Who are you to judge me from my artificial self
You don't even know half of the story of my life
And you don't understand what it's like to wake everyday
With nothing to hope for;nothing joyous in this lifetime
Only an imitation of the true person in the core of my disguise

My depression is asscending further than ever
Preforming for this crowd of critics;I am a puppet on a string
It's so difficult to make it through
And I'm not quite sure what to do
But I know for a supported fact that I am ugly inside like you

The souveniers of this long journey are the
Scars on my wrist and a black hole for a heart
All I want in the end is victory of our never-ending war
But this disease I have is excessive
And I will be defeated...alone

My depression is asscending further than ever
Preforming for this crowd of critics;I am a puppet on a string.
It's so difficult to make it through
And I'm not quite sure what to do
But I know for a supported fact that I am ugly inside like you

As my last thoughts and words linger in my mind
As I confide these unknown secrets with pen and paper
As this competition has finally died down
As I lie here motionless in a body whose soul was rejected
And heart broken.

well done. i like the word choice and style. good job.

Thank you

wow....i felt this way about a year ago. You really know how to capture emotions and write them down. wonderful job! This could def be a song...if you know how to write music then i suggest you writing some to accompany this! keep it up!

very well written. Descriptive with great imagery. i feel like I can relate

Wow... that was amazing. Finally, a poem that tells the reality of it all. Well there might be more but i haven't found them yet. Great job on the poem. Awesome job on the poem. I suggest you copywrite it. Lol

Thanks. ^^ I guess this is one of the only ways I know how to express myself.


It's nice to know someone else feels like I do.


I think THAT is the best compliment I have ever recieved for..well...anything! Haha. Thanks a lot!

You guys are the ones that keep my writing. I appreciate it all. ^^

it's good, but i'm kind of confused. the first verse is kind of open to anyone, but the second and third narrow it down to some kind of ex. kind of like you went off on a tangent.

and a piece of advice, if you're willing to take it: metaphores are better than similies. like this. which sounds better?

"Preforming for this crowd of critics like I'm a puppet on a string"
or
"Preforming for this crowd of critics. I am a puppet on a string"?

i personally would pick the second.

Ah. Yes, I am not very good at staying on topic. Every song I write drifts off to a certain person.....*cough* Anywho.

Yes, I do like the second one. I'll change it right now.

Haha no problem!!