Sometime it really feels like the harder you try the more you fail. No matter what I do if I take one step forward, if I even lift my foot to take a step forward, there are crazy shadow demons that come just to knock me on my ass. That saying "when it rains, it pours" is no f*cking joke. I work every day, I pay my bills, I do good by people, I'm nice to people that are mean to me, I don't stab people in the back but every day some one new is f*cking me over, every day something beyond my control happens that f*cks up everything, every f*cking day new problems arise. I wish life were kind of like a tv show, I'd come across a problem and then half an hour later everything would be back to normal, but no. I have to work for money that I owe out, for a car a can't drive anymore, that I can't afford to fix because I owe all my money out, pay for gas so someone else can take me back and forth to work, constantly pawn my shit so that I have money to get things I need like food because I don't have any money left over after paying all my bills.
I really do try, but lately I've been feeling like I should be a bitch and rip people off all the time, lie to them and use them just for the hell of it because people do that shit to me. But, I guess I don't really have that in me. I'm a mean bitch, but I'm not completely hearless.

I just want things to get better.

Dear Createblog Diary!

It's me again! Today was such a TOTAL drag! I TOTALLY put on my hooker heels that make me a gazillion inches taller and my lab instructor didn't say a THING! He was all "blah blah blah, you can't wear those in the lab!" No comment about how sexy my toenails were! What a complete jerk, right?

Whatever.

TTFN,
ME!

Dear CB Diary,

I climbed Mount Everest today. It was cold.

Love,
B.

Dear CB Diary,

I have some serious issues. No matter how hard I try, I just can't stop procrastinating. I really need to finish my homework, so my dad won't bitch when I watch Gossip Girl. Plus, I have to study, clean room, etc.

I also feel kind of awkward. My friend told me that the guy I thought was really hot and awesome, is gay. Lyke, wtf man. I think he's lying though D: He does those kinds of things to make me feel bad. Yeah, what kind of friend does that? Freals, mon. I'm going to give doing homework another shot. Heh, I wish.

-Olivia

Dear CB Diary,
Finally the end of the debate season. Freshman year totally sucks. Its freezing up here. 100 People coming over for a party. great...
Finally I have an FTP server. I don't need to carry a flash drive around.

Dear cB diary,

I kind of wish he hadn't come. Now, I can't stop thinking about everything I was thinking about before I left...everything came rushing back. I almost started crying once I saw him...I still just don't know, I really don't and I hate being so unsure. The only thing I'm sure of right now is that love or not...I miss him. I miss what we had. I just miss him so damn much. And yet I also can't stop thinking about other people...f*ck I hate this. I hate how I feel. Godammit...worst Christmas in awhile...I wish I was still in California...it made me forget for the most part.

Dear cB diary,

Feeling better as opposed to last time.





I haven't giggled this much in awhile. hah.

Dear Cb Diary,

I had the weirdest dream last night that I was wearing a skirt and I'd forgotten to shave my legs

Then it was TOLO, and the theme was some sort of Baroque thing, yet it was held outside. I was wearing a gold dress. My friends and I were playing catch in the street in our dresses. The ball flew and it hit B___ (dressed as some sort of jester/harlequin) who turned around and looked at me with those eyes... Strange.

dear cb diary,

i would like a pikachu for my birfday

dear cb diary,


i can't believe you cheated on me with all these other cb members. I mean, eleven pages from other members, this is sick

i'm burning you when I get the chance

dear cb diary,

i hope when i become a dollar menu millionaire, i will buy juna everything he wants on that shit. after he gets me a pikachu, of course!

dear cb diary


why u do dis to me

dear cb diary,

because u da best! u deed it. o wait i did.

dear cB diary,

i wish the person can upload the picture already! i'm dying to see it! by the way, is it ever possible that he might be that person? :/ i don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve. ugh, just wishing<3~

Dear cB Diary,

I get that the inauguration is a big deal, but must there be so many crazy b*tches overreacting about it? Crying while watching it in school just screams attention whore.

