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here i am. my parents are out. i'm not feeling very happy today. i crank up the music and start drinking away..my loud cry being drained out by the music. i have a rope around my neck, a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand and knife by my side. i can't decide which to use.today's my daddy's birthday. birthday. i hate birthdays. i don't really give a damn though. i kept drinking away..and the picture of my dad coming home from his birthday dinner party repeats over and over in my head...i picture him open my door and find me hanging from my ceiling vent and a knife through my body, still gripping tightly on the bottle of pills. i began to cry...i should..i should..i should..so my parents will regret leaving me home alone all the time. but..i couldn't do it. it's his birthday. he will never be able to celebrate his fukin birthday again. so i keep drinking. thinking. wishing. that i had had a gun instead.

it's good

yeah gun gives you a faster thought lol... but wait was this really your MOOD? O_O;;;;; but anyways very bloody kinda way story...heh but it's ok. it showed how you went through that process and how your feelings were in that time. danng you must have been really mad like you felt like you want to destroy everything in the house o__o;;

i cant tell if thats how u really felt or what

yea..it's how i really felt..-.- not proud that i was thinkin this way tho..T.T

Very interesting. Good job. Lol.

ya ive felt that way alot but ya i no how u feel

I get it, but it doesn't seem like you were feeling that.. even if you weren't, you still have to get the feelings through.. yah know?

I basically feel like that today.