So you're saying that if i kick myself in the nutz I will feel better about being dumped for a shithead? :poop:

She can only make the decision to stop. All you can do is be there for her.

well..you shouldnt support it. but you shouldnt bug her about it constantly either. thats not gonna help. i agree with what some of the people here say, ( im too lazy to go back and use quotes. ) about how people cut to, mostly either feel better about other pains, or for attention. ive seen one person put tiny thin scratches ( probobly made with a paper clip or something.. ) everywhere. for me..cutting made me feel a lot better at the time, then really regretfull later. just make sure she knows that shes not gonna get much good out of it. and hopefully she'll realize that soon.

^ very well said

you just have to let her know that your there for her. the rest is up to her (sad but true)

I also have a friend who cuts and it hurts me to see my best friend cutting herself but there isnt much you can do.. Even if you tell her to stop she'll only listen to herself. For me.. I just waited because no matter what I said it was her decision to start with. I know it hurts and all but if it makes her happy then you just have to leave it at that and hope nothing gets worse. Im guess im trying to say to back off but let her know that you still care for her and all that .

well, relasing endomorphines don't help much do they? your actual situation making you cut in the first place won't change until you do something about it..
I've though about cutting =/ but I really realized that and i guess it was a stupid thought; and speaking to someone about it won't help, it leads to more attention and pressure on their life ..

don't cut yourself. go adopt a mean-spirited cat.

ive talked about this with people and i decided that if i ever started cutting, with my luck, i hit a vein and die instantly.

i dont see how someone can find enjoyment in hurting themselves. maybe im just weird and dont know what its like/dont want to know what its like.

don't cut your self throw things!!!!!

cutting yourself is just a cry for attention.
nothing more, nothing less.

dont judge people that cut. you have no idea what trier situation is. yes, there are some people that do it for attention, but there are some people who really ahve a problem and don't want the attention. so dont judge all of them just because there are stupid people in this world that do it for attention.

i think cutting ur self is stupid (not to offend ppl who do it.. so don't get mad or anything..) but i just think it's plain dumb.. if you supposedly go through all this "stress" and why cut ur self even more and make it moer of a stress.. not just to ur self but to the ppl that care about you.. MOST(see not all) cutters think that they are in this alone.. well your not.. you got ppl who care for you so much.. and don't tell me.. NO NONE OF THE PPL I KNOE CARE well you don't KNOE everyone and there is always at least one person who cares for you.. sheeesh i care for ppl that i never met ..

But don't cutt.. do something else.. i'd rather have you hit me than cutt ur self..

like what? its not that easy to quit once you start.

I tried to cut myself, and it hurt so badly.
So I stopped.
I will only cut myself if it was REALLY bad.
But nothing bad came up yet.
Cutting is relieving, but beware the pain.
D:

Tell her how you feel but dont ever say what she is doing is "stupid" Seriously, you just have to try to understand by telling her how you feel

Right now...

I have no sympathy for certain people that cut. =/ Does that sound heartless?

^Nope, not at all

People here = stupid

You shouldnt cut yourself. It doesnt solve anything.

don't judge like that. Some people do it for attention or because they think it's cool... others don't.
Others hide the cuts. they try not to have anyone find out. then people do find out and they do get attention and they want to kill themselves. Like me... I never did it for attention, I never wanted people to know. I do it for other reasons... so quit being an ignorant a-hole and try to understand.

but you aren't alone in being an ignorant a-hole. There are plenty on here... but if you've never felt this way, then there is no way for you to understand. I would never wish this shit on anyone, so I guess I shouldn't care... but you need to at least TRY to understand... or don't say anything at all.

woah..
that shit is bad!!
don't get into it.. cuttings bad n it leaves nastyy scarssss

i know its wrong, but sometimes i just feel like cutting myself. i even have a blade in my pencil case.. thas why my friends always watch me when i take stuff out of my pencil case b/c i tried cutting myself before.. lol

Omg this is the saddest story I ever read about someones friend listen up sweetie there is no way it relieves pain I know what shes going through I tried cutting my wrist 2 years ago and I couldn't break my skin that and my ex fiance stopped me I managed to type I hate me in welps or whatever you call it I tried to show her how bad I hurt on the inside by showing her on the outside.

Why I was doing it is personal but please try to stop her from doing it cause she could blead to death and I definitly don't want you to feel depressed about your friend try to help her the best you can cry go to extremes show her she is loved don't let her do that because you only have one life I don't know this person from scratch but there is so much mor to life.

I made a promise after my 5th suicide attempt not to try it no more cause there is people I live for please just try thats all im asking.

