i was writing this vampire story and i dont know if its any good....please read and give me ur feedback...
Prologue
Blood was splattered everywhere. My heart was filled with worry and fear. I wanted to see what was happening and I ached to know how my family fared, yet I could not break my promise to Papa. The room was deadly quiet but the sound of footsteps broke the eerie silence. The footsteps got louder and louder but in an instant, they stopped. I saw a shadow in the crack underneath the door. My breathing quickened and all these thoughts came into my head. What if it’s Papa? But Papa would know that I’m in the closet, for he is the one who put me in here. But if it’s not Papa, then who is it? The thoughts were soon interrupted as this stranger walked away. I thought that he was gone and pressed my ear to the door to hear what was happening on the other side of the door. There was nothing but silence until the door suddenly flew open. I fell flat on my face but quickly got up. The man came over and took my hand. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he said, “Do not be frightened, Little One.” The name made me tremble because that was what Papa called me. But how did the stranger know? It’s just a coincidence. I convinced myself. I looked at the stranger and what I saw was something I did not expect.
He was dressed in clothes that looked vaguely familiar, yet I couldn’t quite say how I knew where the clothes were from. His black hair was tied back and his shoes shined with moon’s light. He was not old nor was he young. His grey eyes showed wisdom yet his face showed youth. I looked closer and saw that he had fangs that were unusually long and sharp.
He walked over to the corner of the room, taking me with him. He put my wrist up and whispered, “It might hurt.” He put his mouth on my wrist and suddenly impaled his sharp fangs into my wrist. The pain was so extreme and unexpected but I guess I did not expect him to stab me with his fangs. I didn’t even know why I didn’t try to stop him. This stranger let my wrist bleed a bit before he put his mouth down to my wrist and drained some of my blood from me. He bites his wrist and lets his blood flow out. The blood was unusually darker than mine and looked almost black. He orders me to drink some of his blood. I was terrified and just stood there, trembling. This man was expecting me to drink blood and I thought, This man is crazy. I tried to escape from his hold on my arm but his grip was strong. He pushed my head down to his wrist and I resisted for a couple of minutes but the blood spilled into my mouth and the taste of it did something to my senses. I suddenly wanted to drink more and the more I drank, the more alert I became. I heard the animals scampering outside and the whispered conversation going on between two people not far from the house. All of a sudden, pain overtook my body and I fell to the floor. He walked away form my crumpled body but when he reached the doorway, he turned around. He looked at me and stared at me with those grey eyes of his and for a second I think I saw regret. But he looked away and walked out of the room. When he was gone, I realized something that broke my heart. The man’s clothes were my father’s clothes. Right at that moment I knew that there was no hope for my family. They were dead. The blood I saw was my family’s blood and the man who had called me “little one” killed them. When this realization finally hit me, a wave of exhaustion swept over me and I blacked out.
Full Version: a vampire story....
QUOTE(curi0usbr0wneyes @ Jul 26 2004, 4:04 PM)
i was writing this vampire story and i dont know if its any good....please read and give me ur feedback...
Prologue
Blood was splattered everywhere. My heart was filled with worry and fear. I wanted to see what was happening and I ached to know how my family fared, yet I could not break my promise to Papa. The room was deadly quiet but the sound of footsteps broke the eerie silence. The footsteps got louder and louder but in an instant, they stopped. I saw a shadow in the crack underneath the door. My breathing quickened and all these thoughts came into my head. What if it’s Papa? But Papa would know that I’m in the closet, for he is the one who put me in here. But if it’s not Papa, then who is it? The thoughts were soon interrupted as this stranger walked away. I thought that he was gone and pressed my ear to the door to hear what was happening on the other side of the door. There was nothing but silence until the door suddenly flew open. I fell flat on my face but quickly got up. The man came over and took my hand. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he said, “Do not be frightened, Little One.” The name made me tremble because that was what Papa called me. But how did the stranger know? It’s just a coincidence. I convinced myself. I looked at the stranger and what I saw was something I did not expect.
He was dressed in clothes that looked vaguely familiar, yet I couldn’t quite say how I knew where the clothes were from. His black hair was tied back and his shoes shined with moon’s light. He was not old nor was he young. His grey eyes showed wisdom yet his face showed youth. I looked closer and saw that he had fangs that were unusually long and sharp.
