Here are some really funny stories.


A guy went to heaven. St. Peter greeted him and took him to the waiting room and said 'Please wait here until I return' and he left. As the guy waited, he noticed the walls were covered with clocks. Some were ticking really slow, others really fast. They were all different. When St. Peter came back he asked him about the clocks. He replied "Oh, if your a good person,"said St. Peter,"then your clock goes slow. If you're a bad person, your clock goes fast."
"Oh," the guy said," Then where's my clock?" " It's not here, it's in Gods's room, God uses your clock as his personal fan." replied St. Peter.



One day two guys were playing pool. One guy was aiming for a certain ball but hit another. " d*mn oh f*ck I missed!" he swore. "Don't swear!"his friend told him,"God doesn't like it." On his next turn, the guy hit the wrong ball again."d*mn oh f*ck I missed!" he swore again. "Don't!" his friend said again. On his next turn the same thing happened again."what the f*ck I missed, sh!t!" he swore. Suddenly they heard thunder and a bolt of lightning struck the guy who had been saying not to swear and killed him. Just then God's voice said"d*mn oh f*ck I missed!"


By the please leave posts if you can. Thankz!

They're both funny. But I like the first one.

thankz!

lmao, funny!!

lol the first one I didn't get until I read it all over again. I like the first one.

i still dotn get the first one lols

on the first one the guy's so evil his clock is like a fan 'cause if your evil, your clock goes fast.

i liked the first one!

first one was better.... i thot the 2nd one.........was a bad funny joke......... i dont think God won't like it either........... and it's not funny either

i don't really get the first one
eh don't mind me i'm just stupid

i don't like the 2nd one that much too but thats the way i heard it so thats how i wrote it.

haha i like the first one the best. lOL! hilarious...thanks for sharing that.

jackie

I liked the first one better tee hee I understood the first one though.

Ha ha.

ooo hahhaha i get it

The 2nd one was funny, but i don't get the first one (ok nevermind, i do now, but kinda late)

OK here goes. When Ryan was 16-17 he was dating a chick that's father was over protective. One day after school he gave her a ride home. She asked him in, so of course being the typical horny freak that he was, he accepted. After about thirty minutes of begging her to let him try a few things with her she finally gave in. They quickly headed up to her bedroom, where they started making out.

Things where getting really hot, this girl just knew what she was doing. She had him breathing hard and almost ready to lose his load with out taking his clothes off. When he started to undress her she said "No I want to see you first." Of course being so secure in himself he said ok and quickly disrobed. For some reason she started laughing at him. She claimed, " Oh its just that your, well ummm.... your d1ck it is so small. I have never seen anything so pathetic." he was like, " What the f**k would you know about dick size?" She quickly responded, "Well mines bigger." Ryan was like, "What?!?! you have a dick!?" Now everyone here knows that Ryan's not gay, but this was just to freaky. He just had to see what she was talking about.He had heard of chicks with dicks before but he hadn't ever seen one. She was a bit shy at first but she decided to show him. She took off her skirt and what he saw...well you know what he saw... Luckily at this time he heard her fathers car pulling into the driveway. "You've got to leave if he catches you here he will kill you," she said. He was frightened, he didn't know what to do. Ryan had the choice between her father killing him or staring at her huge member. After about 2 minutes of staring at it he ran and jumped out the window falling 20 feet and landing in some rose bushes naked. He had thorns sticking out of everywhere, and I mean everywhere. What was worse was a couple of days later in school. A couple of his friends had heard about my experience and where all picking on me about the thorns and where they had stuck him. This he could cope with, what he couldn't cope with was his girlfriend being a shemale.. He tried avoiding her but she started stalking him and leaving notes in his locker. All of them said the same thing, "What you don't like the cock?" His response was "it's only gay if you like it". He continued dating the shemale for about another 3 months but just couldn't cope with the anal sex and misery of having liquid farts afterwards. And then 1 night he dumped her...

True story... I'm sorry..But that's just sick...

haha those first two storys were funni but the one ^ dere waz jus nasty.

i didn't write the 3rd one ppl

First and second are funny. Third is nasty.

Yeah I agree- and I didn't get the first one at first.

I thought the third one was funny...

haha, funny!

Hahaha...

But the one the DarkSoul posted is eww...

lol. those are really funny!

ew man! liquidfarts? ewwww!!

HAHA the first one is hilarious@!! good job posting it, it made my day