Honestly, the people who believe in not having sex before marriage is setting themselves for a huge risk. Why you ask? You're about to marry someone you've never had sex with, and after you're married, they are going to be your sex partner for the rest of your life.

People who say sex isn't a big deal and that important in a healthy relationship are kidding themselves. There are those who have sexual chemistry, and some who just have general personality chemistry. Also, of course you can have both. What I'm saying is that, why set yourself up for a risk and marry someone you haven't sexually experienced yet? You two could be have the best relationship and get married. However, what happens after you guys get married, and your partner totally sucks at sex? You're screwed, and stuck with that person for the rest of your life, until maybe you want a divorce. But why go through all that, and deal with the financial burden of one?

Also, it's also a good thing, to live with someone you're about to marry. Again, you're going to be with your spouse for quite some time under the same roof after you're married. I've seen too many times couples who never lived with one another, get married, and move in together for the first time. They have so much problems with living with one another.

So I say, f**k the no sex before marriage rule. Have all the sex you can get in the relationship before getting married, and know what you are getting yourself into.


edit: oops posted in wrong forums. mod move to relationship plox.

I think of it like buying a car. Must test drive.

I'm for sex before marriage.

However just to add, when you've only had one partner, you'd think he/she is great, because that's all you have.

I was, and still am to some extent, quite taken with the idea of saving myself for marriage.

Yes, there's always the test-driving analogy, but there's a lot more to be said for choosing to show a little self-restraint.

(I'm not religious in the slightest, the idea just appeals to me)

I think you'd know if you were sexually attracted to your significant other regardless of whether or not you decide to do the deed.

That being said, I'm not religious attached to the idea -- or at all for that matter. I'm just not going to jump into bed for the sake of verifying our sexual compatibility. I guess it all depends on how our relationship progresses, and how we both feel about it. Plus, I highly doubt that intelligent people in serious relationships are fickle enough to end a relationship based on mediocre performances in the bedroom. If they fail, make them better.

IMO, its special regardless of performance if you love each other.

I'm not going to choose sides because I see totally understand why people choose to save it until they are married. People want it to be a meaningful experience, so by having your "first" with someone you're married to and who is also a virgin, it's something that only you two share with each other. You know what I mean? Of course there might be times where the marriage falls apart, but that doesn't mean saving it didn't mean anything.

Honestly, it just depends on a person's perspective of what the initiation of intercourse really means to them. I've only had 1 sexual partner in the past 5 years that I've been sexually active, and fortunately things are still going well with him. Am I married? No. Should I have saved it? Maybe. But even then, I don't think I have strong enough morals to maintain abstinence until marriage. Honestly, kudos to the couples who are in relationships lasting 5+ years and both are still virgins. It shows that there isn't a dependence on sex to keep a relationship strong, although I would have to say that they are missing out on the pleasures of sex...


EDIT - and yea sorry if my answer seems a little biased, since we all know my situation.

agree with sulphur

Damn son... you're straight up Americanized.

Technically speaking, sex is all about evolution. Bringing another human into this world. It's not really supposed to be used as some sort of sport or stress reliever. Even though we can look at it that way, specially when there's protection.

What exactly made you come up with this "f**k no sex before marriage" philosophy? I thought Asians in general had more morals than this. I guess it's true, that cultures are truly dying.


I also wanna add, why not just stay a virgin til' you're married?... When you have sex for the first time with your partner, it's gonna just as great for the both of you. Then you can go ahead and pick up a karma sutra book and learn new exciting moves/positions. Or even pick up on dancing for flexibility and endurance.

Haha, its all good but yeah I have to say I agree with you and what Anisha said too. I'm not for premarital sex but I'm not against it either. It really depends on the people and the relationship. I think as long as you're being smart about it and being responsible, then go for it. Its the individual's own choice right? So yeh.
And I've only had one sexual partner as well and so far things are going well, so yeh. That just kinda ties in to what Christina said.

I think there's too much emphasis on virginity. If that's the greatest "gift" I've got, then my life is f**ked.

i guess it depends on your ethics and morals..

O_O but I thought you and....and..what was his name again? or I assumed. hahaha.

You got that right. Fuck the Vietnamese culture.

There, I said it.

Bang till your dick is sore.

Tung, did you have a bad break-up or something?

... lol

I was raised Mormon and was constantly being told to wait until I married. Since I don't believe in marriage (for myself), I didn't wait (obviously). Besides, I like sex A LOT. I like sex too much to have to be married to someone in order to have it.

