Dear cB diary,


Too many things on my mind about the future. I hate this.
So many things I wish but I know will never be...

Dear CB Diary,

there is so much on my mind.
i bearly passed my science test, but i did it.
i have a history test tomarrow and its driving me crazy. it keeps sneeking up into the corner of my mind when i least expect it.
YAY
time for lunch

XOXO

Bia

i love music!!

Dear CB diary,

My weekend was great. On Saturday, my friends and I went to Disneyland. We had fun, except when parents were getting irratated of us. Oh well, they can go suck it. We're at the happiest place on earth. Bite me.
Anywho.

Today was actually okay. It was my birthday so my friends brought me gifts :D that was all fun.
Then it came to softball practice. We had to practice with the JV girls. They aren't as good as I thought. We had scrimmages and whatnot, then it came to conditioning. I was so tired after we did the half-perimeter indian run. Man, those were tiring. I'm completely EXHAUSTED

dear cb diary,

i KNOW i passed my history test! yay! i am so bored right now...i dont know what i should type about...mabey about how my arm iches of how i have a health essay due tomarow and i havent started it, or mabey how my stomach is telling me to feed it. Or mabey i shall talk about how happy i am that my littel sister and dad are going to go ice fishing for two days,leaving just me and my mom, a tube of popcorn, and step up 2,while they sit in an ice shanty all day. on a lake, in the FREZING cold.
they leave tomarow!
YAY!!!!
does that make me sound mean...?????


oOoOoOOo lunch bell,
X's and O's

Bia

Dear CB Diary,

Things are getting easier. I'm seeing Ian every two weeks now so I no longer feel like such a yo-yo, or that I'm between worlds so much. It means I'll be spending less time here, though.

Dear CB Diary,
thank freaking peanut butter for the easy breaks lately. except the stress over tiny little things. why must i freak over something i know can be accomplished so easily? i just want Mandi back, this whole thing is getting out of control. fix their stupid ass car, give them a house when they get here, and let us actually have options for this weekend. I JUST WANT TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND.

dear CB diary

my feet are cold....

Dear cB Diary,

I'm SO glad it's break! I seriously need to catch up on sleep, school, relationships, etc. I'm just kind of.. unsure about him? I think we need to go on a little break because.. it's just not working out. But he's so "stubborn"

dear cbd,

this week has been pretty weird.
i was only semi looking forward to valentine's day, and it turned out boring. partially because i didn't get what i was expecting/wanting/looking for. sigh. guys don't get hints. :[

Dear CB Diary,
erghhh, this week was supposed to be amazing. i hate you. thanks for the three and a half day break, though. i can probably get a lot of my projects done.

Dear CB Diary,

I'm so happy that I made JV softball! This season is going to be fun, as long as I stay on V_____'s good side. Hahaha. Well tomorrow we're going over to A__'s house to make our shirts to wear to school before game days.
I'm so glad that B___ didn't make JV. UGH, NO one likes her. She's too conceited, and she thinks that none of us deserve JV. Oh well, how does it feel to get owned by 3 freshmen. (:

Dear CB Diary,
holy cow munchers. the weather. just make it go away.
and hurry with the deliverence of the best friend, please. i miss her.
Love,
"Thing".

Dear Cb Diary

I have became nocturnal I am on Cb during the night and sleeping during the day. thanks to my vacation time. I'd rather be on a trip to Walt Disney Land or Walt Disney World. But thanks to the lack of money I wont be able too.

Dear cB Diary,

I didn't think my English grade could become a C so soon this quarter. If it weren't for this stupid fucking research paper, I'd be okay. I just don't know how I'm gonna get through this shit.

Dear cB Diary,

That's around $230 As much as I want it, I don't think I'm allowed to.. ugghhlakjlksdf

Dear Createblog,

This past weekend was the worst ever. Being 3 days long, I intended to get something fun done. But I guess that didn't happen. All 3 days I was forced to wake up early and do the most boringest things. Today I could have gone out with my friends but I reluctantly rejected that because I'm almost sure my mom or dad wouldn't let me. I can't believe they think I go out too much. I DON'T. I hardly do. I hate them for not understanding that. I don't think they ever will.