Dear cb diary,

my room was messy. now it's clean.
and obama is the president.
i don't like diaries.

ok bye.

dear cb diary,

i'm driving to maja's store for pepshi. why am i sooooo fat!? pwomise to run next week! sike.

fatass4lyf

dear cb diary,

today I learned that sike can be such a powerful word



for example:
Good morning everybody. Firstly, to all of Sandy's family, from my family to yours, our deepest sympathies and condolences. I think this memorial should be a joyful one, and not mournful one. We, after all, have to keep in mind who we are here to celebrate, and what he would have preferred. I hope somebody will speak today of the specifics of what Sandy achieved as a hobo and world renown animal-lover, but all I can do today is talk directly to my friend, Sandy.

Your passing has suspended reality for all of us. It was way too soon, and completely unfair on all accounts. I know as heartless as you said you always were, that you would still be pleased to know that the world sends its love and that people all over this planet have been grieving. We've all lost a friend, we've lost a champion, and we're gonna take some time adjust to that.

I'm in New York, - the big city - and you have been headline news on CNN for a week. There are not many Zoo keepers who would command that attention. And all that means is that you got your message across. You got the word out there. And you were heard. And you will be remembered.



















SIKE
SIKE
SIKE

you ain't dead yet

Dear Cb Diary,

The more and more I think about it, the more I question my wanting to f*ck that chick. She is more needy than a crackwhore on the first of the month.

dear cb diary,

I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE

Dear CB Diary,

Wow, cockblock my girl. Two can play at this game though.

Dear cB diary,

What do I dooooo.....!?
Blah.

dear cB diary,

hopefulllyyy, i'll be able to play my game tomorroww! dang, arm is giving out on me, oh wellll. quarterback's rivarly!

dear cb diary,

i'm sick and it pisses me off.

Dear CB diary,

school sukcs.



and according to that^ i'm not learning much...

dear cb diary,

todai i woke up, poopeed, 8 burekfist, poopeed agen, wokked downstars, wokked bak urp da stars n 4 dat, i wish rly hard 4 n elyvaytr. i hop n e body stalkin muh post tink muh lyf iz berry interestin. i hope dis gurl kals me bak ore elz i b 2 ronery, mebbe she giv meeh da wrung # tho. i deed dat to sum beezie da otha dai so dis culd b kurma, is dat wat u kall it? da otha nite dey wurr tryin mic meeh watch kitties blow urp in da mikrowave. i be on dat kryp2nite, strait urp on dat kryp2nite.

tyme an' tyme again i gutta turn bak round an' tell dese hoes

Dear cb diary,
Sandy is my hero.

With much love,
Wendy

dear cB diary,

i hate stressing myself out, blech, i needa life haha. although, i do it because i know without it. i won't be a smart nerd like every other asian out there ;]!

hopefully, i can last it. wish me luck, bye.

Dear Cb Diary,

I miss my old English class The new one was almost painful to sit through. If you don't know how to pronounce the Greek names, at least try to sound like you know what you're doing. And try not to smirk at the various sexual themes. The guy beside me is kind of interesting though.

Sad that I won't have lunch with everyone though. That's about the only time I had to see them.

The J thing was overplayed... I really need to start figuring out the difference between friendliness and actual "interest."

did you write that shit? i don't bereev you did.

DEAR CB DIARY,

MY BATH TUB IS FINALLY UNCLOGGED. NO IT WASN'T JUST MY HAIR, BROTHER 2.

Dear CB Diary,

I love my boyfriend.
I wish I knew what to do with my life.
I wish it was summer more than anything.
I'm tired of such a repetitive lifestyle.
School blows.
I have so much work to do...
Blegh.

Dear Cb Diary,

I feel like such a failure right now... Even my friends are drifting away, even more. Senior year might just end on a bad note after all.

dear cB diary,
im cold

dear cb diary

f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money
f uck bitches get money

wow youre cool

Dear cB Diary,

When I die
and come back to our Earth
as a minority
I will come back to Earth
as a fortunate AZN
carrying my groceries & macbook
in relevant product packaging
to differentiate myself from
the generic AZNs
not the ‘good in school’ AZN
but the ‘express myself via art+fashion’ AZN
the fortunate AZN
without dictatorial parents

dear cb diary,

shitaki mushrooms
shitaki mushrooms
shitaki mushrooms
shitaki mushrooms
shitaki mushrooms
shitaki mushrooms
shitaki mushrooms
shitaki mushrooms
shitaki mushrooms

r amazin

Dear cB,
If I ever get to show love to Boxxy, I would have to cover her face with a brown bag.
Maybe if she stops a little, a plastic bag would suit fine.