He walked over to the corner of the room, taking me with him. He put my wrist up and whispered, “It might hurt.” He put his mouth on my wrist and suddenly impaled his sharp fangs into my wrist. The pain was so extreme and unexpected but I guess I did not expect him to stab me with his fangs. I didn’t even know why I didn’t try to stop him. This stranger let my wrist bleed a bit before he put his mouth down to my wrist and drained some of my blood from me. He bites his wrist and lets his blood flow out. The blood was unusually darker than mine and looked almost black. He orders me to drink some of his blood. I was terrified and just stood there, trembling. This man was expecting me to drink blood and I thought, This man is crazy. I tried to escape from his hold on my arm but his grip was strong. He pushed my head down to his wrist and I resisted for a couple of minutes but the blood spilled into my mouth and the taste of it did something to my senses. I suddenly wanted to drink more and the more I drank, the more alert I became. I heard the animals scampering outside and the whispered conversation going on between two people not far from the house. All of a sudden, pain overtook my body and I fell to the floor. He walked away form my crumpled body but when he reached the doorway, he turned around. He looked at me and stared at me with those grey eyes of his and for a second I think I saw regret. But he looked away and walked out of the room. When he was gone, I realized something that broke my heart. The man’s clothes were my father’s clothes. Right at that moment I knew that there was no hope for my family. They were dead. The blood I saw was my family’s blood and the man who had called me “little one” killed them. When this realization finally hit me, a wave of exhaustion swept over me and I blacked out.
Prologue
Blood was splattered everywhere. My heart was filled with worry and fear. I wanted to see what was happening and I ached to know how my family fared, yet I could not break my promise to Papa. The room was deadly quiet but the sound of footsteps broke the eerie silence. The footsteps got louder and louder but in an instant, they stopped. I saw a shadow in the crack underneath the door. My breathing quickened and all these thoughts came into my head. What if it’s Papa? But Papa would know that I’m in the closet, for he is the one who put me in here. But if it’s not Papa, then who is it? The thoughts were soon interrupted as this stranger walked away. I thought that he was gone and pressed my ear to the door to hear what was happening on the other side of the door. There was nothing but silence until the door suddenly flew open. I fell flat on my face but quickly got up. The man came over and took my hand. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he said, “Do not be frightened, Little One.” The name made me tremble because that was what Papa called me. But how did the stranger know? It’s just a coincidence. I convinced myself. I looked at the stranger and what I saw was something I did not expect.
He was dressed in clothes that looked vaguely familiar, yet I couldn’t quite say how I knew where the clothes were from. His black hair was tied back and his shoes shined with moon’s light. He was not old nor was he young. His grey eyes showed wisdom yet his face showed youth. I looked closer and saw that he had fangs that were unusually long and sharp.
He walked over to the corner of the room, taking me with him. He put my wrist up and whispered, “It might hurt.” He put his mouth on my wrist and suddenly impaled his sharp fangs into my wrist. The pain was so extreme and unexpected but I guess I did not expect him to stab me with his fangs. I didn’t even know why I didn’t try to stop him. This stranger let my wrist bleed a bit before he put his mouth down to my wrist and drained some of my blood from me. He bites his wrist and lets his blood flow out. The blood was unusually darker than mine and looked almost black. He orders me to drink some of his blood. I was terrified and just stood there, trembling. This man was expecting me to drink blood and I thought, This man is crazy. I tried to escape from his hold on my arm but his grip was strong. He pushed my head down to his wrist and I resisted for a couple of minutes but the blood spilled into my mouth and the taste of it did something to my senses. I suddenly wanted to drink more and the more I drank, the more alert I became. I heard the animals scampering outside and the whispered conversation going on between two people not far from the house. All of a sudden, pain overtook my body and I fell to the floor. He walked away form my crumpled body but when he reached the doorway, he turned around. He looked at me and stared at me with those grey eyes of his and for a second I think I saw regret. But he looked away and walked out of the room. When he was gone, I realized something that broke my heart. The man’s clothes were my father’s clothes. Right at that moment I knew that there was no hope for my family. They were dead. The blood I saw was my family’s blood and the man who had called me “little one” killed them. When this realization finally hit me, a wave of exhaustion swept over me and I blacked out.
blood everywhere eh?
LOL! 
Is that it or is there a next chapter? Lol I loved it, I love Vampire stories for real! Hehe, I'm like addicted to it. I know I sound childish but yeah. It's really good! If I were you I'll add more to it.
Have you read the book The Last Vampire? It's a great book.
-hEaRt <3
Have you read the book The Last Vampire? It's a great book.
-hEaRt <3
neat story is purty cool... good job... it has a sad touch to it I love it 
well im posting up chapter one....and Foolish Heart, i have read THE LAST VAMPIRE...its one of the coolest books ever. christopher pike is a big fave of mine! LOL!
Chapter One
I sat on the bench silently looking out at the full moon. As the years passed by, I began to have this new appreciation for it.
I got up and walked across the playground and went over to the sidewalk. Across the street, there was a little house. When I reached the front door, I took my house keys out of my pocket and opened the door. The house was dark but I didn’t need to turn on the lights. Shadows were lurking behind everything in the living room. I went into the living room and turned on the TV. When I finally settled down into the couch, my thoughts flooded my head. Why was I spared? Why me? Why couldn’t my family be spared, too? I shook the thoughts out of my head. When I turned to look at the TV, I immediately wished I hadn’t.
The TV was flashing with images of bloody corpses and creatures that only came out at night. The movie they were playing made me cringe, so I turned off the TV and went into my bedroom. I lay on the bed and closed my eyes. Before long, I was asleep.