Dear cB Diary,

oh, shit!!!! i have to memo this stupid shakespear quote thing that is
17 lines long.....grr its due tomarrow



bia

Dear cBD,

Sooo, the past few weeks have been crap. I have tons of fun, but at the end of the day, every thing's just.. wrong...? I don't know why I still hang out with this hypocritical bitch who does nothing except for complain about liking a new guy every week. I guess I hint that I don't want to be around her a lot, especially to M, but she doesn't get it. She's too freaking nice. She needs to start being a bitch, gaah. I've had this whole conversation in my head of telling him I like him, but the day where I say, "I'M GOING TO TELL HIM TODAY!" I chicken out and do nothing except for make myself look like a total idiot. I don't want to creep him out, but I don't want him to not know either. There's so many pros and cons to both sides but it's just so frustrating. I'm tired of all the bitches in 6th talking behind my back. I'm tired of researching my paper. I'm tired of idiots who always run to me only when they need something. GAAAH.

Dear cB diary,

Sigh. At least its sunny now...finally.

School is a bitch. I hate so many things about it right now, its not even funny. I really wanna go to JC now but...I don't have a clue how that would work out or if I would even get in...why must education be so damned complicated? I mean really. Half of it is so ridiculously pointless anyways. Blahhhh. I feel so...lost. Ew, how emo. Seriously though, school is just really frustrating.
That and the fact there are so many things I want to do but just...aren't gonna happen...at least not for awhile anyways. Sigh. I wanna model so bad! And dance more. And move out.


Too much to think about as usual.

Dear cB Diary,

Oh my goodness. She needs to know how DESPERATE she seems. What was she thinking? I don't really care whether he likes her or not. And honestly.. I think he's a little scared now? First, she sends him a picture of her through her phone and forces him to make that his phone wallpaper. Next, she calls him and tells him that she's right in front of his house. She walks up to his door and puts things in his mailbox. Wtf?

Dear CB Diary,

Today was fun. Had some scrimmages this morning. Then went to lunch at the pizza place after. I threw a crumpled napkin at a cute guy. Then, he came and sat with us. (:

Tonight should be fun. Can't wait :D

Dear cB Diary,

I swear, if he comes into my room ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to f**king kick his ass. He's so annoying. I can't stand him anymore. alsdkjfalsdkf

Dear CB diary,

I haven't had a real conversation with her for way too long. I don't know if she's avoiding me or if it's all accidental. I'm tired of it.

Dear cB diary,

I need summer so, so badly.

Sigh. I'm so sore and tired...good kind of sore from that class, but damn...I'm tired. And it sucks cause I have so much shit to do tonight. UGH.

Not enough time in the day and why is sleep so good!? Haha. =p

dear cb diary,

internal assessments are due next week. tok paper and extended essay. i honestly haven't started revising my tok paper or my extended essay.
oh shit. :\

advice: don't do ib, ever.

i need to graduate already. june 5th.
i can't wait for college.

dear cb diary,
i have no time for myself anymore. i am constantly going and going. i feel like shit and i wanted to call in sick. i keep coughing and caughing and it hurts like hell.

i am so bored that i might start to cry.

today is not my day


bia

Dear cB diary,


My motivation doesn't exist anymore.

Dear cB Diary,

I feel like I'm living a lie or something. High school's been pretty much crap so far and it's not like I really have time to take out all my frustrations on the court anymore with boys season coming up. I'm sick sick of all my friends and how boring they are and their lack of common sense. Honestly there's nobody that interests me here and every day is long and dreadful. Sure, there are some funny moments, but most of it is just.. nothing. Nobody stays after school to hang out and lunch is just sitting and staring at each other. What happened to everyone telling me high school is so fun and awesome? I don't see anything or anyone interesting at all. Maybe I'm going through the "I'm-wiser-and-smarter-than-my-peers-phase" again. Bleh.

Dear createBlog Diary,

So how have I been feeling lately? To be honest, I've been feeling extremely tired. I hate that I never get enough sleep and that I'm always exhausted in the mornings. Ever since this year, my eyes have been growing more and more bags by the day. I wish there were more hours in the day in which I could sleep longer. :( I guess we all can't get what we want.

Track & Field is starting at our school. I don't know why, but I just don't have enough strength to do this. I hope that I can make it next week for practice. I really want to do this but I just.... I just can't. Weird, isn't it? I'll definitely go to practice next week, even if I have to drag my ass there. I'm going to really try to commit to this and stick this out. >_>;; at least I hope I can.

