Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: good rap i made up
Forums > Community Center > Academia > Writing
Statistik
yo
your too wack to compete
your damn lyrics aint even complete
my rap game is neat
so go ahead and take a seat
watch my show
y'all gonna feel me when i feel da flow
dont make my minds blow
im here to bring hip-hop
bigger than fat joe
your spits are so slow
that make me say whoa
your not in my league, your way too below
your career is 100% trash
my raps are probably quicker than the runnin of steve nash
do i make my self clear?
dont make me get too high for you, queer
this is my year
some people hatin on me
cuz my raps include racism
and dont worry
this will be no more plagiarism
this is the end of all
go ahead sent this to yo friend
dont piss me off again or ill start a brawl
worse than the pacers and ron artest
i hope you dont get too stressed, god ill be blessed
basick
that was horrible
basick as hell and just horrible.
try to say it out loud, it has no flow whatsoever.

that was f**king grade school poetry... lol... try multi sylabble rhyming...

like you said
"wack~to~compete"
back~to~ya~feet
slapped~with~the~heat
attack~and~you'll~see


etc... see how every syllabble rhymed with its corresponding sylabble?... that makes you rhymes more complex and flow better...
funbobby
Just cut the:
'dont piss me off again or ill start a brawl'
and its alright for a kid.
miszSERENiTY
O-M-G.




You suck. And I`m not even saying that just because I don`t like oyou...you really do suck. That sounded like something someone would make up as a joke. I say you go back to stealing other peoples lyrics...you won`t sound as doo-doo dumb.
Baku
omg you suck at life <3 you suck out loud you suck so hard ive seen a vacume pick up less dirt
JC4P
jc4p says stop trying and just die. oh and you lied it was stupid
juliar
dude.

good rap?

anyway. sounds like a poem more than a rap. there's no flow whatsoever. maybe you should work on rhythm.
yummy_delight
as previously stated. NO FLOW.

i think it's terrible. too many similes/metaphors/allusions, not enough structure and your word choice isn't that intelligent. it looks like you're trying to be witty and make people go "OOOOOO HE GOT SUUUURVED!!!!" but it's just not working.

try writing some normal poetry first. then say it out loud. maybe then you'll get the idea that rhyming lines doesn't constitute work that flows easily.
HongKongDong
Man I am damned serious... why do you even try?!?!
wind&fire
i hate you jason.. you know that
JC4P
its amazing. each one of histopics turns into a member bash topic. i love this place.
wind&fire
^ no he insults people... its not my fault is i have prejiduce
jnukes
who is this rap directed to ?

"you" ..... wth ?? .. who are you talking to ??
miszSERENiTY
^^Probably Basick haha...


I hate you too Jason. Go die.
basick
QUOTE(miszSERENiTY @ Apr 5 2005, 8:10 PM)
^^Probably Basick haha...
I hate you too Jason. Go die.
*


this kid is really killing my self esteem .. i feel like pooh.gif sad.gif cause of his verbal assualts
mzkandi
*sigh* ok that was bad. i think you need to take a class or something. an after school tutor maybe....
dispn0ygonekrazy
jason jason jason tsk tsk tsk wow lol u remind me of og loc in san andreas lol (just a thought)
wind&fire
the only good thing is that you didnt copy it...
nightmare4taki
QUOTE(Jason61992 @ Apr 5 2005, 6:46 PM)
dont make my minds blow
im here to bring hip-hop
bigger than fat joe

*

This line was okay
It was not his worst rap, but you still have a lot of work to do.

QUOTE(xxcrazyjewxx @ Mar 26 2005, 2:12 PM)
hopefully jason has the common sense not rap, no NOT TO POST ever again in CB

LOL, you were wrong.
jnukes
^i'll show you what line was okay


QUOTE
                 





umm .. yea .. none ..
KissMe2408
you know what jason...i'm going to give you props because even tho everyone is hatin on you all the time on CB you still stick around and post up ur raps and all and express urself. It doesn't matter really how good you are at writing or whatever, it takes alot to express urself and to post it up so everyone can read and all, even tho you get trash on it. lol nice title too, "good rap i made up, not racist, not stupid, not copied" lol. yikes..here was the best part of ur rap,
"some people hatin on me
cuz my raps include racism
and dont worry
this will be no more plagiarism"

You shouldn't let people step on you so much here.
xquizit
wacko.gif wow, you're just as good as your idol, 50 cent. VERY elementary. but at least 50 could flow.
demolished
Wow you must be one of cB's best rapper out there. HAHAHA.

The last part of the lyrics doesnt fit.
xTINAA
Man...people are just bashing on you. I wholeheartedly agree with everything KissMe2408 said. Anyways, a lot of it didn't make sense because it seemed like you focused more on making sure it rhymed than anything else. Like some of it doesn't agree, for example, when you said "make my minds blow". You have multiple minds? Maybe it was just a typo, who knows? And yeah, there is no flow whatsoever. It looks like you stuck random words and lines together and tried to make sure they rhymed. At least you didn't copy it this time.
dispn0ygonekrazy
QUOTE(KissMe2408 @ Apr 6 2005, 12:04 AM)
you know what jason...i'm going to give you props because even tho everyone is hatin on you all the time on CB you still stick around and post up ur raps and all and express urself. It doesn't matter really how good you are at writing or whatever, it takes alot to express urself and to post it up so everyone can read and all, even tho you get trash on it. lol nice title too, "good rap i made up, not racist, not stupid, not copied" lol. yikes..here was the best part of ur rap,
"some people hatin on me
cuz my raps include racism
and dont worry
this will be no more plagiarism"

You shouldn't let people step on you so much here.
*
..:loveee.NuTTii
I wonder if he reads what we say about him...I haven't seen him post back yet.
azn_r4pf4n
why's this guy even rapping... u gotta listen to what you call "sad anime songs," cuz that sounds a lot better for you than rap.
KIERYN
I HEARD THA RAP BEFOR I EVEN USED THAT IN RAP BATTLE BEFOR IT WAS POSTED HERE
ReggieM
what was it elis rap
silverbolt
^DON'T YOU DARE BRING ELI INTO THIS
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.