that i think i'm going to die. its so hard not to let him know that i wanna be his girl. why is he still with her? uhh! this is just not fair. i just want to find someone who..no...i want HIM..period. please God let me have him-reekah
Dear cB diary,
Today was kinda cool. He hooked his arm around me. Hehe. But it was only because Jason kinda told him to. "I'll hug her if you hug her." kind of thing. I blushed. I replied "Don't ever do that" but obviously, I lied. I wanted him to do that again and again. Forever. :]
Anywho, I told his best friend that I liked him. And he kinda expected it. Whatever. I'm glad that my crush's best friend knows I like his best friend. hehe. And he told me who he liked. Very cool conversation. lol. And I watched Naruto up to ep. 11 ! Sasuke pwns man. Very cute.
Tuesday is Carol's birthday. Can't wait.
Today was kinda cool. He hooked his arm around me. Hehe. But it was only because Jason kinda told him to. "I'll hug her if you hug her." kind of thing. I blushed. I replied "Don't ever do that" but obviously, I lied. I wanted him to do that again and again. Forever. :]
Anywho, I told his best friend that I liked him. And he kinda expected it. Whatever. I'm glad that my crush's best friend knows I like his best friend. hehe. And he told me who he liked. Very cool conversation. lol. And I watched Naruto up to ep. 11 ! Sasuke pwns man. Very cute.
Tuesday is Carol's birthday. Can't wait.
QUOTE(xxcrazyjewxx @ Apr 21 2005, 10:22 PM)
Dear cB Diary,
If they don't announce the new staff memebers soon, I am going to shoot myself.
And I am pretty sure that if I don't get modded, I am going to leave. Not because of jealousy, but because I really need to focus on school/outside life. Obviously being modded would give me some actual purpose to coming on cB, other than being the sarcastic nazi grammar bitch that n00bs and stupid kids hate.
If they don't announce the new staff memebers soon, I am going to shoot myself.
And I am pretty sure that if I don't get modded, I am going to leave. Not because of jealousy, but because I really need to focus on school/outside life. Obviously being modded would give me some actual purpose to coming on cB, other than being the sarcastic nazi grammar bitch that n00bs and stupid kids hate.
Aw, Rachel, who will correct all of the grammatically disturbed(?) kids here on cB?? Eh, you have a big chance in making it, so I don't see you leaving soon.
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Dear cB Diary,
We just had a really big storm. Tornados surrounded us everywhere. Now the sun is out and it's beautiful. Although there's still little piles of hail everywhere. I really need this weekend after all of the chaos this week. No Thunder over Louisville this weekend. I'm really mad about that. Anyways, we can't get that neon. Who knows, we'll probably be without transportation for a while. And Josh's getting braces! haha. Just bored here tonight waiting to hear more news on the whole cB hiring event. Well, I guess my Friday night shows will leep me occupied for a while.
/\/1(0|_3
Excuse the last entry...I was pretty....Angsty.
I'm okay now.
No school today.
Went to the optional band practice at school.
Woot for my automatic 'A.'
Joe's calling me tonight.
Driving up to Minneapolis/St. Paul tomorrow morning. Yeah, a day early for the concert. We're going to hang out, I guess.
Got the new Wednesday 13 CD....Finally.
I'm so cold.
I can't wait for him to call me...
Two days,
Brie
I'm okay now.
No school today.
Went to the optional band practice at school.
Woot for my automatic 'A.'
Joe's calling me tonight.
Driving up to Minneapolis/St. Paul tomorrow morning. Yeah, a day early for the concert. We're going to hang out, I guess.
Got the new Wednesday 13 CD....Finally.
I'm so cold.
I can't wait for him to call me...
Two days,
Brie
Hey cB Diary,
finally, here in my new home. It's warm here. Warmer than NJ. So I guess that's a plus.. I must admit, I'm learning to like it here. i still miss all my wonderful friends, though. I went to the middle school today.. I saw this really hot guy workng at the desk. =) the teachers were nice. turns out, I was in the wrong school, though. So I had to go to another school.. which is rogich middle school. I searched students there on myspace.. nice. A lot of people. o.O
It turns out I need a shot for this state. It's required for Nevada. So I went.. ow.. My left arm was numb for a little while.
So back to my school, everyone was gone except for the teacher. I must admit, the middle school is bigger than GTMS in my old home. Still, I wanna go back. ]; So.. now I'm going to school Monday. Wooohoo. [/sarcasm]
I dont know what classes to sign up.
Band - I suck.
Guitar - No patience.
Web Design - YES!!!!!!! But dammit, it's for 7th & 8th grade only. Oh, well. The year's almost over. Thus, next year in 7th grade, I will join web design classes.<3 Oh, and I'm taking bowling. Bowling club in school. I wanted to go to debate, but they don't have debate club.
I'm going to maybe join explorations.. since it's for all grades and its the only thing I can choose for now.
Ah, wish me luck on Monday. I'll need it..
- Toby.
finally, here in my new home. It's warm here. Warmer than NJ. So I guess that's a plus.. I must admit, I'm learning to like it here. i still miss all my wonderful friends, though. I went to the middle school today.. I saw this really hot guy workng at the desk. =) the teachers were nice. turns out, I was in the wrong school, though. So I had to go to another school.. which is rogich middle school. I searched students there on myspace.. nice. A lot of people. o.O
It turns out I need a shot for this state. It's required for Nevada. So I went.. ow.. My left arm was numb for a little while.
So back to my school, everyone was gone except for the teacher. I must admit, the middle school is bigger than GTMS in my old home. Still, I wanna go back. ]; So.. now I'm going to school Monday. Wooohoo. [/sarcasm]
I dont know what classes to sign up.
Band - I suck.
Guitar - No patience.
Web Design - YES!!!!!!! But dammit, it's for 7th & 8th grade only. Oh, well. The year's almost over. Thus, next year in 7th grade, I will join web design classes.<3 Oh, and I'm taking bowling. Bowling club in school. I wanted to go to debate, but they don't have debate club.
I'm going to maybe join explorations.. since it's for all grades and its the only thing I can choose for now.
Ah, wish me luck on Monday. I'll need it..
- Toby.
hey cBd,
I got made fun of today, again. Because I like Good Charlotte. Who gives a f**k what any one thinks about them? If I like their songs, because they speak to me, why should any one in my classes care?
Yeah, maybe I am a freak for liking them, but whatever. It's not my f**king fault that they know how to speak to kids. Little f**kers.