I think I need a vacation away from this madhouse. Everything they do some how pisses me off. They're always nagging me about how I'm so different from my sister, and saying this and that and comparing me to her and him. I mean seriously. If you were in my position and you were told that you weren't as good as someone, you'd feel like complete shit. Thanks for being so consideration you shitfaces. >:O. Okay, I didn't mean the shit face part. >_> Even if you guys drive me crazy, I still love you guys with all my heart.

My bestfriend has gone to a camping trip and everything's sort of weird. I miss her so much and I wish she could be here right now so we can talk. I hope she's having fun and hopefully getting bitten by bugs. Just kidding. I'm glad that you're only gone for three days, but I won't see you until Monday. I hope you come back safely. I love you.

Things never go the way I want it. *sigh*

Dear cBd,
Holy !@#$. I feel like there is something I'm missing, something I need to let out. Yet I can't figure out what it is. I hope I'm not being too overreacted on what he thinks about me and it's hard to tell. But it's also rude to ask. Man, I never know how to put things into words anymore. I'm lost.

Dear cB diary,

i am having a WONDERFUL day!!! i feel like skiping...except for the fact that im to sleepy and im in school . i am so sure that Jackson likes me!
..or mabey im dreaming
*sigh*


KISS KISS

bia

holy shitface!
ahhhh i can't even find the words. i'm so happy! school is OMG, where would i be without my theatre ensemble? the program is getting so intense i love it. and dance competitions!! i'm so excited for stage and lyrical, they're TOTALLY my style. and singing concerts!! i'm so glad i stuck with it, i'm improving so much. and F!!! it was SO good to see her tonight. and good thing sales are picking up again cuz i need $$. and clubbing last week! holy crap i can't even handle how many men sometimes:P. but speaking of which!!! i'm excited. we get along so well. but we'll see what happens. the plays i'm gonna see!!! so fun:). and the date this week, it was sweet, nice that he was back in town. and the love, that more than anything. they're the friends that have become my lifeline. like i had in high school except now in a new chapter in my life:). and my car is running splendidly. i'm glad having my freedom back. and the city of wine festival! omg my career is taking off. well possibilities anyway. but i can try at least. omg i'm so f**king happy. life spoils me. definitely the trying times but we get through it. i should sleep though. otherwise this cold will never go away. ahhhhhhhh!!!!! *runs across a meadow*

Dear cB Diary,

What is her problem? She only gives two days notice. I can't even buy her a proper gift and a card. This is SO disorganized. We're barely doing anything, either. I'm not even close to ready. I have SO much f**king homework this weekend and with this.. oh my god.

ciao CB,
sono sleepy e per quelli di voi che stanno leggendo questo, ottenete un e-biscotto. sono così persona difettosa... che non desidero visitare il mio tomarrow dei grandparents. desidero appena sedersi nel paese e me ho alesato.
amore Bianca

Dear cB Diary,

I think ProudLeechLover is Italian. And I've never known that. :]

Love, Mark

diario caro dei CB,
sì, contrassegno sono....are voi?
bianca di amore


aka:
dear CB diary,
yes, Mark i am....are you?

love bianca

Dear cB Diary,

I think ProudLeechLover's onto me. Shed your pages beneath shadows! She thinks I'm Italian. No .. no .. I'm Filipino!

Sincerely, Mark

dear cb diary,

i ne ver would have guesed that by the look of mark's picture, he wasnt itlian. thanks cB Diary!

love
bianca

P.S. and FYI to mark, i have a name. and it not proudleechlover :)

Dear cB diary,

Excuse me while I dropkick your face. Blah. Its people like you and you and you and blah blah that make me lose all faith in humanity. But anyways.
Rock Band is awesome. School is not.

Yaaay, Monday tomorrow.

Work was okay this weekend. At least I know I'm definitely a better employee than most there. Jeez.

dear cb diary,
NO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love
bianca


p.s. my hair looked AMAZING!

Dear cB diary,

School is a D R A G is killing me slowly and painfully. I have no idea how im going to pass anatomy, my professor hates me and most of the people in that class are doctors (already). I never know the answer to anything and as well as i may do on my homework when it comes to tests i BOMB. Im seriously considering changing majors, but if i did that then i wouldnt really be "true to myself". im just so confused. I don't want to drop it just because i feel like i cant do it.