-Trust me, you make think that it relieves the pain right then, but in the end youre not going to get anything out of it, besides nasty scars that people always stare at and always ask about, and what do you say when they ask you about them?..If you say I cut myself theyre going to look at you like youre freakin crazy...So I think you need to come up with some other pain reliever...And if you do cut yourself...Then do it where in the long run youre not going to have to see it everyday and have to think about that one time when you were so depressed or whatever...Because the more you see it and look at it...It doesnt get any better...
<3
Tisha

I think cutting yourself is wrong. A few of my friends do it quite often. But all i can think of when they do is: Have you ever cared about ME? How do you think i will feel if you DID cut yourself && something happened to you? Trying to die is just being selfish.

cutting oneself used to be a way of relieving stress and anger. then it became a trend. a bunch of idiots would do it becuase everyone else was doing it and they would think it's cool.
just.. stop. dumbasses.

we need something pinned, maybe an emotional help thread forum. i have no clue how many types of these topics there are.. but they need to stop. or atleast cut it out. no pun intended....

from everything i know about it its not just a way to relieve the pain. sometimes the have to go to theropy and cure it, kinda like anorexcia. its hard to stop once you do it alot.

about your friend:
treat her normally. dont make her cutting problem the main thing you talk about.

Not sure if anyone suggested this but.

You know I think a great idea is to make your pal LOOK at this topic and make em read all the responces so it might discourage her to continue the cutting..

-the thought of cutting one self for relief SCARES me! -

cutting is a relief mechanism. It is an experimental thing. If it hurts you, then you know ur in it for the wrong reasons (rebellion, popularity, character). Those who cut to relieve stress, don't hurt because it's the only pain that they feel they can control.

i have friends do that too! and there wounds are deep o___O they even use needle...and thats horrible to see there arms...anyway...no one could stop them i guess

You know what I think is funny? How for everyone person that states they think it's wrong, five other people will call them stupid and tell them that they only think it's wrong because they haven't done it or supposedly "gone under that kind of stress".

BULLSHIT.

So, in order for me to think cutting is right I'll have to slice up my wrists and arms?

What kind of messed up logic is that? Honestly, cutting to relieve pain? It doesn't make sense. Talk to someone about it. I think it's kind of cowardly.. you're only avoiding your problems because you can't deal with them. Honestly, there are better ways of handling it. Find some other alternative.


Really, it's not the ONLY way. People just think it is because they can't think of anything else. Why? I wouldn't know. I've never done it before. And just because my life might suck sometimes doesn't mean I'm going to start either.

^ you can't just declare that... The more you guys keep saying how stupid it is the more people will cut. Don't you guys see it? You misunderstand them. Instead of ranting about how stupid it is why won't you stop judging them and actually help them understand how dangerous it is? and the term "cutting relieves pain" doesn't literally mean it frees them from pain but it comforts them to know that "worthless beings such as them is punished" or so how i put it. I cut my self before. I understand now how stupid it was and how i hurt so many people who i thought i would help if i erase my existence. Don't just say hurtful things like that... you can't just assume how they feel when you don't know what they go through in the bottom of their heart. Someone who doesn't understand and can't empathize will be blind to what i say... and who are all of you to judge their sadness? Everyone can be depressed or morbid if they want. They can feel unworthy if they want... but we can't judge them and tell them that they shouldn't feel like they're pain isn't worth it. It's called looking down on people and i hate that. Looking down is the most commonly used way on how to contradict yourself and no one even knows it.

*edit*
for the topic starter's friend.. she probably thinks in a way you're judging her. But I know you're not and you just want to help. Tell her this:

Sometimes we can all feel weak and unwanted. Sometimes the whole world can hate us and the whole world can ignore us. but you know, just accepting that fact.. takes a lot of courage. Accepting the fact that you are weak and unwanted takes a lot of bravery... but cutting yourself because of that fact, it might be justice for a few people but for your friends it's not. We may not know it but there are people who love us more than anything in the world. Which is why we all have to bear through with it. Even though today was too hard to bare or tomorrow will just bring unbarable fear and pain, we have to live through it. It's the only way we can become stronger. Cutting ourselves and hurting out body isn't becoming stronger. To be able to take a memory that you'd rather forget and bring it with you for the rest of your life, will make you twice the person you are. So please don't cut anymore. Because one day it will all end. We've been given a chance to know the joy of being born, so we have to live through everything to know that joy.

ive done it before. i understand. i think it is for attention more than anything else.

Even though I haven't tried it, cutting is wrong. Why inflict that kind of pain because your life isn't going the way you want to. It's like not getting the job you want then going to break your leg. Does that really help the situation in the long run? no.

Don't just tell her to stop, tell her that cutting is bad for you and that there are other ways of making yourself feel better. Sit down and talk to her about why she's feeling so bad right now, there may be something you can help her with. homeowork maybe? If it's a friend problem and it's someone you know you might be able to help. If it's not something you can help her with, than comfort her and try to make her feel as good as possible, but don't get down on her cause she's cutting, that won't help anything.

good luck

wow, what an interesting topic. you know, in my opinion, the answer really differs on the reason the person is doing it. we may hate to admit it, but honestly, over half of the people who cut only do it because it's a fad (especially in the emo/punk scene) or because they want some to care about them, in shrot, they want attention. there are very few who actually want to keep it hidden from *everyone* and because it helps relieve stress, pain, anger, makes the ache go away...