Dear cB diary,
Chloroform is a bitch

dear cb diary,

i wanted to know how you got those scars

dear cb diary,

i just realized how much i don't like the the jonas brothers. lolol

dear cb diary,

i hate feeling emo. i hate feeling like shit. i hate caring and not caring about the wrong things.


i just want out of here. away from the people who don't seem to care anyways.

dear cb diary,

so much fun stuff has happened this summer, and i'm happy when i'm out and about.

being at home leads to me thinking too much, therefore getting emo about stupid things.
they don't help the situation either.

fcuk, i don't want to deal with this shit anymore.

Dear CB diary,

I now know why the past five years of my life has sucked. Thank you, God, for blessing me with such a horrible disorder.

My life sucks.

Melanie.

dear cB diary,
what a wondewrful, creative, music-filled day. i only wish they'd all be like this.

Dear cB Diary,

Twin Towers Skate Spot. Tomorrow. at 7:30. hellz yeah.

Dear cB Diary,

Today at work, Jared told me his ID, so I don't have to call Matt up to the front every time I f*ck up. Which won't be often anymore, I swear.

Anywhore, it was nice, much better than Monday. Some poor middle-aged woman slipped on the wet floor and dislocated her knee. It looked cool.

I'll write again later.

xoxo

Liv

(I don't really write like this, I swear.)

Dear cB diary,

I HATE TOURISTS SO MUCH!
Especially the ones who don't know where they are going half the time or are just assholes on the road. Usually takes me 20 minutes to get home from the movies, took me a half freaking hour!
I refuse to drive anywhere tomorrow!

Love Natalie.

Dear CB Diary,


This one kid called me a f*g. I proceeded to punch him in the face, particularly right in between his baby blues. Turns out this kid is a master in Brazilian Taijitsu so using his rather impressive ninja skills, he dodges my attack and somehow manages to get his foot up to my head and lands a solid blow to my right cheek. I'll admit, it hurt, but I used the pain and converted it into rage. I delivered an attack towards his stomach and I manage to strike the bastard. He falls down on his knees in pain and I use that opportunity to grab the hair on top of his head and force it down upon my bare knee. Granted, this was a mistake as I have now damaged my knee. I limp back a little but I regain some strength, but suddenly, I feel a fierce attack come in contact to my left hip and it left me breathless. I laid there on the ground, like a helpless dying animal. The kid bends over me and I begin to have many thoughts running through my mind. Thoughts of what I can do and thoughts of what could happen to me if I couldn't do anything. Out of nowhere, I see a bright, shimmering light that seems to be reflecting off a sharp, steel weapon. Now, my adrenaline is pumping through my veins and I make use of the temporary energy. I get back up quickly and spot the knife in the kid's right hand. He comes in quickly towards me, perhaps aiming for my throat. I duck down and use one thing that can come in handy in certain fights, a massive strike to the kid's testicles. He drops the weapon and yells in pain as he falls down to his demise. I retrieve the weapon and realize I now have the ability to kill this son of a bitch. Although, I was exhausted and felt generous today, so I spared his life but reminded the kid something. I spoke only a few words, but enough to make sure that he would watch where he stepped. I told him I would not harm him, but if he continues on with the battle, then I will have no choice but to cut his limbs off one by one, slowly. As I expected, he responses with an answer of no, and says it rather frightened. I leave his dismantled body but I keep the knife, just in case. As I get closer to home, I stop by for a cheeseburger. It was good. I get up to leave and as I near the door, I realize the cashier was my defeated opponent's brother, judging by his last name and his identical appearance. I take a glance and think of what would happen tomorrow, but I decide to keep my mind off it. I arrive home and finally, I sit down to my desktop. Now what's done is done. I almost look forward to tomorrow.

That is all.






P.S. - I found cherry pie in my fridge! >=D

dear cB diary,

i honestly don't know what's up with this kid, it's driving me insane.

p.s, i hope i don't fall too hard.