~~*~~
Bloody bodies were on the floor and to my horrification, they were the bodies of my family. I was felt sad but I could not cry. I knew that my Papa would not want me to show weakness to my enemy. I closed my eyes and fought to control my anger. I would never forget the sight of my family’s dead bodies on the floor. I opened my eyes to see the man just standing there, like nothing had happened. “How could you have done this to them?” I asked shakily. “Even though this is no excuse, I did it because I had to feed. If I did not feed I would not survive.” he answered. Feed? I thought. He fed on humans? “I need to drink the blood to survive, you will have to too if you want to live.” I now knew what he was and what he had turned me into. I had heard of the stories in the village, about the creatures that only came out at night and fed on the blood of humans. “I refuse to drink blood. I won’t turn into a monster like you!” I yelled.
~~*~~
I woke up with a start. Sweat was covering my forehead.
“I see you had another one of your nightmares,” he said.
“Why are you here?” I asked wearily.
“Cross, are we? Do you always sleep late, Little One?”
The name sent shivers through my body. Papa. I thought.
“Don’t you dare to call me that,” I glared at him.
“Why not?” he asked, innocently.
“You know why,” I answered with my hands turning into fists.
When he didn’t answer, I asked, “What do you want?”
“Nothing…I just wanted to see how you were doing.” he said.
“If you wanted to see how I was, then why did you refuse to answer me for the past five years?” I challenged.
“I was busy…” he replied with a faraway look.
“Look I don’t have any time for your nonsense!” I exclaimed.
“Okay, okay. I just need a place to stay for now.” he said, starting to sound as weary as me.
“Don’t you have some money? You can stay at one of the hotels,” I got out of the bed.
“Well I wanted to see what you’ve been up to,” he explained.
“Fine, whatever,” I got some blankets out of the closet dumped them on the couch.
“You can sleep on the couch,” I looked at him, questioningly.
He said nothing but he walked over to where I was and took off his shoes. I walked away to my bedroom. I lay on my bed again and after a couple of minutes, I fell asleep.
Chapter One
I sat on the bench silently looking out at the full moon. As the years passed by, I began to have this new appreciation for it.
I got up and walked across the playground and went over to the sidewalk. Across the street, there was a little house. When I reached the front door, I took my house keys out of my pocket and opened the door. The house was dark but I didn’t need to turn on the lights. Shadows were lurking behind everything in the living room. I went into the living room and turned on the TV. When I finally settled down into the couch, my thoughts flooded my head. Why was I spared? Why me? Why couldn’t my family be spared, too? I shook the thoughts out of my head. When I turned to look at the TV, I immediately wished I hadn’t.
The TV was flashing with images of bloody corpses and creatures that only came out at night. The movie they were playing made me cringe, so I turned off the TV and went into my bedroom. I lay on the bed and closed my eyes. Before long, I was asleep.
~~*~~
Bloody bodies were on the floor and to my horrification, they were the bodies of my family. I was felt sad but I could not cry. I knew that my Papa would not want me to show weakness to my enemy. I closed my eyes and fought to control my anger. I would never forget the sight of my family’s dead bodies on the floor. I opened my eyes to see the man just standing there, like nothing had happened. “How could you have done this to them?” I asked shakily. “Even though this is no excuse, I did it because I had to feed. If I did not feed I would not survive.” he answered. Feed? I thought. He fed on humans? “I need to drink the blood to survive, you will have to too if you want to live.” I now knew what he was and what he had turned me into. I had heard of the stories in the village, about the creatures that only came out at night and fed on the blood of humans. “I refuse to drink blood. I won’t turn into a monster like you!” I yelled.
~~*~~
I woke up with a start. Sweat was covering my forehead.
“I see you had another one of your nightmares,” he said.
“Why are you here?” I asked wearily.
“Cross, are we? Do you always sleep late, Little One?”
The name sent shivers through my body. Papa. I thought.
“Don’t you dare to call me that,” I glared at him.
“Why not?” he asked, innocently.
“You know why,” I answered with my hands turning into fists.
When he didn’t answer, I asked, “What do you want?”
“Nothing…I just wanted to see how you were doing.” he said.
“If you wanted to see how I was, then why did you refuse to answer me for the past five years?” I challenged.
“I was busy…” he replied with a faraway look.
“Look I don’t have any time for your nonsense!” I exclaimed.
“Okay, okay. I just need a place to stay for now.” he said, starting to sound as weary as me.
“Don’t you have some money? You can stay at one of the hotels,” I got out of the bed.
“Well I wanted to see what you’ve been up to,” he explained.
“Fine, whatever,” I got some blankets out of the closet dumped them on the couch.
“You can sleep on the couch,” I looked at him, questioningly.
He said nothing but he walked over to where I was and took off his shoes. I walked away to my bedroom. I lay on my bed again and after a couple of minutes, I fell asleep.
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