...before you say i have no idea what i'm talking about, i do. i do cut, i have for five years. i admit, for a couple months about a year ago i started it up really hard and telling people because i wanted someone to help me or care, whatever (um...i had some other issues, too, still do) that plan really backfired on me, my parents found out, it wasn't good, to say the least. i stopped for a while and i've started it back up again, but my view on it is, it really is my coping method. i know a lot of people may disagree with me, but i'm not slitting my wrists or my throat or trying to kill myself (anymore) and it helps...so...it's my choice, enough said.

all the fakers should just go f**k themselves >_>

there i go, ranting again before i read everyone's posts. i'm stupid like that. you know, a lot of you don't know, and a lot of you probably never will know, the ones who say it's stupid and cowardly. cutters know that, okay? do you think it makes us feel any better? hardly, which just worsens things, it's like a never ending vicious cycle. before i started cutting i had this friend, who actually introduced me to the idea, and it made no sense to me either...i mean, pain doesn't make pain go away. but it's not just pain, it's the ache. a quote i heard from someone once, that makes a ton of sense about cutting:
"new pain so you forget the old pain." make sense to you?



exactly, that's what pisses me off so much.



exactly!!!



ditto, ditto!

in short...for the topic starters friend...it may be a big deal, it may not, it all dependso n how you look at it. depending on your friends intention, she either wants you to make a big deal out of it or not. either way, i wouldn't make a big deal out of it. if she just wants someone to pay attention then eventually she'll see it's not working and stop. if it's serious, you're there to help her, but you don't have to get insane about it. all cutters are psychotic, we're just normal people. mmk?

^aww lol you're a very sweet person.

But you know what I notice? This happens a LOT but is SOMETIMES true too. Many people assume that they do it for attention. Okay, this is true 94% of the time. However, on the 6% it's usually to slowly deminish yourself instead of ending it immediately. You know, when I was like 11 or something. I felt really guilty for alive. My parents had to apologize for my behavior all the time and my siblings didn't like me because I was a "nobody". I soon started to think, "Why am I here if all I do is make people not want me?" I thought of myself as someone who even their own family can't be proud of. And soon I started to say, "sure when I die they'll be sad...but they won;t know it but it will sure relieve stress...they won't have to pay for the crap I make them do, they won't have to pay for college tuition, they won't have to pay for food as much as they do." As an idiot I actually thought this can be the best for my parents. I never told anyone and I wasn't emo or gothic either but I started cutting. It was to a point that I lost SO much blood in a week that I got sent to the hospital. And they all saw the scars and stuff. Afterwards, everyone tried to get me help. They gave me a therapist. They gave me extra unwanted attention... It was never attention I wanted...I just wanted the guilt away...the therapist couldn't understand that...no one can understand that...until

2 years later I met this boy. He's very cute. Goofy, funny, and in a way very sweet. He's parents are divorced and he has no permission to ever see his father again. So in a way, he knows what i feel. Then when I found out he lived near me. We met on the street and started to hang out. Once he found out about my situation he was like, "Geezus Christ that sure is stupid. They really think that'll help?" Of course I answered him with a yeah and then he said, "I feel that way sometimes. And if i want to be happy, I'll just look at the person next to me. I'll think about ways I can affect that person's life if I can get to know her/him. And maybe, I won't be so worthless... Sure it's the wrong reason to be nice. But it helps. When I met you, I tried to do the same, but now...i really want to get to know you"

I cried

Hopefully she's stopped cutting by now. But everyone keep in mind just telling someone they should stop often infuriates them. You have to let them know you're there to talk and show them the alternatives to relieve stress.

I tried it and didnt help me very much...so I quit

good for you

yea.. my friends cut too.. i dont know what to do about it but what works the best and i know this i s kind of manipulative but i threaten them that if they cut i will cut and like they stop for a while at least.

that is so sweet. There are definitely much much better ways of coping with stressfull problems...talking to friends, chocolate, a hobby, art, screaming, rolling down hills...seriously, I'm not condemning anyone, but it doesn't make sense to pick such a self depreciating way of coping. If you don't protect/love yourself, why should anyone else? If you need help or want attention, you have to be brave enough to reach out and ask....thats my opinion.

ppl cut themselves as trend?? really, all the "popular" ppl at school DOESN'T nad is AGAINST cutting n completely flipped wen this girl showed her her cut marks that she cut herself with... yeah

Its self mutalation... =\

1- u spelled "pain" wrong
2- why the hell is this in RELATIONSHIPS?

i think is wack like crack!

I think it's dumb. Cutting is freaky.

One of my good friends used to cut when she had a lot of stress on her, family stuff and our friends were causing a big mess. She realized that it was wrong and went to get help for it. Maybe your friend should too.

Tell her this story (it isnt true though)
Somebody on cB used to cut herself for even the littlest sin she did. One day, she cut herself so bad, she cut all the way through a vein. She had to go to the hospital and get blood donations.

I don't know, maybe.
--->Sierra