Maybe I can get tickets to the one RK, SP, GC shows in OH. I don't know yet. Please, Lord.
J
I got made fun of today, again. Because I like Good Charlotte. Who gives a f**k what any one thinks about them? If I like their songs, because they speak to me, why should any one in my classes care?
Yeah, maybe I am a freak for liking them, but whatever. It's not my f**king fault that they know how to speak to kids. Little f**kers.
Maybe I can get tickets to the one RK, SP, GC shows in OH. I don't know yet. Please, Lord.
J
QUOTE(bballbabiegrl @ Apr 22 2005, 9:48 AM)
Dear CB diary-
Today I found out that one of my friends, that I have no feelings for really, likes another girl. A lot. So why do I care so much still? Why am I feeling like my world is all messed up if I don't have feelings for him?? I cannot answer these questions. I am so sad. I hope no one bothers me today. I hate having to act fake, but I must because otherwise, people will ask questions and make me act more of a bitch. So on goes the fake smile and laugh.
Today I found out that one of my friends, that I have no feelings for really, likes another girl. A lot. So why do I care so much still? Why am I feeling like my world is all messed up if I don't have feelings for him?? I cannot answer these questions. I am so sad. I hope no one bothers me today. I hate having to act fake, but I must because otherwise, people will ask questions and make me act more of a bitch. So on goes the fake smile and laugh.
See, it's entries like these that make me angry. Why? Because I don't know who you're talking about and we're supposed to be best friends. Stupid school has made us distant! Haha. We must talk dear
Dear cB Diary,
So this past week really sucked. I mean honestly...it sucked. I missed a lot of school, got in trouble, calls from the dean, letters sent home, got in fights, just an overall LAME week. And the weekend isn't looking much brighter. Why? Because of all the homework and studying that needs to be done and because our beloved Pastor is leaving. I'm going to have a breakdown on Sunday. Leaving...how can he leave? I'm going to miss him so much. I need him. Yeah there's Evan but I want Tony to be there too. It's because of him that our church has been prosperous. Gah. Anyways, tonight was okay I guess. I don't know if I have good friends. I mean good to me, yes but good as in what they do is good. Because me, I'm a virgin to almost everything. I haven't drank, smoked, partied, had sex, nothing... And what do they do? Drink, smoke, and party. Have sex? Hahah no. And tonight they were talking about how they got high earlier and about going to a party and one of them I've known since middle school and it's just weird to see how people change. I don't really like change but I don't dislike it either. It's just....weird. Yeah...so I guess I have nothing to say. Oh yeah, life sucks right now. Kay that's all. G'bye.
-Me.
Yes, I realize I just posted in here, but I'm gone until Monday night, so I figured it'd be fine...
The concert is TOMORROW.
TOMORROW!
All of this tedious waiting, and it's FINALLY here.
We're driving up Saturday morning. Ohh, man. This is going to rock ass.
Oh, and Joe called me today.
Yeah. It was absolutely wonderful.
I'm in love. I swear I am. I don't care if I'm "too young."
I really think I'm in love.
He has the sexiest voice in the entire world. I love his accent.
He's so polite too. :)
It was so cute when he was talking to his dog...He's so sweet to his dog.
I'm so giddy right now.
In fact, I think I'm too giddy for my own good.
Hell, last night I was crying and trying hard not to do anything foolishly close to suiciding.
And now...I'm just sitting here....Grinning and humming to myself. Daydreaming about Joe.
Joe. Joe. Joe.
He's the only thing on my mind anymore.
I'm glad everything's alright between us.
I'm not getting the weird vibe anymore....Thank God.
Everything's going great between us.
School's out May 26th.
Can't wait for that either.
See you fuckers on Monday night. \m/
ONE day,
Brie
The concert is TOMORROW.
TOMORROW!
All of this tedious waiting, and it's FINALLY here.
We're driving up Saturday morning. Ohh, man. This is going to rock ass.
Oh, and Joe called me today.
Yeah. It was absolutely wonderful.
I'm in love. I swear I am. I don't care if I'm "too young."
I really think I'm in love.
He has the sexiest voice in the entire world. I love his accent.
He's so polite too. :)
It was so cute when he was talking to his dog...He's so sweet to his dog.
I'm so giddy right now.
In fact, I think I'm too giddy for my own good.
Hell, last night I was crying and trying hard not to do anything foolishly close to suiciding.
And now...I'm just sitting here....Grinning and humming to myself. Daydreaming about Joe.
Joe. Joe. Joe.
He's the only thing on my mind anymore.
I'm glad everything's alright between us.
I'm not getting the weird vibe anymore....Thank God.
Everything's going great between us.
School's out May 26th.
Can't wait for that either.
See you fuckers on Monday night. \m/
ONE day,
Brie
Dear CB,
I don't know how i'm supposed to feel about yesterday. Its was okay, we were all admitting our feelings and talking like mature people for once. It was awkward i must admit, but i got over it. ____ gave me a piggy-bank, it was so funny. He kept on spinning and then started to run real fast, I thought i'd fall flat on my face
_____ and _____ were all talking about the difference between white girls vaginas and black girls vaginas, and I was just like "Uh?" and walked away...haha. Maybe I was a little offended I don't know 
Anyway, I think that _______ told ______ that I had feelings for him? or someone else, because when i walked up to them, she was like "and Tai too!!", stupid biatch. Why doesn't she ever use her head before she opens her mouth? Grrr. That's in the past anyway, so why am i dwelling on it? Oh well.
