princess2113
Jun 26 2004, 02:13 PM
sume parents tell their kids its ok to have sex when their ready.....do u think thats ok??? for parents to like...encourage them to have sex? will u tell ur kids thats ok???
JlIaTMK
Jun 26 2004, 03:36 PM
as far as i no no parents tell their kids to have sex when their ready.... and i wouldnt exactly say thats encouraging....
and i wont tell my kids that
stryker76
Jun 26 2004, 03:51 PM
i wouldnt call it encouragement...that is a kinda onesided statement...but i also kno that my parents told me growing up in which in many ways i still am doin....that if you have sex be responsible about it....i mean they never once told me it was ok to go and just have sex with someone.....that would be wrong...but they also never told me it was a bad thing...but face it....sex isnt bad...well sometimes it can be.....but ill leave that alone. Over the years tho i have formed my own values on the subject of sex.....1. Not until i have found the right person....its a special thing that just shouldnt be thrown away for ne one. 2. If you are responsible enough to have sex(protected or unprotected) then you are responcible and mature enough to handle the consicoinses(sp).....And i also feel that practicing Abstedance until married is kind like wierd i mean when you are married you should plan to be with that person for the rest of you life....now i kno many people arent...but i mean if you do wait and then realize that after waiting that person is how you hoped they would be then what....cuz sex is honestly part of a good relationship....it doesnt have to be a regular thing but if your not comfortable enough to be with that person like that then do you think you should really be married to them???
ur_my_sweety20
Jun 26 2004, 07:18 PM
being catholic i think that if you love someone enough to have sex before marriage with them then you should love them enough to marry them... i got that from my 8th grade religion teacher, mrs. peloquin...man i miss her (not a lesbo)
baybietenshi
Jun 27 2004, 12:49 AM
it's not encouraging...it's just saying when he/she is ready, they have permission. if they say it like that at least they can tell them to use protection and talk about it and such...it's better than saying "HEY YOU'RE NOT ALLOW TO HAVE SEX. IF YOU HAVE IT, IMMA KICK YOUR BUTT!" they kid would NEVER ask for advice, therefore, having unprotected sex and then end up pregnant and...god knows what else...or in the father's case...if he's responsible [that is], then he'd be stuck with a kid and a low wage paying job...most likely
angel-roh
Jun 27 2004, 03:19 PM
no they shud have sex wen they get married....not before marriage and not like when they are ready... i think thats wrong wen parents encourage their kids to sex when the kids think they are ready and all... i mean thats kinda stupid and messed up. i know that a girl like a guy so much that she thinks shes ready to have sex...well to let u know... after sex...the girl gets a baby sooner or later, but then she do an abortion and kills the baby... parents can make their own child to a worse life.
Retrogressive
Jun 27 2004, 04:35 PM
human function, like sneezing, itching a scratch. we all need intamacy and love. why censor something like that? thats like making people stop eating. dance, make love, and be merry.
TBoltzbabe
Jun 27 2004, 04:40 PM
my mom knows i have sex with my boyfriend, and she said she doesn't like it, but she can't change it because she knows i will anyways. so instead she just encourages me to use protect and yeah
Mini
Jun 27 2004, 05:16 PM
well parents dont exactly encourage their kdis to have sex. i know my friends' parents are like i dont like it but i cant stop you, just use protection. its not really encouraging them, but if someone wants to have sex, they will no matter what their parents say. the only person who can stop you is yourself. its not like the parents are like go ahead and have sex.
Spirited Away
Jun 28 2004, 09:57 AM
I don't think one has to wait to get married to be able to have sex because that would drive people to marry only so they could try to see if sex was good with their partner and then get a divorce when things don't work out.
Nor do I think that it's okay for parents to tell kids to have sex when they're "ready" because the child can be so sure that they are, but regrets it the morning after. I think parents who say that are irresponsible OR they just don't know what to say (ex: it's a taboo subject when girls ask their Dads instead of Mom) or something like that.
mai_z
Jun 28 2004, 10:54 AM
i wouldn't say that it was bad, but chances are, the kid is going to do it when he/she thinks s/he is ready, whether the parents allow it or not.....saying stuff like that will show that they are open, and will promote their kids talking to them, and coming to them for advice...
faithin_felix
Jun 28 2004, 08:19 PM
whoa...some parent...but really, would that be a good or bad thing?
EmeraldKnight
Jun 29 2004, 12:13 AM
Back to the original post..
QUOTE
sume parents tell their kids its ok to have sex when their ready.....do u think thats ok??? for parents to like...encourage them to have sex? will u tell ur kids thats ok???
