Dec 27 2008, 10:17 PM
So I've been dating this guy for 10 months now. I'm still a virgin, but the more I think about it, I'd like to go further with him, possibly or possibly not, sex. This guy means everything to me and there's no one else I'd rather be with. Well, getting to the point. I'm 16, 5'5'' and around 120 pounds. I've never considered myself fat, or overweight, but slowly, I'm starting to realize, as he and I are getting closer, its very hard for me to be comfortable with my body. Every time we try to do something new, I back off. It's a natural reaction for me, and really, I feel bad for him. It's nothing he is doing wrong, it's my own insecurities with myself. It's not that I feel uncomfortable trying these new things, because deep down I really would like to go further with him. I try to push myself to become secure with my body, but for some reason I can't. Any advice?
Dec 27 2008, 10:23 PM
You shouldnt be worried with your weight at all, and besides your boyfriend obviously still loves you whether you think your body "isnt perfect" which makes him a really good guy.
Dec 27 2008, 10:55 PM
This is why the whole mantra of "Before anyone can love you, you have to learn how to love yourself" holds true. From what you've said, the guy seems decent. I'm afraid self-esteem is not something some strangers on a forum can help you with. You'll have to do a little searching yourself my friend.
Dec 27 2008, 11:23 PM
You need to stop trying to force yourself to be comfortable with who you are, you have to let it happen. A lot of people gain confidence when they accept themselves and grow into who they are and become secure with the person that they are. You need to figure out what makes you insecure and start at the root of the problem rather than trying to cover it up. Be honest with your boyfriend, let him know when you aren't comfortable and work together to find ways to assure that you are more comfortable. If you don't tell him, he will think that it's something he's doing and it might make him a little insecure, too. On the other hand, if anyone pressures you to do something you're not comfortable with, then they don't respect and you probably aren't worth your attention.
Dec 27 2008, 11:44 PM
well first, talk to him. just tell him exactly what you said in your post. he may do or say something to make you feel a little better. he may be more careful with you. or maybe he won't do anything. either way, you need to let him know it's not him, just your few little issues.
i have this problem too, except it starts way before physical relations. i think i'm incapable of trusting or loving anybody. but anyway, my point is i totally understand where you're coming from, and the best you can do is talk to him, and build your self confidence. buy a few revealing tops, some short shorts. soon enough you'll be so used to it. work out, maybe? it really does help.
i wish you luck.
Dec 28 2008, 01:16 AM
if he gone out with u for 10 months, he is fine with your body
Dec 31 2008, 04:52 PM
your boyfriend likes you for who you are. you shouldn't be worried. let go of the insecurities, it isn't good to hold on to them. if it helps talk to your boyfriend about it so he won't feel left out on why you stop. and he won't think that he's doing nothing wrong. good luck!
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here