____ liked _____ I personally think that we all did at one time in our lives, I don't know why, he just had something that attracted me. I'm guessing it was his killer abs ______ was telling us all how she used to sing love songs about him. Haha, I was kinda laughing, but thought "wait, I used to do that too.." and stopped 
yeah, i know... I'm sad; what else is new? Hmm, i think that ______ still has feelings for _____; that's why she always acts like she hates him....Hmmm. Anywhoo, enough about yesterday, I'm about to go get my butt in the bath and get ready for shopping I pray that I can get my belly pierced today, without my father finding out 
Tai <3
I don't know how i'm supposed to feel about yesterday. Its was okay, we were all admitting our feelings and talking like mature people for once. It was awkward i must admit, but i got over it. ____ gave me a piggy-bank, it was so funny. He kept on spinning and then started to run real fast, I thought i'd fall flat on my face
_____ and _____ were all talking about the difference between white girls vaginas and black girls vaginas, and I was just like "Uh?" and walked away...haha. Maybe I was a little offended I don't know Anyway, I think that _______ told ______ that I had feelings for him? or someone else, because when i walked up to them, she was like "and Tai too!!", stupid biatch. Why doesn't she ever use her head before she opens her mouth? Grrr. That's in the past anyway, so why am i dwelling on it? Oh well.____ liked _____ I personally think that we all did at one time in our lives, I don't know why, he just had something that attracted me. I'm guessing it was his killer abs
______ was telling us all how she used to sing love songs about him. Haha, I was kinda laughing, but thought "wait, I used to do that too.." and stopped yeah, i know... I'm sad; what else is new? Hmm, i think that ______ still has feelings for _____; that's why she always acts like she hates him....Hmmm. Anywhoo, enough about yesterday, I'm about to go get my butt in the bath and get ready for shopping I pray that I can get my belly pierced today, without my father finding out Tai <3
dear cB diary..
I feel so hurt..The words get a life is echoing in my head..I never thought he would say that..I guess right now would be a good time to let go..I know that the more I hold on, the more im hurting myself..sigh..
argh..i have so much stuff to do..i need to find 4 more ppl for the seating arrangement..the dance is coming up..i want to ask **** out but i doubt i will..thinking about it, i probably will get rejected..he probably goes for pretty girls..sigh..
today was i guess a good day..
good night everyone..
-Nancy-
I feel so hurt..The words get a life is echoing in my head..I never thought he would say that..I guess right now would be a good time to let go..I know that the more I hold on, the more im hurting myself..sigh..
argh..i have so much stuff to do..i need to find 4 more ppl for the seating arrangement..the dance is coming up..i want to ask **** out but i doubt i will..thinking about it, i probably will get rejected..he probably goes for pretty girls..sigh..
today was i guess a good day..
good night everyone..
-Nancy-
dear cBd,
The guy I like is an alcoholic. He's only 15. Damn this all. I asked if I could go out drinking with him - I'm the same age as he is! - and he said no. He didn't want me to do the same shit that he's done. That I'd be too far gone. Well, damn that.
Why do I always choose the bad guys?
The guy I like is an alcoholic. He's only 15. Damn this all. I asked if I could go out drinking with him - I'm the same age as he is! - and he said no. He didn't want me to do the same shit that he's done. That I'd be too far gone. Well, damn that.
Why do I always choose the bad guys?
Dear CB Diary ,
Guys suck , period. Why go through all the trouble of being in a relationship when you know its going to hurt you even more in the end.
Funny thing is , I dont give a fck. I Guess im used to break-ups. Ive had to many to not be used too it.
AND WTF stop driving me CRAZY! NO! we cannot get back together and NO! we will not talk about it.
You make me sick.
Guys suck , period. Why go through all the trouble of being in a relationship when you know its going to hurt you even more in the end.
Funny thing is , I dont give a fck. I Guess im used to break-ups. Ive had to many to not be used too it.
AND WTF stop driving me CRAZY! NO! we cannot get back together and NO! we will not talk about it.
You make me sick.
dear cB diary;
thank god it's spring break
school is so damned boring. i hate it.
die die die
today i'm going to my friends house ^^ and we're going to watch yakitate japan!
i hate xanga. i quit.
no, maybe not quit
just no entries for the moment
sincerely me
thank god it's spring break
school is so damned boring. i hate it.
die die die
today i'm going to my friends house ^^ and we're going to watch yakitate japan!
i hate xanga. i quit.
no, maybe not quit
just no entries for the moment
sincerely me
dear cb diary,
i'm back again. as usual. the retreat was absolutely amazing...so much better than i thought. i had time to bond with people with such long talks that were just lovely. i opened up a bit more, but still not completely. the only bad part really, was on the way home on the bus...there was so much dust on that road with the bus in front of us and the windows were open so my throat began to close up and i couldn't breathe. i was so scared. scared the shit out of everyone else too, mind you it showed me that they did care. adrian came off the bus with me on to the other, emptier one. i was so grateful he was there, i don't know what i would have done otherwise. thank you so much. he took care of me so well. he looked so scared too.
but yeah i was on the phone later that night with mark...i swear to god, he doesn't seem to care anymore at all. i told him about my breathing incident and he was just like "oh really? okay." like what the hell!? everyone else freaked out, you'd think he'd be the one to freak out the most. then he's like "oh yeah i can't talk tonight, i have to go." and i replied in a rather mad tone of voice and usually if that happens, he'll recognize it and ask me about it. no, not this time. he just goes on saying i love you and goodbye. i swear, it sounds like he's saying it out of obligation. i don't know anymore....
my heart is being torn in two.
i'm back again. as usual. the retreat was absolutely amazing...so much better than i thought. i had time to bond with people with such long talks that were just lovely. i opened up a bit more, but still not completely. the only bad part really, was on the way home on the bus...there was so much dust on that road with the bus in front of us and the windows were open so my throat began to close up and i couldn't breathe. i was so scared. scared the shit out of everyone else too, mind you it showed me that they did care. adrian came off the bus with me on to the other, emptier one. i was so grateful he was there, i don't know what i would have done otherwise. thank you so much. he took care of me so well. he looked so scared too.
but yeah i was on the phone later that night with mark...i swear to god, he doesn't seem to care anymore at all. i told him about my breathing incident and he was just like "oh really? okay." like what the hell!? everyone else freaked out, you'd think he'd be the one to freak out the most. then he's like "oh yeah i can't talk tonight, i have to go." and i replied in a rather mad tone of voice and usually if that happens, he'll recognize it and ask me about it. no, not this time. he just goes on saying i love you and goodbye. i swear, it sounds like he's saying it out of obligation. i don't know anymore....
my heart is being torn in two.