No, I'm still in a relationship right now.


You go girl! Milf status.

lol one of the gravest sins... to be ashame of your skin color, race/ethnicity/culture.

Good luck to ya... and your sex adventures lol

Sins? I'm not a believer in the whole sins and good deeds stuff. I'm an atheist. Do I ever feel guilty when I "sin"? Of course, but everyone does wrong.

My sex adventures? I never dated a Vietnamese girl, but I have had sex with them. I think my sex adventures is just fine.

Haha, his name was Adrian and nope. Thats one of the reasons I kinda ended things...he pressured me in that direction in an awkward manner and just...yeah. I'm not going to get into it.

Yar.. I was generally speaking about being ashamed of your origins.



K

You're undermining the emotional aspect of sex. So you would HAVE SEX to give birth? That's taking away pleasures from it. That's like telling a person to read a book for a class, and not enjoy it. That they should only read the book during that class, and ONLY IF they are taking that class. And sex is all about evolution? LMAO. Darwinism is evolution. Let's not bring science into this. It may "not be" a stress reliever or a sport, but why tell people it cannot be? If it's something someone enjoys, no one should inhibit it. I'd much rather enjoy having sex than knowing that I have to have sex ONLY to conceive a child, kthx.


LULZ WUT? Don't stereotype us. We have morals, but it doesn't mean we're SO DIFFERENT that we can't have pre-marital sex. Oh yea and I bet you'd also say that homosexuality shouldn't happen in Asian cultures because Asians in general had more morals than this. Oh yes and Americans are so goddamn sex crazed, they have less morality! Honestly, I'm not trying to undermine those who believe in sex AFTER marriage - it's all sweet and dandy that they choose to do so, but I dislike biased views that undermine the enjoyment of sexual pleasure.

As for being Americanized... well some (or many) of us are ________ - American. Except Steph. She's like, Asian-Hispanic-Canadian. <333 lol this could be moved to debate, BUT the topic title sucks. :P

x2

I would actually bother to even give this a chance in debating this with you and actually destroy your post. But I much rather just sit back and laugh at this nonsense. Though it would be a waste of time in the first place, tryin to debate with American-(ized) youngsters.

i'm too lazy to type out my whole argument, so i'll just say i agree with agiri's and just dream's posts.

DING DING,
Christina WINS

=\

Your debates consist of like 2 sentences. Please stfu.


No I'm not... the only emotion associated to sex is either love or lust.




Uh pretty much... Lets pretend that there's no such thing as protection nor STDs. Are you goin to have sex every time you want sex? Knowing that you could get pregnant?... You're willing to risk pregnancy just for your selfish pleasure?

Speaking of pleasure, what pleasure are we taking away from having sex just for pregnancy? It's gonna feel the same regardless. The emotion of love still exists... what's missing? Stress? I hope not.. cuz you can simply meditate for relaxation.

What's not enjoyable about having sex just to birth a child?... If you find it not enjoyable to have sex in order to bring a child into this world, then you should do yourself a favor and have your tubes tied.



Actually LETS bring science into this. The only reason why sex is needed in humans is in order for evolution to exist. In order to bring more generations, in order for the human specie to exist. Obviously you fail to understand the true concept of sex.




I never said it can't be a stress reliever. But there's other alternatives to stress relief. Again if there's no such thing as protection nor STDs... you're gonna tell me that you're willing to risk having a child just to relieve some stress? LOL




If the shoe fits, I can stereo type all I want. I bet right now if I was discussing this with your earlier ancestors such as your grandparents they would agree with my posts over your posts. It quite sad that I have more knowledge of your culture (mongolian) than you, for you to sit here and claim that it's fine and dandy to have pre-marital sex. People have died in your culture because of pre-marital sex.. dummy.




Actually America is very highly sex crazed. Shit here in America industry leaders all know that sex sales. If they could display a naked group of women holding Mcdonald products in order to sell... they'd do it. Why? Because here in the U.S. sex is the thing right now. That's all everyone is ever thinking about. Some how some way... someone can associate sex with just about anything that exists.

Oh and please sex goddess... tell me what undermining I'm doin on the enjoyment of sexual pleasures. Because you're making it seem like I'm soooo against sex lol. Tell me what a couple that's not looking to have kids can enjoy more than a couple who are looking to have kids. Tell me the difference... maybe I'll take you serious and realize you're actually an adult, and not some horny lil middle school child.