We'll see where the wind blows and what i end up doing my mom said she didn't really care what i did as long as i had a four year degree, which makes it easier for me because im done with my associates now i just have to focus on long-term.

Obstetrics & Gynocology. Maybe if i say it enough my degree will magically appear. you think?

Maybe i wont deliver babies after all.

dear cb diary,

i haven't written in here since august 2006! (i checked, haha). WOW, how things have changed! well, not that much, but still.

school is school. hard, but it's going to be so unbelievably harder next year when i take physics and chem. and a million other credits. ughh, i know i want to take my pre-med requirements for ME, so i know i gotta do this!!

i don't know how i feel about living with payal and dicle next year. i love them to death, but that could be a problem since they already have qualities that i'm not too fond of. and i am so sure that i have qualities that they don't particularly like as well. all i know is that i am really happy that i'm not going to be a resident advisor next year because as much as i love my residents, i just DON'T want to do it again. it felt good to actually say that aloud last semester.

the research lab is going okay. i have always had mixed feelings about my lab coordinator because it seems like she talks down to me sometimes. maybe because i'm one of the youngest there, or she can't get into grad schools..i just don't know. but on the other hand, she made me feel SO much better today because she totally understood my problems with the debriefing. i'm kind of nervous about officially starting my own project next week!

okay, boys. i know this is a total excuse, but i seriously cannot find time to even think of them, let alone go out and try to meet one. gosssh, i cannot wait until summer. even though i know it will probably be busy then as well.

k, that's enough for now!

~teesa

Dear cb Diary,

Not having a job is having its advantages!

dear cb diary... hes in love.......

bia

dear cbd,
i want to see those eyes. i want to see that smile, i want to see that look. i want to hear your words. i want to sit with you. everything reminds me of you.

Dear createBlog diary,

So today was the first day of track practice, and oh man, I haven't done that much running in like.... ever! Shit, I'm so sore and tired from it and after practice was over, I had horrible cramps and my legs were pulsing so bad. My heart was pumping hella hard too. I'm glad I went though, I needed to do this, for myself. I love being lazy and just lounging around, but I needed to get off my fat ass lol.

I'm really anxious to see how my grades came out. Why? Cause I hope I get a 4.00 this time. :). I'm pretty sure I'll get all A's but I'm just not sure about History and dance class, seeing as I never do work, but my History teacher told me that I turned in all my work (as surprising it sounds) and my dance teacher probably hates me after I gave her a good "f**k you." Oh how I love teachers. Not.

-vinity

Dear cB diary,

I hate lack of sleep and getting sick. AGAIN. Grrr. But at least its almost the weekend, and sushi tonight!

But yeh. I'm getting pretty irritated with some of the people around me at school. I guess thats what happens when you spend a little too much time with the same people. Sigh.

Dear CbD.

it seems like everyone wants to be a doctor now. That upsets me. a l o t. Before i left school i made sure that no one even knew what "Pre-Med" meant. If i'm going through all this f**king trouble and i see one more person in my ob_132 class i'm going to scream. Okay so i'm being a little selfish but i KNOW that half the people going into obstetrics are not doing it for the love of it. they're doing it because well 200k a year is way better than 100k. f**k YOU ALL.

Im sick of writing about school so ive decided i won't. Miguel works and works and i'm still not seeing the fruits of his labor. I miss those long hot summer days at the beach, partying it up drinking it down, i miss the slow kisses and the long hugs, now it seems like i see him 20 minutes and he's got to go, kisses are fast and hugs are short. this sucks. I want a new life. I want this life i'd just like it to be a little more flexible on the hours (and the homework).

I started yaz today because obviously children are not in our immediate future. One scare is enough to make me drive to the local PP and get some birth control.

this is how my life is right now -> dfghsdufgheruygeriuybg.

im so stressed out.

Dear createBlog Diary,

I'm still sick. Damn, I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate being sick. x__x. I've been eating medicine for a few days and I'm still sick, just not as much anymore. I hope I get well soon. >__<. AND WTFFFF man. I hate ordering shit online. It takes so f**king long to ship over here and I've been waiting so damn long for it. LIKE WTF %#&@%!. Yes, I have raging hormones right now because of __. I experienced horrible cramps yesterday and my day has just been a mess. x_x. Here goes the cramps, again.

-superficial