Here's a song i wrote (sorry it's so long) Please tell me what you think, your comments are greatly appreciated:

You open your lungs and scream at me
and you're my new acoustic misery
you can never change what you've done
i'm gonna pull the trigger on this gun
help me
get me out
everything you say is a lie
just gonna shut the door & say goodbye
you sound like an acoustic misery
everytime you try to please me
you open your mouth & scream
and sound like a misery to me
the photography in my mind
comes out of focus when you call my name
all i see are the negatives
in black & white, that's how they came
into the photo album in my head
my judgement was impared
thinking you were dead
this delusion brought me to the conclusion
that you're my new acoustic misery
the paraphenalia scattered within the walls
of this shattered misery
that plays over in my mind
like a scratched cd
broken record
im distracted from sleep
strayed away from this deep slumber
when you call my name the misery comes
over and over
scratched cd
broken record
it's like you've left your acoustic guitar
out in the rain
like someone left behind
the sun has passed and her comes the rain again
enduring
like horses in the wind
you're my acoustic misery
the strings have broken
from your mended hands
and you've left me
you open your lungs and scream at me
and you're my new acoustic misery
you can never change what you've done
i'm gonna pull the trigger on this gun
help me
get me out
out of your misery
out

hmm i think its good =D

sounds like a sad lyric.. i liked how you mentioned the scratched cd part...hehe btw if you want to sound it like a lyric, why dont you enter few paragraphs and not scattered into a straight line heh... but nice lyric. it was good^^

that's really good!!!

thanks for your comments guys! =]

i love it!! great job

i like it when it rhymes. you are very talented. especially if you can make one that long and stay on topic! great job.

you had a good thing going with the title, acoustic misery. well i just think that maybe if you stayed with that theme. but it's art, i mean im not a fan of the picasso's blue period but that doesn't change the price. you probably should've gone with seperated stanza's and got out some synonyms. get deeper.

from 1-10 i give it a 4

Needs work.

I love the whole idea of running with acoustic misery, its really felt...ya know? heh, well I give it a 9 out of 10. Awesome job.

Aw thank you. By the way, i felt like not making it into seperate stanza's...simply because thats the way it came out on paper.

I loves it. :D

Good job! :]