Dear cB diary,
My vacation has been going good. No complaints. I'm kind've glad that you went to Florida. At first, I was thinking to myself "I have no one to talk to online every morning." But we wouldn't talk about anything meaningful. We would talk about the stupid things and talk about doing stuff, but never actually do it. I guess I actually did stuff and talked on the phone with Steph. Is she just a substitute? I don't know, maybe not. But I don't know, it feel as if I can actually talk to her while you are not really my friend but merely a girl that is just there to talk about their day with. We're not best friends, or at least you don't think so. We're going to slowly drift apart and one day we're never even going to talk to each other. Hell, we barely do now. At least this week, compared to the other weeks of vacation, I actually did something. I'm glad that I didn't sit home and mope while you were having fun. Sometimes, I really hope we will become friends and forget about what happened. And I hope you have some huge fight with her, because you know how much it bothers me that you are friends with her. I thought I was okay yesterday, but you signed on and I saw your profile and it was just </3. I was actually happy, and I saw your profile and it was like old times where I would wait for you, but you are never going to come back. I know that, but I can't do anything about it and I don't think I'm going to get over it. I know we're not friends, maybe that's why whenever I'm in your profile, it never says "bffl" at the end like you do to others. I'm hurt.
-jenny
My vacation has been going good. No complaints. I'm kind've glad that you went to Florida. At first, I was thinking to myself "I have no one to talk to online every morning." But we wouldn't talk about anything meaningful. We would talk about the stupid things and talk about doing stuff, but never actually do it. I guess I actually did stuff and talked on the phone with Steph. Is she just a substitute? I don't know, maybe not. But I don't know, it feel as if I can actually talk to her while you are not really my friend but merely a girl that is just there to talk about their day with. We're not best friends, or at least you don't think so. We're going to slowly drift apart and one day we're never even going to talk to each other. Hell, we barely do now. At least this week, compared to the other weeks of vacation, I actually did something. I'm glad that I didn't sit home and mope while you were having fun. Sometimes, I really hope we will become friends and forget about what happened. And I hope you have some huge fight with her, because you know how much it bothers me that you are friends with her. I thought I was okay yesterday, but you signed on and I saw your profile and it was just </3. I was actually happy, and I saw your profile and it was like old times where I would wait for you, but you are never going to come back. I know that, but I can't do anything about it and I don't think I'm going to get over it. I know we're not friends, maybe that's why whenever I'm in your profile, it never says "bffl" at the end like you do to others. I'm hurt.
-jenny
Dear Createblog Diary,
wow. that is all i have to say after last night. there were at least 100 people here! there were people here that didn't even go to martin! and i also got drunk. DRUNK!!! i didn't think i was going to actually go that far but i just kept on drinking those margaritas. i had about 5 glasses of margarita mix. i just can't believe how much fun it was. whoever didn't come missed the party of the year! and guess what else happened, edwin got drunk, too! he was soooo funny. i know he was drunk because he smoked his first cigarette! let's just say, it was an interesting night!
--Frankie
wow. that is all i have to say after last night. there were at least 100 people here! there were people here that didn't even go to martin! and i also got drunk. DRUNK!!! i didn't think i was going to actually go that far but i just kept on drinking those margaritas. i had about 5 glasses of margarita mix. i just can't believe how much fun it was. whoever didn't come missed the party of the year! and guess what else happened, edwin got drunk, too! he was soooo funny. i know he was drunk because he smoked his first cigarette! let's just say, it was an interesting night!
--Frankie
Dear cB Diary,
I've been surprisingly happy despite what's going on around me. I'm in danger of failing Social Studies and things of that sort, but hell, I'm pretty damn happy. I think about him a lot. I really like him. He's the greatest and just thinking about his dorky smile makes me giggle. A certain friend of mine is a total hypocrite and I hate it. Woodrow Wilson is surely filled with a lot of assholes. But whatever. I feel happy and that's all that matters. Of course, I wish he hadn't gone to SC. It's only been 2 days. I still have to wait another 3 days until I can see him. I actually want to go back to school. I miss him..
I went to Trenton this afternoon. it was actually quite depressing. Trenton isn't exactly a lovely place. It's actually pretty run down. It made me sad to think that people are forced to live there. I saw two homeless people on my way there and i felt utterly sympathetic.
It makes me mad that some people do things just to get sympathey. But what makes me more mad is when it works. Why is it that now, I'm suddenly a bad person? I am a good person. Sure, I have my flaws, but i try to be good. She's spreading the sickest lies about me and it's upsetting. My own friends are questioning me. It's really unfair. I hate it. She dislikes me for no reason. I can't help it that I fell for him. I can't help it that he likes me. It's not as if she's still infatuated with him. But then why does she spread rumors like this and make up lies about me? Why does my personal life even concern her? We aren't even friends anymore. I only wanted to know why she hated me so much and all of a sudden she can only answer this by bringing up my past relationships? I lost a friend because of her because she makes me out to be an apparent ho. It's so unfair. My own friends questioning me. It honestly makes me want to cry. I guess I just have to deal with it, though.
As long as I have him, I'll be okay, though. He's the bestestestestestest.
sincerely,
sandy-dandy
I've been surprisingly happy despite what's going on around me. I'm in danger of failing Social Studies and things of that sort, but hell, I'm pretty damn happy. I think about him a lot. I really like him. He's the greatest and just thinking about his dorky smile makes me giggle. A certain friend of mine is a total hypocrite and I hate it. Woodrow Wilson is surely filled with a lot of assholes. But whatever. I feel happy and that's all that matters. Of course, I wish he hadn't gone to SC. It's only been 2 days. I still have to wait another 3 days until I can see him. I actually want to go back to school. I miss him..
I went to Trenton this afternoon. it was actually quite depressing. Trenton isn't exactly a lovely place. It's actually pretty run down. It made me sad to think that people are forced to live there. I saw two homeless people on my way there and i felt utterly sympathetic.
It makes me mad that some people do things just to get sympathey. But what makes me more mad is when it works. Why is it that now, I'm suddenly a bad person? I am a good person. Sure, I have my flaws, but i try to be good. She's spreading the sickest lies about me and it's upsetting. My own friends are questioning me. It's really unfair. I hate it. She dislikes me for no reason. I can't help it that I fell for him. I can't help it that he likes me. It's not as if she's still infatuated with him. But then why does she spread rumors like this and make up lies about me? Why does my personal life even concern her? We aren't even friends anymore. I only wanted to know why she hated me so much and all of a sudden she can only answer this by bringing up my past relationships? I lost a friend because of her because she makes me out to be an apparent ho. It's so unfair. My own friends questioning me. It honestly makes me want to cry. I guess I just have to deal with it, though.
As long as I have him, I'll be okay, though. He's the bestestestestestest.
sincerely,
sandy-dandy
Dear createblog diary,
We're only a month away. One month.
I've hated this place ever since I came here. It's good to know that I just have to suffer one more month and then get out. I'll probably get all teary-eyed ( I know that's contradicting) just because of it. Tears of joy? I hope so. Andy's going to Northview/Chattahoochee. He's so lucky. I'll miss that kid.
