twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Some excerpts:

"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."

"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

"They serve Jim Beam on airplanes. Tastes like piss. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference, because you drink shit. I don't."

lol i'm reading these at the moment. They're very funny.

Oh jesus christ LOL

Probably my personal favorite: "The dog is not bored, it's a f*cking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a f*cking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."

lol some of these, i could imagine my dad saying ;|

I'm fond of "The Mime." I've been following him (it?) for a while now.

Also is a fav.

Best one, definitely.