this is an older poem as well. i tried a different style. i don't really like it that much. it doesn't really relate much to me

Moments are many things
They are: wonderful,
life changing,
dramatic,
shocking,
breathtaking,
and sometimes great.

But some moments
ones such as this,
they are hard to accept,
are tough to get through,
and feel as though
they last for eternity.
When really it’s over
in just a few seconds.

Just a few seconds
and anything could happen.
Everything I wanted and loved
was taken from me.
Why moments like these
are happening to me,
I don’t know why.
Why you are gone
in just one moment
I cannot, will not
ever understand.

eh... its ok...

its a little too narratative for me... it doesnt hav euch rhythm (i so cannot spell that word)

i much prefer your titleless one, i thought that was really good

yeah i dont really like this one either. its just....blah

^^

i know what you mean... its not bad, its just not... good

lol im a little vague sometimes

Well. It sounds alot like a monolouge if anything (I hope I spelled that right) and alot of it does have good detail. The ending is real wonderful too.
Write more. I disagree with


It is good, it's just not a poem.

itz ok...but it didn't touch my heart...poem r suppose to made ppl think [B]n feel...so...i guess...come on! [/B]

i like it...i don't know, theres something about that i really like. nice job.

I think it's okay. I've always believe that poems are suposed to bring the reader into the author's heart. This one didn't. But it's okay...

I find this one changes scene/circumstance too quickly, flow isn't too bad though. But no matter, as long as you know what you like and don't like, is all that really matters in the end anyways

love the flow on it.