That reminds me. Jenny's leaving too. I just got to know her, and now she's going to be gone. Okay, she's only leaving for China to study. But Evelyn said that if she likes it over there, she can stay for a year. A YEAR. That's way too long. And I know she'll love it there....there's too much bs happening to her over here. Meeehh.
I WANT SUMMER.
We're only a month away. One month.
I've hated this place ever since I came here. It's good to know that I just have to suffer one more month and then get out. I'll probably get all teary-eyed ( I know that's contradicting) just because of it. Tears of joy? I hope so. Andy's going to Northview/Chattahoochee. He's so lucky. I'll miss that kid.
That reminds me. Jenny's leaving too. I just got to know her, and now she's going to be gone. Okay, she's only leaving for China to study. But Evelyn said that if she likes it over there, she can stay for a year. A YEAR. That's way too long. And I know she'll love it there....there's too much bs happening to her over here. Meeehh.
I WANT SUMMER.
Dear CB,
Well my school semester is coming to a close. I have a extra credit paper to do tommorrow but it should be pretty easy because it pertains to science and i love science. i need to get brainstorming on a media project have to do for my southern woman class this upcoming week
Also, I have a new car, well not exactly new and its not exactly mine yet. I have a few things I have to do before it can be mine and I can hardly wait.
Well my school semester is coming to a close. I have a extra credit paper to do tommorrow but it should be pretty easy because it pertains to science and i love science. i need to get brainstorming on a media project have to do for my southern woman class this upcoming week
Also, I have a new car, well not exactly new and its not exactly mine yet. I have a few things I have to do before it can be mine and I can hardly wait.
dear createBlog diary,
i'm not sure why i'm writing but i don't know...it's like i thought i hade life figured out, or at least had an outline but so many things freak me out...what if johnny's plan falls through...? i wouldn't mind working a 9-5 job, as long as it puts money in the bank and provides us with food and a place to stay...but johnny wouldn't want me to work...
i'm afraid of being pregnant...i might be but i'm not sure...the condom may have leaked...i did the math, if i really am, i'll give birth before my 18th birthday. we're supposed to get up and go when i'm 18 because by then he'll be 18 too. this will mess everything up, i pray to god i am not pregnant, i would never want to have a child out of wedlock...and have our future ripped away from us. lord knows i'd love to bear johnny's children but just not now...
i regret quitting piano so many years ago...i know you shouldn't regret whatever you did because that makes you who you are, but i don't think that applies here. in music class, i appreciate the piano more...i wish i still had one all for myself...the piano is such a beautiful instrument...
who am i anymore? i thought i was growing up but after all this, i'm back to who i was 7 years ago...a confused little girl...i hate how everything is so complicated
i love johnny, he's so sweet to me i love him so much. things in our relationship seem to be looking up, heh our 1 year anniversary is 100 days from now...and i'm freaking out...i don't know what to get him or what to wear. i've had a dress i planned to wear on our anniversary but i'm having second thoughts on it... i have an idea of what to give johnny but i don't know...blah why can't our anniversary be a month away, i work better under pressure when people aren't depending on me
ha, i thought of a new confession, i love that paris hilton song...i wish i could find a better version of it
back to tahoma i go...i try to evolve but i always return to my roots
much love,
M.L. x3
i'm not sure why i'm writing but i don't know...it's like i thought i hade life figured out, or at least had an outline but so many things freak me out...what if johnny's plan falls through...? i wouldn't mind working a 9-5 job, as long as it puts money in the bank and provides us with food and a place to stay...but johnny wouldn't want me to work...
i'm afraid of being pregnant...i might be but i'm not sure...the condom may have leaked...i did the math, if i really am, i'll give birth before my 18th birthday. we're supposed to get up and go when i'm 18 because by then he'll be 18 too. this will mess everything up, i pray to god i am not pregnant, i would never want to have a child out of wedlock...and have our future ripped away from us. lord knows i'd love to bear johnny's children but just not now...
i regret quitting piano so many years ago...i know you shouldn't regret whatever you did because that makes you who you are, but i don't think that applies here. in music class, i appreciate the piano more...i wish i still had one all for myself...the piano is such a beautiful instrument...
who am i anymore? i thought i was growing up but after all this, i'm back to who i was 7 years ago...a confused little girl...i hate how everything is so complicated
i love johnny, he's so sweet to me i love him so much. things in our relationship seem to be looking up, heh our 1 year anniversary is 100 days from now...and i'm freaking out...i don't know what to get him or what to wear. i've had a dress i planned to wear on our anniversary but i'm having second thoughts on it...
i have an idea of what to give johnny but i don't know...blah why can't our anniversary be a month away, i work better under pressure when people aren't depending on meha, i thought of a new confession, i love that paris hilton song...i wish i could find a better version of it
back to tahoma i go...i try to evolve but i always return to my roots
much love,
M.L. x3
dear cb diary,
today was a good day, except for when i came home and the fact i'm losing my voice and we're leaving for whistler on thursday for a music festival and i'm singing in choir....bleh.
parents suck. i'll leave it at that for now.
and yeah. i miss him. weird. eh. nothing more i can do. i've finally admitted some shit to myself and in an indirect way to him too.
we'll see what happens.
life can be so great yet shitty all at once. its stupid.
today was a good day, except for when i came home and the fact i'm losing my voice and we're leaving for whistler on thursday for a music festival and i'm singing in choir....bleh.
parents suck. i'll leave it at that for now.
and yeah. i miss him. weird. eh. nothing more i can do. i've finally admitted some shit to myself and in an indirect way to him too.
we'll see what happens.
life can be so great yet shitty all at once. its stupid.
dear cB diary..
had a bad day..kind of had moments when i wanted to kill myself..
tomorrow is the beach clean up..hurray!lol..
i cant believe **** admitted liking me..i never knew he liked me..i was so shocked..lol..
i dont c anything good about me..i look ugly and all..i wonder what it is that others c in me...
thats it..
good night everyone!
)(nancy)(
had a bad day..kind of had moments when i wanted to kill myself..
tomorrow is the beach clean up..hurray!lol..
i cant believe **** admitted liking me..i never knew he liked me..i was so shocked..lol..
i dont c anything good about me..i look ugly and all..i wonder what it is that others c in me...
thats it..
good night everyone!