Define "ready". I mean.. if they truly knew the consequences and the risks they take.. then yes, safe and well-informed sex shouldnt be a problem.. the main problem is.. that it simply does not happen.. I had sex education.. 4 years in a row.. and by the 2nd year already.. it got repetitive.. just looking around at the class.. the vast majority were off in their own world.. not realli paying attention.. they listen and know the information.. but they dont readily apply it
A parent shouldnt encourage their kids to have sex.. what they should do is
a. make sure their kids know the risks involved
b. neither encourage nor strictly forbid it.. because by prohibiting it, they might cause some kids to have sex.. as an act of rebellion..
c. if they know their child is sexual active, they shouldnt punish them.. because the kid will still continue anyways.. instead, they should make sure that participating in safe sexual practices..
The real problem at hand.. is that teenagers dont listen (myself included..) to their parents to such a degree as they did beforehand.. and especially not to lectures and forewarnings.. it realli is appalling.. the number of sexual active teens.. (*remembers overhearing discussions of sex lives in chemistry class X.x); and there simply isnt much adults can do about it.. punish them once, the teens are still going to do it
cailean
Jul 25 2004, 03:51 PM
Parents need to educate their children about sex and how BABIES are made. I wouldn't say that parents should encourage their children to have sex...cause that's just weird. But I do believe that parents need to tell their children about safe sex and inform them of all the sexually transmitted diseases their are out there. A parents' duty to their child is to prepare them to be sent out into the world. You wouldn't send your child out in a car without them having learned how to drive and have their driver's license and insurance would you?
Missing_You
Jul 25 2004, 04:22 PM
I'm a christian and I believe in saving yourself for marriage. My mom said that she doesn't want me to but if I ever did that I should tell her so I can get on birth control. And I know a lot of people say that because of their religion they choose not too. But I don't think your religion should JUST be the reason you don't. It's a dission you make wheter you really want to or not. I just think teens these days are being raised that sex isn't bad---which it isn't when it's with your one and only. There is just way too many consequinces. And if your boyfriend wont wait for you then obviously he doens't really love you. Cause somebody who does would wait. Don't settle for less. when you deserve more.
brit*
bhrama
Jul 25 2004, 08:00 PM
QUOTE
I'm a christian and I believe in saving yourself for marriage. My mom said that she doesn't want me to but if I ever did that I should tell her so I can get on birth control. And I know a lot of people say that because of their religion they choose not too. But I don't think your religion should JUST be the reason you don't. It's a dission you make wheter you really want to or not. I just think teens these days are being raised that sex isn't bad---which it isn't when it's with your one and only. There is just way too many consequinces. And if your boyfriend wont wait for you then obviously he doens't really love you. Cause somebody who does would wait. Don't settle for less. when you deserve more.
brit*
I completely agree with u. Im catholic and I believe in saving myself before marriage. I agree with the comment emeraldknight made too. Kids have to know all the risks and consequences that come with sex; STD's, pregnancy, abortion, loss of respect from peers. I would problably lose a bunch of really good friends if i told them i had sex for instance. I think kids today don't know when they're ready and they get pressured into doin it. i think parents should take the time to talk to their kids about it and not really restrict it or allow it. You don't want to be like someone i know and end up pregnant at the age of 13.
syLph`tommy
Jul 25 2004, 08:06 PM
if my son was gonna have sex ill get him condoms xp for protection..
LiNHy POO
Jul 25 2004, 08:19 PM
umm.. i dont think they're encouraging them.. they're juss giving them their approval i think..
alwaysalone
Jul 25 2004, 10:19 PM
I wouldn't say it's encouraging, it's more of a..."When you find some one you really love." sort of statement I think.
diezelbabygrl_xoxo
Jul 26 2004, 12:48 AM
i only think its right for parents 2 encourage their kids 2 have sex wen tha kids are like 45 yrs old and single so dat tha parents gotta push em out tha door n say, "go get laid n dont come back until u gotz me a couple of grandchildren!"
LOL
jo3
Jul 26 2004, 11:10 AM
QUOTE(uninspiredfae @ Jun 28 2004, 9:57 AM)
I don't think one has to wait to get married to be able to have sex because that would drive people to marry only so they could try to see if sex was good with their partner and then get a divorce when things don't work out.
if 2 people got married so they could see if sex was good with their partner, then their relationship is VERY shallow. there's no love whatsoever in that relationship
if you love someone, then even if he/she isn't a good sex partner, you'll still make it good bcuz of your love for him/her
d3v1l1ci0us
Jul 26 2004, 05:47 PM
approval. not encoruagement. :D if they were encouraging, itd be more like.. "SEX IS SO GOOD FOR YOU-SEX FEELS AWESOME--DO SEX ITS A NICE EXPERIENCE-ETC" haha, just pointing that out
Devastation
Jul 26 2004, 05:48 PM
big big thing to me. wait till you found the RIGHT ONE.