Who gives a damn... I already see the destiny of America and it's people. You're all f**ked lol.

lol really? why don't you go check out the debate forum.



oh yeah, and it got you to actually attempt to reply to her, didn't it? i thought you weren't even going to bother. damn all of us american-ized youngsters.

and what the hell is your problem with sex? all you do is preach about it. i don't understand what the problem is. i also don't get your problem with america. do you live in the US? i don't get where all this dislike comes from.

You just said "sex is all about evolution", ignoring the "love" part of it. So if two people are in love, they are ONLY allowed to have sex if they consider conceiving a child?

I don't want to get pregnant. If there's no such thing as protection or STDs, yea I would still have sex.

The love still exists, but you're saying that sex should only be done so in order to give birth. Now you're taking this WAY TOO FAR because sex AFTER MARRIAGE does not necessarily mean you have to have a child. I never said I have sex as a stress reliever. Rather, that you shouldn't undermine it. You can't say what sex should and shouldn't be like. You say "oh it's not supposed to be this way, but people make it this way." Yea well who are you to go out and tell people what to do? And I'm going to ASSUME YOU ARE STILL A VIRGIN only because of your answers. Anyway, sex is actually a form of relaxation. If you've had sex before, you know what I mean. I don't have sex to feel relaxed. I do it because I am in a position where I really love the person that I am with and I like the sexual pleasure from it. RELAXATION is an EFFECT of sex. At least it is for people who enjoy it. And it doesn't matter about pregnancy. Again we need to stray away from the idea of "sex can only lead to birth." That's why you're taking away the emotional pleasures. You're just like the people who say that people should get married then have sex to have children and that's it. What about the people who get married and DON'T WANT CHILDREN?!

I don't want children, KTHX. Yea I would get my tubes tied, but I'm going to wait until "science" develops more further and it's a safer procedure. I wish I could get my tubes tied easily. It's easier and less of a risk for a man to get a vasectomy (and reversible) compared to women getting their tubes tied.

Who are you to tell me what the "true concept" of sex is? I can define it however I like. We all have different perceptions of what sex is, and why we do it. Are you going to tell me that EVERYONE has sex to conceive children? If so, you're dead wrong.

I'm NOT Mongolian, kthxbye. lol Oh please don't group me with the people who have sex with anyone they can get. It's the fact that people aren't truthful with each other, that AIDS and other fallible diseases spread. It's that people aren't using protection. Oh and if you're going to bring in "science" into this, consider children who grow up and are virgins. They get married. Then they have sex and have children, who have diseases. If you've taken Genetics, you'll know that sex passes on GENES as well that result in diseases, where people die, such as through recessive traits and percentage penetrance of such diseases. Let's not take this too far though, as these scientific tangents can confuse people.

Obviously you don't know about the crzy shit that happens in Asian or Europe. Nude beaches, pornographic magazines in VENDING MACHINES (Asia, maybe even "Mongolia"!), etc. I could care less about the sex craze of America, as I don't buy into the hype. Like I said dont' stereotype because everyone is different. Just because I'm American, you're going to say that I'm one of the people who constantly look at porn and such? Of course sex sells. When does it NOT? But so what? You're making this into a bigger deal than it really is, you know that. Yes I am saying that you seem like you're SOOO AGAINST SEX THAT DOES FOCUS ON BIRTH-GIVING.

Okay you want me to tell you wht a couple that's not looking to have kids can enjoy more? I'm going to say freedom. The freedom of having sex whenever they choose so without the inhibition of knowing that "oh yea I'm only having sex to have a child." AGAIN I ASK: What about the married couples who do NOT want children? YOu are focusing this too much on childbirth. You have such high expectations for people that you don't even understand how DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES.

Oh, you're "treating me" like a middle school horny child? Well then I guess I'll just treat you like an elementary school child runs the chance they hear the word "cooties!"

What's with all the sexual repression? I don't get it (and yes, I've read every word in this thread).

You really think that America is all that sex crazed? Because it really isn't. At least not for women.

I'm at work and get respond much more, but man, it's like not only do we have to feel a social stigma if we're not inhibited but we're being accused of being sex crazed?

LUL WIN WUT? MOTM? JayKay.

a ding ding, silly!

Besides the quotation above, I pretty much agree with you Sure I have nothing against those who wish to wait I personally cannot do that.