)(nancy)(
Dear createblog diary,
I wish I were older. I hate the people that are my age. I don't fit with them.
I wish I were older. I hate the people that are my age. I don't fit with them.
QUOTE(jooleeah @ Apr 24 2005, 4:09 PM)
Dear createblog diary,
I wish I were older. I hate the people that are my age. I don't fit with them.
I wish I were older. I hate the people that are my age. I don't fit with them.
I know the feeling, I felt that way sometimes when i was younger.
Dear CB,
Man I cant wait til have my car. 7 days...the countdown begins until I am driving again.
In other news, I really am going to be seriously thinking about moving off campus next year, its just too expensive and actually less expensive (by almost 200 bucks) to stay off campus. Meh...staying on campus is convientent though. I just wake up and walk to class, so I dont know..
dear cb diary,
here i am yet again. still confused as ever...i keep on thinking its resolved but then it just gets all...confusing again. something tells me this is going to go on for awhile...sigh.
there's nothing much more i can really do, since things are still all so uncertain. i have certain feelings/hunches about things, but one can't be really sure unless one asks and one like myself is much too frightened to do so.
on the other hand, i'm leaving for whistler on thursday for this music festival thing and my voice is seriously gone...i can't talk. well i can but i sound ridiculous...i know for sure i can't sing. i tried...its not happening. looks like i'm gonna be lip-synching with everyone unless i'm miraculously better soon.
this is ridiculous.
i miss him.
and you know whats sad?
i'm not sure who that's directed to anymore.
here i am yet again. still confused as ever...i keep on thinking its resolved but then it just gets all...confusing again. something tells me this is going to go on for awhile...sigh.
there's nothing much more i can really do, since things are still all so uncertain. i have certain feelings/hunches about things, but one can't be really sure unless one asks and one like myself is much too frightened to do so.
on the other hand, i'm leaving for whistler on thursday for this music festival thing and my voice is seriously gone...i can't talk. well i can but i sound ridiculous...i know for sure i can't sing. i tried...its not happening. looks like i'm gonna be lip-synching with everyone unless i'm miraculously better soon.
this is ridiculous.
i miss him.
and you know whats sad?
i'm not sure who that's directed to anymore.
dear cb diary,
on friday there was this motivational speaker dude that came to our school. it was kind of a really cool assembly. the guy, scott greenberg or whatever, was a cancer surviver. he said all this stuff about deciding how to handle your problems. are you gonna sit there and be affected by it, or do something about it? it was really sad when scott said that since he was a jew, people would make fun of him all the time when he was little. HEY JEW BOY! and then he told us that his grandmother's parents were taken by the nazis one day, and she never saw them again. and one month later, they came for her. really, really sad. this scott guy has really gone through too much in his life, it's unbelievable. it didn't motivate me at all though, because most things he said were pretty obvious. but yeah.
lol, i want to like someone. honestly, i do. yeah i know, youll feel free and whatnot without a guy, but it's so boring without one i can't believe josh likes me though. it's realy .. wrong. and kind of sick. i don't wanna be shallow or anything, but yeah.
on friday there was this motivational speaker dude that came to our school. it was kind of a really cool assembly. the guy, scott greenberg or whatever, was a cancer surviver. he said all this stuff about deciding how to handle your problems. are you gonna sit there and be affected by it, or do something about it? it was really sad when scott said that since he was a jew, people would make fun of him all the time when he was little. HEY JEW BOY! and then he told us that his grandmother's parents were taken by the nazis one day, and she never saw them again. and one month later, they came for her. really, really sad. this scott guy has really gone through too much in his life, it's unbelievable. it didn't motivate me at all though, because most things he said were pretty obvious. but yeah.
lol, i want to like someone. honestly, i do. yeah i know, youll feel free and whatnot without a guy, but it's so boring without one
i can't believe josh likes me though. it's realy .. wrong. and kind of sick. i don't wanna be shallow or anything, but yeah.
Dear cB Diary,
Again the past few days made me acknowledge change. I'm really not liking it right now. I don't want things to change. Yeah, I want to grow up therefore change but the more and more I think about it, I don't want to. I want things to stay the same. Why can't they stay the same? Why do people have to leave? Why do people have to change?... I don't even know why I'm asking why. I know why things have to change. I know why people have to change. I know this. But I don't want it to happen. I want to write more but I won't. Bye.
-Me.
Again the past few days made me acknowledge change. I'm really not liking it right now. I don't want things to change. Yeah, I want to grow up therefore change but the more and more I think about it, I don't want to. I want things to stay the same. Why can't they stay the same? Why do people have to leave? Why do people have to change?... I don't even know why I'm asking why. I know why things have to change. I know why people have to change. I know this. But I don't want it to happen. I want to write more but I won't. Bye.
-Me.
Dear cB diary,
I f**king hate Sundays. Just because they're Sundays. Nothing bad really happened today. The party yesterday was fun. Sin City was okay. I took some pictures today. Now I am bored. I don't wanna go back to school. =(((((((
--Cheryl
I f**king hate Sundays. Just because they're Sundays. Nothing bad really happened today. The party yesterday was fun. Sin City was okay. I took some pictures today. Now I am bored. I don't wanna go back to school. =(((((((
--Cheryl
QUOTE(sharerol @ Apr 24 2005, 7:52 PM)
Dear cB diary,
I f**king hate Sundays. Just because they're Sundays. Nothing bad really happened today. The party yesterday was fun. Sin City was okay. I took some pictures today. Now I am bored. I don't wanna go back to school. =(((((((
--Cheryl
I f**king hate Sundays. Just because they're Sundays. Nothing bad really happened today. The party yesterday was fun. Sin City was okay. I took some pictures today. Now I am bored. I don't wanna go back to school. =(((((((
--Cheryl
Sin City?
Dear cb Diary,
damn. It's a sunday. Tomorrow will be living hell.
First day of school. Man, I really dont want to go. My arm's still sore from the shot. I really dont wanna go!-Toby.
QUOTE(Spiritedfreak @ Apr 24 2005, 6:58 PM)
Sin City?
Dear cb Diary,
damn. It's a sunday. Tomorrow will be living hell. First day of school. Man, I really dont want to go. My arm's still sore from the shot. I really dont wanna go!
-Toby.
Dear cb Diary,
damn. It's a sunday. Tomorrow will be living hell.
First day of school. Man, I really dont want to go. My arm's still sore from the shot. I really dont wanna go!-Toby.
