a letter i wrote..it's also in the interest/writing section..
we were going to be alright together. or at least i thought we would be. this will be the third time you will be doing this to me. making me think all the good things will happen to us..and leave me lonely and cold. why did you stop?? why did you stop calling? is it cuz you don't care anymore? or is it that you never did? becuz of you i can't seem to let my fone out of my sight and out of reach even though i already know in the very back of my mind that you won't be calling. the things you said to me...i took very seriously..i don't know if it was the game you were playing..but i wish you were being sincere with me. i don't want to say anymore to you. it's not like i didn't try calling you. i did. several times. yet you're the one that didn't pick up. why?? what did i do wrong? did i say something wrong?? was it something you didn't like? but..i don't know anymore. i'm mad at myself for not being able to move on. you left me this way. now fix it! i want you to fix me!
becuz right now..i feel like i'm a broken toy that you threw in the corner of the room.
i miss you. i still care. i still want you back and i'm waiting here for you.. can't you feel it? sense it? if you didn't care..and you were gonna do this to me..you should have never sed the five words you did say.."wrong answer..i like you" why? when i guessed that you liked me as a younger sister you should have just said yes so i wouldn't be so god damn hurt. never in my life have i felt this way. for the first time in my life i actually think you're a bastard. a jackass. and all the other bad things that guys are. you tricked me. you played me. you hurt me. and you forgot me.
either that..you still care. you still miss me. and you still want me. but you can't show it or you don't want to.
i just wish..that if there was a reason to the end of our "relationship"..i just wish you would have told me and then left. so i would have known why..and so i wouldn't be so hurt.
but becuz..this letter will never get to you. i'm make a wish for you..a wish that you would know..that one day, i'll be in front of you. and i'll make you fall for me. and leave you. leaving you wondering..why the hell i left you. cuz then..you'd know what if feels like to be left alone without a clue of why i left.
i love you. i loved you. i despise you. i hate you.
don't you ever hurt me again..becuz i've cried too many nights..to where i wont be able to cry till you're dead. even if i wanted to...i'm dried out. i brokedown and you didn't even know. i was hurt and confused and all the shit people go through when they're in pain. but after all the things i wrote in this letter..the worst thing you did..was that you never knew all of the shit you put me through, you f**ker.
but..even though i called you a f**ker...why is it that i still want you?...
damn you for making me feel this way.
i dare you to do it again.