JessJR1022
Jul 27 2004, 08:03 PM
it's prolly not a good thing to encourage them to have sex, I know my parents aalways said now....except my mom....but she's a *cough*...slut..... and told me that it would be ok, but I def won't tell my kids its ok
iheartsimba
Jul 27 2004, 10:40 PM
i think its completely fine. you SHOULD have sex when your ready. why miss your chance, if your in love.
im going to tell my kids that to.
i dont care about that waiting till your married sht.
Corianboi
Jul 28 2004, 07:49 AM
Face it guy's hormones are out of control when they hit puberty, and girls from a young age want boyfirends, and this is not everyone but the majority. Sooo if anything, you should support and educate the child...that is best...the biggest mistake parents make is that they forgot they were kids too.
aud_chua
Aug 2 2004, 04:07 PM
i'd beat the living crap out of my kids if they had sex while they're piss drunk! lolz..!!
but seriously... i think that parents should talk about sex with their kids and explain what happens and like.. the consequences.. that way, kids can make an informed decision.. of course i wouldn't allow them to have sex when they're not yet 18... really now! i don't believe that all people are mature enough at that age. all i'm saying is that they should be responsible for their actions. i don't want my kid to have sex with someone then get in trouble, i.e. have babies or contract STD's. that's just wrong....
if the main issue in question here is pre-marital sex, i think that it's alright as long as they they know what they're getting into and that both parties consented to it.
Spirited Away
Aug 2 2004, 04:14 PM
QUOTE(iheartsimba @ Jul 27 2004, 10:40 PM)
i think its completely fine. you SHOULD have sex when your ready. why miss your chance, if your in love.
im going to tell my kids that to.
i dont care about that waiting till your married sht.
Uh, that's all fine and dandy you believe in something, but don't be calling what other people believe in "shit".
I happen to believe in that "shit" for myself, even though I don't think that's going to be the case for me. Some people believe strongly in saving their virginity for someone special, and that takes a hell lot more will than giving into your physical desires.
[i]LLMATiC
Aug 2 2004, 06:34 PM
ya my moms tells me that if im gonna b havin sex that i shud b responsible `nd have safe sex wit condoms
princess2113
Aug 2 2004, 07:25 PM
QUOTE(iheartsimba @ Jul 27 2004, 10:40 PM)
i think its completely fine. you SHOULD have sex when your ready. why miss your chance, if your in love.
im going to tell my kids that to.
i dont care about that waiting till your married sht.
uhh i believe in that...its not sh*t
flip_dorkette
Aug 4 2004, 05:35 AM
QUOTE(iheartsimba @ Jul 28 2004, 12:40 PM)
i think its completely fine. you SHOULD have sex when your ready. why miss your chance, if your in love.
im going to tell my kids that to.
i dont care about that waiting till your married sht.
i`d say the same

.. and if i myself have any kids, i`ll tell them that it`s fine to have sex; as long as they`re responsible about it and i meet whoever they`re going out with to be sure that they`re not just gonna be fxcking some man-whore/slut.. i`m christian, but i`m not really into my own religion

.. so yea.. i learn from everyday life instead of obeying something all these people say you should listen to.. sex after marrige? good choice.. good choice..

but i`d say it`s up to a person if they want to save their virginity or not. i think you should save yourself for someone you know you truly care for.. ((weather you`re married or unmarried you should at least feel like you`re sure about eachother)) but hey, that`s just my oppinion.. people don`t have to keep their virginity if they don`t want to.. .. but it`d be nice.. and i`d tell my kids that it`s up to them; but it`d be appretiated by most if they`d wait.

it`s not exactly encouragment.. it`s approval and to the kid it`s a sign that they can be open about it; instead of being secretive.
Guarneri
Aug 4 2004, 05:57 AM
puhahaha... even if my parents encouraged me to go and sleep around, I WOULDN'T DO IT.
why? cause i'm smarter than that.
whomps
Aug 4 2004, 06:02 AM
QUOTE(princess2113 @ Jun 26 2004, 12:13 PM)
sume parents tell their kids its ok to have sex when their ready.....do u think thats ok??? for parents to like...encourage them to have sex? will u tell ur kids thats ok???
It's not exactly 'encouraging' them to have sex. More like.. giving them the thumbs up when they finally decide to do it. I think that's okay.
KaraBaby
Aug 4 2004, 09:45 AM
OK this is the way I think...