Yes. Sin City, the movie.
Hope you have fun at school, by the way.
dear cb diary,
i am in here way too often but i can't help it...i keep on thinking of things to say that i don't wanna say on my own xanga so yeah...i come here instead.
i just realized how oddly grateful i am for that incident on the bus ride home on friday...on the way home from the retreat i had that problem when i couldn't breathe...yeah it scared the shit out of me, but apparently it scared the shit out of a couple others, which in an odd way showed me how much they really cared...then he got to take care of me. he was the first to stand up and help me off the bus to get some fresh air. he held my hand and held me close and whispered that things would be alright. he helped me on to the other bus and kept a tight hold of me to make sure i'm okay. he let me sleep on his shoulder. he helped me carry my stuff afterwards and everything too once we arrived back at school. finally when i had to leave for home, he hugged me close and kissed me on the top of my head.
i've never felt so safe and loved.
i am in here way too often but i can't help it...i keep on thinking of things to say that i don't wanna say on my own xanga so yeah...i come here instead.
i just realized how oddly grateful i am for that incident on the bus ride home on friday...on the way home from the retreat i had that problem when i couldn't breathe...yeah it scared the shit out of me, but apparently it scared the shit out of a couple others, which in an odd way showed me how much they really cared...then he got to take care of me. he was the first to stand up and help me off the bus to get some fresh air. he held my hand and held me close and whispered that things would be alright. he helped me on to the other bus and kept a tight hold of me to make sure i'm okay. he let me sleep on his shoulder. he helped me carry my stuff afterwards and everything too once we arrived back at school. finally when i had to leave for home, he hugged me close and kissed me on the top of my head.
i've never felt so safe and loved.
dear createBlog diary,
wow, i might as well kill some time here...i'm so nervous about this mod stuff...i'm afraid that only the popular people will be chosen...heh no one has rooted for me, that comes as a small surprise...but then again not really that small
i wish that this girl will just open up her eyes...the one is right in front of her face but she doesn't want to see it. i've been through things like that with my boyfriend before we were going out, i didn't relaly notice unti like a month or two that johnny is the one for me... i just wish she would see him the way she's supposed to, such a sweet girl should have a sweet man to tend to her
hehe, it's like a dream of mine has finally come true, i get to lounge around and watch movies with my boyfriend all day at his place
the first time i ever did that with anyone was on my birthday a few months ago, it was so great, we had an indoor picnic, just the two of us he remembered that i wanted to go on a picnic, but central park had all that stupid, nasty orange sh*t all over the place...it was supposed to be "art" ...i call it a huge waste of f*cking money, f*cking governor/mayor/whoever spending millions on a tourist trap rather than our schools 
i really hope i'm not pregnant...i think my breasts may have become bigger, that made me so happy but then it hit me...it's a sign of pregnancy...maybe i'm just paranoid...i really hope i am paranoid. i'm supposed to be getting my period really soon...i hope i'm not pregnant...
geez, everytime i write in here the entry is so long...aiy. i wish there were more hours in a day...i never have time to myself anymore...i haven't cleaned my room in weeks, maybe a month...nor have i organized my jewelry like i vowed to...i have my earrings and necklaces everywhere...i am such a mess now
oh well...god i'm sweating more than i usually do because i'm so nervous about this createBlog moderator thing...i don't know why but i want the job so bad...
much love,
M.L. x3
wow, i might as well kill some time here...i'm so nervous about this mod stuff...i'm afraid that only the popular people will be chosen...heh no one has rooted for me, that comes as a small surprise...but then again not really that small
i wish that this girl will just open up her eyes...the one is right in front of her face but she doesn't want to see it. i've been through things like that with my boyfriend before we were going out, i didn't relaly notice unti like a month or two that johnny is the one for me... i just wish she would see him the way she's supposed to, such a sweet girl should have a sweet man to tend to her
hehe, it's like a dream of mine has finally come true, i get to lounge around and watch movies with my boyfriend all day at his place
the first time i ever did that with anyone was on my birthday a few months ago, it was so great, we had an indoor picnic, just the two of us he remembered that i wanted to go on a picnic, but central park had all that stupid, nasty orange sh*t all over the place...it was supposed to be "art" ...i call it a huge waste of f*cking money, f*cking governor/mayor/whoever spending millions on a tourist trap rather than our schools i really hope i'm not pregnant...i think my breasts may have become bigger, that made me so happy but then it hit me...it's a sign of pregnancy...maybe i'm just paranoid...i really hope i am paranoid. i'm supposed to be getting my period really soon...i hope i'm not pregnant...
geez, everytime i write in here the entry is so long...aiy. i wish there were more hours in a day...i never have time to myself anymore...i haven't cleaned my room in weeks, maybe a month...nor have i organized my jewelry like i vowed to...i have my earrings and necklaces everywhere...i am such a mess now
oh well...god i'm sweating more than i usually do because i'm so nervous about this createBlog moderator thing...i don't know why but i want the job so bad...
much love,
M.L. x3
dear cB diary..
today was a ok day..much better than yesterday..
went to the beach clean up..it was ok...
still feel alone and isolated..everything i do isnt good enough for my parents..i cant do anything right...my mom kind of isnt that harsh but dad is really bad..he says i dont do anything..hes always criticizing me..gosh..
sigh..6 more weeks untill middle school is over...i dont know wheter to be happy about it or sad..im so confused...
sigh..
thats it for today..
...Nancy...
today was a ok day..much better than yesterday..
went to the beach clean up..it was ok...
still feel alone and isolated..everything i do isnt good enough for my parents..i cant do anything right...my mom kind of isnt that harsh but dad is really bad..he says i dont do anything..hes always criticizing me..gosh..
sigh..6 more weeks untill middle school is over...i dont know wheter to be happy about it or sad..im so confused...
sigh..
thats it for today..
...Nancy...
Dear createBlog Diary,
This school day has been much too long. I hate this routine. I hate school. I don't know how, but it seems that I've just sort of drifted through today. I don't remember much, just that I want to be at home, or even better, with Justin. I can't stop thinking about him. Really though, I can't. When I'm talking to people, I have to try to not bring him up because I'm probably so obnoxious about it. But I can't help it. He's so perfect. So perfect, it's almost unbelievable. I love that boy much. :D
-Me.
