EmeraldKnight
Aug 8 2004, 03:22 PM
Aquadextrious: The art of turning the bathtub tap on with your toes.
Pain: A cat licking your sunburn.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Willpower: The ability to eat only one salted peanut.
Profanity: The linguistic crutch of inarticulate idiots.
Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.
Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Taxpayer: Someone who doesn't have to take a public service exam to work for the government.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Stress: The confusion created when ones mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately needs it.
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they're dead.
Hospitality: Making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle
xjjajeengx
Aug 8 2004, 05:02 PM
ehh...

i like the adult one.

did you make these up on your own?
IIO__oII
Aug 8 2004, 06:21 PM
"Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle "
haha that one is funny <333
dani41790
Aug 8 2004, 07:30 PM
lol the adult one is funni
F1R3B4T
Aug 8 2004, 08:59 PM
lmao i like the jury one... decides who has the best lawyer lmao
F1R3B4T
Aug 9 2004, 12:49 AM
lol add thsi in the the list
LOVE: A word involving four letters, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots. It refers to a disease that can be cured by marriage.
ARCHITECT: A guy not "macho" enough to be an engineer and not queer enough to be an interior designer.
TO DANCE: It refers to the vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.
BRAIN: An organ that allows us to think we think.
BOY SCOUT: A child dressed like an idiot guided by an idiot dressed like a child.
HEADACHE: A woman's most trustworthy modern contraceptive.
BUST: Statue of a man without hands or the parts of a woman where a man's hands have been.
ORAL EXAM: A test you must pass to become an intern in the White house.
A POLITICAL CANDIDATE: A person who gets money form the rich and votes from the poor in order to protect them from each other.
TONGUE: A sexual organ that some degenerates use in order to speak.
PRIEST: A person everyone calls "Father" except for his own children, who call him "Uncle".
EASY: It is said of a woman who has the sexual morality of a man.
MAN: A living thing who at the age of nine months emerges from a place to which we will try to return for the rest of this life.
INTELLECTUAL: A person capable of thinking for more than one hour about anything other than sex.
MODESTY: Knowing you are perfect without telling anyone.
NYMPHOMANIA: A term describing any woman who wants to have sex more often than a man.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please
click here.