I think that that advice is good. If you know your parents are going to KILL you if they found out if you had sex then that's just a reason to keep it from them. Wouldnt you rahter know if your child was having sex than have her sneak around and do it behind your back? You should STRESS waiting until marriage. But don't threaten.
*trying to he helpful*
sammi rules you
Aug 4 2004, 11:15 AM
They're not really encouraging it, they're telling you not to, actually. They're saying, "If you know you're not old enough or ready for the responsibility of possibly having a kid, then don't have sex." I'll be telling my kids it's Ok to have sex when they're ready. I don't wanna be like, "YOU KIDS WILL DIE VIRGINS BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED TO HAVE SEX! RAWRRR!!!" cause that's just mean.
pbear
Aug 4 2004, 11:29 AM
^ What Sammi said.
Especially since my parents have brainwashed me into the whole abstinence thing.
I want my kids to be able to choose for themselves.
Spirited Away
Aug 4 2004, 12:42 PM
^^ Next thing you know your 10 year old will be humping his/her girlfriend/boyfriend because his/her Mom is so cool about letting him/her have sex when he/she is ready.
xtiffysweetzx
Aug 4 2004, 01:20 PM
my parents never wanted me to have sex b4 im married...bein raised dat way doesnt necessarily mean ull grow up dat way..i mean..look at me..lol...but yeah...i think kids r gonna do it anyway...parents might as well teach them bout protection n STDs n wha not
shawty_redd
Aug 4 2004, 03:26 PM
QUOTE(Mini @ Jun 27 2004, 4:16 PM)
well parents dont exactly encourage their kdis to have sex. i know my friends' parents are like i dont like it but i cant stop you, just use protection. its not really encouraging them, but if someone wants to have sex, they will no matter what their parents say. the only person who can stop you is yourself. its not like the parents are like go ahead and have sex.
i completely agree
Spirited Away
Aug 4 2004, 11:54 PM
Parents who say "have sex when you're ready" or those that do not dissuade their children from sex until they're older than 16 or 18 are basically saying "go ahead and have sex". The least you can do, as a responsible parent--or even as a mature adult, is to tell your children about the consequences of sex: STDs, unwanted pregnancy, whatnot.
Guarneri
Aug 5 2004, 03:36 AM
that's bad parenting.
if you want to be a good parent and you want your kids to grow up and become respectable persons, then you should encourage abstinence right from the beginning. abstinence will teach self discipline, higher standards and morals, self-value, commitment, and etc.
guidance is what kids need. guidance is what parents give. telling them "when they're ready" is not guiding. kids don't know what being ready is.
[i]LLMATiC
Aug 5 2004, 01:31 PM
If you think about it its not reallie encouragement . encouragement would b to buy them condoms.. my friends mom buys him condoms but yea i think its when there ready
Chlorie
Aug 8 2004, 03:40 PM
no, i think that this is how aid and hiv got started....bad parenting
Devastation
Aug 8 2004, 04:03 PM
sex is cool.
Devastation
Aug 8 2004, 04:25 PM
QUOTE(brownsugar08 @ Aug 8 2004, 4:22 PM)
and u posted on another topic about intellectual replies?
pertaining to topic: i believe in abstinence+
lol, intellectual replies dont always have to intellectual, sex is cool is refraining as either the thought of sex or in the process of it. sex pertains to either pleasure or need.
Chlorie
Aug 10 2004, 07:04 PM
You go girl...abstinence all the way!
elmogurly
Aug 11 2004, 12:15 AM
my solution...have sex when you get married. so that you can get married and say that your losing your virginity to someone that you have vowed to be with forever and ever. that's something special you can share with your spouse.
Spirited Away
Aug 11 2004, 12:28 AM
QUOTE(Devastation @ Aug 8 2004, 4:03 PM)
sex is cool.
Not when your 11 year old is having sex with her 29 year old teacher.
xmissrachiex
Aug 12 2004, 05:46 PM
i have many friends that believe in saving themselves for marriage, I respect this opinion but I don't believe in it. This opinion also includes not living with someone till you're married to them and I don't agree with this either. Marrying someone means spending the rest of your life with them, and I know that now, you can get a divorce as easily as you get married but that shouldn't affect the vows you make. Sex is a big part of a relationship and if you get married and find that you aren't happy with your wife or husband, too bad, because you're stuck with them.
This is why I believe that you should have sex when you're ready, not when you're married. If it means you're not ready till you're married, then fine, that's ok. But I don't think marriage should determine when you have sex. It should be you're own decision.
What if you're still not ready when you get married. What should you do then?
princess2113
Aug 12 2004, 08:15 PM
QUOTE(uninspiredfae @ Aug 11 2004, 12:28 AM)
Not when your 11 year old is having sex with her 29 year old teacher.

lmao
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