This school day has been much too long. I hate this routine. I hate school. I don't know how, but it seems that I've just sort of drifted through today. I don't remember much, just that I want to be at home, or even better, with Justin. I can't stop thinking about him. Really though, I can't. When I'm talking to people, I have to try to not bring him up because I'm probably so obnoxious about it. But I can't help it. He's so perfect. So perfect, it's almost unbelievable. I love that boy much. :D
-Me.
QUOTE(chii @ Apr 24 2005, 9:41 PM)
dear createBlog diary,
i really hope i'm not pregnant...i think my breasts may have become bigger, that made me so happy but then it hit me...it's a sign of pregnancy...maybe i'm just paranoid...i really hope i am paranoid. i'm supposed to be getting my period really soon...i hope i'm not pregnant...
M.L. x3
i really hope i'm not pregnant...i think my breasts may have become bigger, that made me so happy but then it hit me...it's a sign of pregnancy...maybe i'm just paranoid...i really hope i am paranoid. i'm supposed to be getting my period really soon...i hope i'm not pregnant...
M.L. x3
Why don't you get a pregnancy test?
Anyways, Dear cB Diary
I finally quit The Willows! YAY <3. I will miss a lot of people who work there tho; Jay, Diogo, Regan, Kelley, Christie...
I miss Tom. I wish he wasn't grounded. He makes me a better person, he is the sweet to my mean. I wish we were older and that we could get married. I just feel like he completes me. Meh, I guess thats what young love is.
I want it to be summer soo bad. I really want to go back to Arizona and see all my friends. I have been missing them like crazy. I feel like I have lost touch with a lot of them. I am suprised with some that I have talked to recently.
I realize how much I have changed in just 6 months. I have done a lot of things I didn't think I would. And I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad one.
Hi.
Nothing can f*cking touch me.
I'm so happy.
Last night f*cking owned.
Oh, and it's official.
I have a boyfriend.
What a lovely guy he is....He called me (literally) the second I got home.
<3333333
What a f*cking awesome weekend.
Complete review on Xanga.
Nothing can f*cking touch me.
I'm so happy.
Last night f*cking owned.
Oh, and it's official.
I have a boyfriend.
What a lovely guy he is....He called me (literally) the second I got home.
<3333333
What a f*cking awesome weekend.
Complete review on Xanga.
Dear Cb Diary,
Ello diary...today was scary. :) Some freaky short kid is stalking me and cussing me off! OH THE JOY!
Let's see, I fell on my face, OH THE JOY! Okay, today was half fun I'VE GOTTA ADMIT!
My friends crying over the same guy AGAIN! They have issues but don't work it out...bleh...teenage freakin drama.
Ello diary...today was scary. :) Some freaky short kid is stalking me and cussing me off! OH THE JOY!
Let's see, I fell on my face, OH THE JOY! Okay, today was half fun I'VE GOTTA ADMIT!
My friends crying over the same guy AGAIN! They have issues but don't work it out...bleh...teenage freakin drama.
QUOTE(xxcrazyjewxx @ Apr 25 2005, 5:42 PM)
Why don't you get a pregnancy test?
if i had the 10 bucks to spare i would...
dear createBlog diary,
i don't know where my life has gone...it's like all of a sudden i just realized that the only person i really talk to is my boyfriend, my best friend barely gives half a sh*t about what i have to say. i hate the world today...i don't know who i am anymore...i used to be that sweet, shy innocent girl. now i'm just a b*tch...
everything seems to annoy me, it's like my life has derailed except for a few train cars that are still intact.i used to be such a good girl, i used to care about school. i've already read about things about life in the real world and it has opened my eyes but for some reason it isn't hitting me. i know that when we turn 18 our money plan will probably fall through. plus minimum wage will not cut it with the skyrocking price of rent and food when we're 18. but i don't know why i just don't care...
i wish i didn't change and realize what a hole i'm in, and didn't realize what really happened between me and ________ when i was a litle girl that messed me up for life...i hate feeling sorry for myself, there are other people in the world that i know have it a lot harder than i do...my life cannot even compare to how hard it is in thrid world african countires...getting raped everyday, prostituting for cab fare fpr a trip to college, getting mutilated, god...the world is such a sh*tty place...
i know i can do something about it but i just don't, that's the cause i want to stand up for, those people who don't deserve a sh*t life, they didn't make any mistakes, they don't deserve to live in fear everyday...maybe that will drive me to try to do better in life...they can't climb out of their holes but i can...
i've wanted to grow up so bad when i was little, but now it's just like a curse, like when snow white ate that beautiful, shiny apple the witch gave her...after you take a bite out of it, you realize it was nothing you thought it was...
i love spending time with johnny, he seems to be the only one who can truly make me happy again whenever i'm bogged down in so much sh*t...i can never thank god enough for bringing johnny to me.
much love,
M.L. x3
dear cb diary,
today has been a happy, happy day. i like this feeling. i missed it quite a bit.
school was bareable, mostly. the math test was surprisingly easy, so i think i did really well. got home late due to a long choir/choreography practice, and i came onto cb as soon as i got to the computer...i was rather pleasantly surprised to see i'd been made a part of people staff. it was kinda weird how happy it made me...i was literally jumping up and down for awhile. it was nice/amusing all at once.
then tonight at dance, i found out our results for our competitions that were on thursday. my tap got 1st place, and then my hiphop did too, but that also got the 2nd highest overall in our section and we received a trophy and some money too. yay! our hard work actually paid off a bit.
my voice is coming back...i can pretty much talk and kinda sing, so i think i'll be okay in time for whistler...but aw, i have to leave cb so soon after getting my new position. ah well. it'll be a fun trip, but i'll miss some people...
today has been a happy, happy day.
i like this feeling. i missed it quite a bit.school was bareable, mostly. the math test was surprisingly easy, so i think i did really well. got home late due to a long choir/choreography practice, and i came onto cb as soon as i got to the computer...i was rather pleasantly surprised to see i'd been made a part of people staff. it was kinda weird how happy it made me...i was literally jumping up and down for awhile. it was nice/amusing all at once.
then tonight at dance, i found out our results for our competitions that were on thursday. my tap got 1st place, and then my hiphop did too, but that also got the 2nd highest overall in our section and we received a trophy and some money too.
yay! our hard work actually paid off a bit. my voice is coming back...i can pretty much talk and kinda sing, so i think i'll be okay in time for whistler...but aw, i have to leave cb so soon after getting my new position.
ah well. it'll be a fun trip, but i'll miss some people...
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