This morning when I woke up the first thing I saw was her face, drowning in a beautiful lake of serenity, in the spot her heart was searching for. I crawled off of the mat I was lying on, and sat on the recliner from across the room, and watched.

I watched with every last inch of tenacity my enervated body possessed.

I see why he loved her. I see why she loved him. But I don't see why they aren't allowed to love each other anymore.

And it kills me. It rips my heart out, and it makes me not want it back.

Hmm...this is a very interesting poem indeed. It kind of toggles around...some things.


That line is beautiful ^. I just love the way you described her face--drowning in a beautiful lake of serenity. That's lovely. I like the contrasting viewpoints there. Although drowning has a negative connotation, you gave it a lubricious one.



This part kind of confused me. Why did she love him? Hmm...I think you can expand on that a bit. I mean, the rest is beautiful, but this kind of left me...in suspense and wonder.

Hmm...other than that, I liked it. :] Very well written.