It freakin reminds of the Marie Antoinette movie & how she was in an arranged marraige(virgin) & for many yrs her husband never touched her. I think she only had sex with him 2 times in their whole marraige (before the family was killed off ).Of course because of this lack of "marital duties" she cheated

If I were honestly in the situation as Marie Antoinette, I'd probably do the same thing

Wait... you're not even Asian yet your avatar screams Mongolian?... You're all screwed up. "kthnxbye" LOL what a child.


Anyone else have the same opinion as this person and can better explain their opinion? I think this person's angry to the point of not understanding by adding more to the argument than needs be. If that makes any sense.

no, it doesn't make sense. she makes perfect sense. sorry :(

Actually she's twisting and adding more to my argument.
Nor is she properly answering the questions... this looks like nothin more but rambling/ranting.

So I'll check once in a while for a proper argument against my post.

Are you stupid? Of course she's Asian, but she's not Mongolian. Mongolians are a group of people that specifies several ethnic groups from parts of Russia, Mongolia, and China. Not all Asians are from these places dipshit.

Someone move this to debate. It seems more of a debate thread now.

I agree that you shouldn't necessarily wait till you are married to have sex. I don't think it would be good to be stuck in a marriage where the sex sucked. Also, I don't think you can really tell if the sex will be any good if you haven't had it.

But for those people that do want to wait, even though thats not what I would do, go for it!

And I completely agree with just_dream. I would add to her argument but I can't think of any other way to say what she's saying.

GRANTED

I am not angry. I am justifying my arguments much better than you are, but I guess I shouldn't expect much form such a close-minded person. I am most certainly not rambling. I am not twisting your words -- just taking it as it is. If you can't even defend yourself against my argument, then I have nothing more to say to you about it. If anything, you're the one rambling and going off on tangents, Mr. Sex = Evolution = Childbirth. :]


Oh and yes I am Asian. I am just not Mongolian. Sorry I don't meet up to your expectations of a typical Asian. :] Oh and my avatar screaming "Mongolian"?

There's not enough Christian fanaticism in this thread. I'll fill in.


First off, those who comment and say "Yeah, but if you wait 'till marriage to get laid, you'll have horrible sex, and it'll be nasty! No one will know what to do!" My arguement against that is that if you don't know what sex is, you have nothing to compare it to. Besides, you can always get better at sex when you do it a lot with your spouse.

Just because I'm waiting for a certain someone to marry before I have sex doesn't mean I don't like sex. In fact, I'll probably have sex with my wife three times a day, after each meal. (With probably some extra quickies between.) There seems to be a stereotype that just because I waited for marriage, that I don't like sex or something.

Also, I figured since tamadouchebag is Muslim, that he'd understand that sex isn't just to conceive. It's to enjoy between a wife and husband. Wtfux?

Nothing to really debate about, it's just expression of opinion with the occasional dumbass posting.

Not only high, but unrealistic.

Look, I understand that many people believe in chastity before marriage and I respect that ideology. I just don't share in that belief nor do I have any feelings of guilt for not waiting until marriage. As I stated before, I don't care for marriage and if I had waited, I'd still be a virgin (and of course wouldn't have my child). Having said that, I by no means had sex for the exclusive sake of having a child. Trust me, I was in a state of shock when I saw those "two pink lines" and what Christina said about "freedom" is something I've definitely experienced.

I do not begrudge or belittle individuals because they strongly believe in waiting. I also wouldn't recommend condemning people for satisfying innate carnal needs and urges if they decide that there is no need to wait or decide that marriage isn't for them. I do wonder how many people wait because it is something they feel strongly about or wait out of fear (of God, religion, etc.)

pretty much.

i waited a year. then i f**ked my boyfriend all the time. yea. its true. his dick is the perfect size, not too small, still too big lol.

agreed.

But keep in mind.. I never said anything "against" that. It was the crazy female who threw that into the argument when it wasn't even first mentioned nor needed in the argument.

Of course, that post came from the Girl's Locker. Those poor stigmatized women.

LOL@VIRGIN CHRISTIAN WIFE WANTING TO HAVE SEX 3 TIMES A DAY

sorry but i just dont believe in saving yourself for marriage it seems like a BAD idea and will probably lead to divorce and shame for getting a divorce!

P.S. Yes, please do "f**k" me "before marriage."

(I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. The title was far too perfect)

too hairy

Oooh, it took me ages to get that. Nice.

STOP MOVING THIS