Dear Alice,

I've been having this problem with my girlfriend. Whenever we make out, I get the impression that she wants me to do something with her breasts... but I don't have the foggiest what to do.

I'm sure that they aren't there strictly for my enjoyment; so, what can I do with my girlfriend that would offer her some pleasure, as well?

I've tried other sources of information, but most other sources either concentrate solely on the vagina, g-spot, and clitoris, or they simply state that breasts are an erogenous zone and leave it at that.

— Clueless in Canada


Dear Clueless in Canada,

Here are some tips — that's TIPS — on breast-play along with this suggestion: ask your girlfriend how to handle, what is after all, a part of her body, as you so sensitively and respectfully pointed out in your question. As with her ears, lips, shoulders, stomach, hands, feet, yadda, yadda, yadda, you can try the following with breasts — and remember, your partner can help, too:

caress
stroke
kiss
fondle
tickle
lick
massage
moisten
blow-dry
hold
nibble
burrow
bounce
compliment cradle
dust
suck
protect
jiggle
jangle
twist
turn
name
talk
wash
woo
warm
and...?

How fortunate your girlfriend is to have a companion with the caring and courage to ask such a question. Sex play is something we learn, not a skill-set imbedded in our genes that makes us natural-born pleasuring experts. Given the intense pressure that many of our cultures put on us to automatically love like Leonardo and move like Madonna every time we're intimate, it takes a real man, or woman, to ask for directions.

Alice

but I don't have the foggiest what to do.