Never Ask in Public
You don't want to make a spectacle of this. Do NOT ask the person in front of friends and bystanders! Find a time when you're both alone together. But do it face to face. Don't send messages through friends, don't leave notes. You never know what will happen if a friend conveys the wrong message, or if a note gets into the wrong hands. Don't do it over the phone, now you have to guess what those silences mean, guess what the look on his/her face is. Do it in PERSON.
Know What His/Her Interests Are
If she loves animals, don't ask her to a bullfighting show! If he hates flowers, don't invite him out to a flower garden. Do your research first. Is she a HUGE fan of Legolas from Lord of the Rings? Offer to take her to the Two Towers, and she'll be thrilled. Bring along a copy of the 'book of the movie' as a present and she'll be thrilled to no end. It's not just that you took her to a movie - it's that you CARED enough to figure out what she'd like. Don't just guess. Find out! Look at her locker, listen in on his conversation. It shouldn't be hard to get an idea of the things he or she likes.
Listen a Lot
People like to feel special. And if you ask them what they like, they're usually quite happy to talk about it. So ask, and listen. If she loves the color red, and you bring her red roses, she'll thing you're amazing. You just were a smart listener. If he says he loves Mustangs and you bring him a small Mustang model for his desk, he'll wonder how you knew. People aren't used to really being paid attention to. A lot of people in the world ignore the important things. If you listen, and pay attention, you're already ahead of the game.
Get Into the Style
This is something you have to do subtly. Every person has their own 'style' they enjoy, and they tend to hang out with friends who share that style. If someone is into black and goth, they probably hang out with a lot of goth friends. They enjoy goth, they love being around it. They probably have other types of friends too, but the goth look makes them happy. If someone loves long hippy outfits, they probably naturally gravitate towards people who do. So pay attention to your date and see how they like to dress, how their idols dress, what makes them feel happy. Don't leap into this! That will show you're a fake that is just doing this for effect. But truly TRY small changes. See if these changes make you happy too. Try just a small change, to show you *care* what this other person cares about and want to share. If you really like it, try other small changes. Your date will notice that you're starting to appreciate their style, and will be happy that you share the same feelings.
picked this up from dr. phil.
::jerry::