Nov 7 2007, 12:51 AM
my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year now.
we have yet to say "i love you"
for the first few months it was alright actually it was good to not say "i love you" because every other couple has and we rather wait until it is "real"
but now it's been a year and we haven't said it yet.
i've brought it up yet and he said he does like me a lot, but he isn't going to marry me. and in his perspective he won't call it love until he knows he wants to marry the girl.
so i don't know. i think i love him. but i guess we just see it differently. i don't think i'm going to marry him either. i mean we're both only 18 right now. just started university i don't want to plan that far ahead.
but i don't want to be in a relationship where it's not going to progress anymore emotionally.
so how long is too long for you?
Nov 7 2007, 12:53 AM
11 inches is too long.
Nov 7 2007, 01:32 AM
No such things as length.
Nov 7 2007, 07:13 AM
How long ? That really depends.
But it sounds you're not really serious yet, even not after a year.. If that's fine with you, you shouldnt be bothered by the I love you thing. Isnt he looking for something more casual, and you for something more serious?
Nov 7 2007, 07:39 AM
My boyfriend had crushed on me for three years before I started dating him, so for him his love was quite 'mature' and he started to say he loved me several weeks into our (still ongoing!) relationship. That kinda wigged me out a little bit and I refused to believe him until I could return that sentiment in kind. For us, a mutual proclamation of love was about a few months of dating. By dating I mean seeing each other every day.
For you, you might want to really asses how you feel about this guy. Admittedly, it took me a long time to realise I loved, and still do, my boyfriend so it could be you're not yet 'there' emotionally.
But dating for a year and he hasn't said he loves you...it could be that he's just a bit shy to admit it. He hasn't broken up with you, has he? Perhaps you should take the plunge and really tell him how you feel.
Do you love him?
Nov 7 2007, 09:19 AM
Well, marriage is ultimately the reason you date. I mean, if you think about it, marriage is the end of dating. Yeah, you could be dating for other reasons (fun, sex, emotional support...), but ultimately every relationship you have will end up becoming a learning lesson until you find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is the fuckin finish line.
Progression is important. If you don't see progression in a relationship (especially in the beginning) it's usually a clear sign that your "significant other" isn't really your "significant other". This is the time that you and your boyfriend should be getting to know each other. It should be exciting and new. You should be exploring each other. I know that it was exciting for me to get to know my Holly. We have been dating for two years, and I still find her to be the most challenging and fascinating person I have ever met. I love this about her.
Look, it seems like you're just wasting your time. You have definitely been patient enough. I would say that one year is plenty of time to determine whether or not a relationship is right or wrong for you. If you're interested in perusing this thing, I would suggest making an attempt to find the reasoning behind your relationship's lack of progression and trying to work through it. What do you think could be causing this problem? Is it you? Is it him?
Nov 7 2007, 06:14 PM
you havent said i love you yet? wow. my ex said he loved me like the week we went out and he was 18 and i was 16.
i wasn't very happy. oh and he ended up being nuts.
so kudos on not saying it though.
i've brought it up yet and he said he does like me a lot, but he isn't going to marry me"
that's pretty harsh..
Nov 7 2007, 06:19 PM
Wow. i've almost been in the same situation too..and i started to think if he doesn't want to marry me, why am i wasting my time with him?
Nov 7 2007, 06:21 PM
Did he mean he wasn't ever going to marry you, or he wasn't ever going to marry anyone.
Maybe he meant he won't marry you right now, but in the future. A year is a long time to waste with someone if you don't care about them.
Nov 7 2007, 09:38 PM
he's got some morals in him. it's a good thing that he's not saying it too soon into the relationship. the fact is that you're together for a year, and still stable means one thing, and marriage does roll around a guys head from time to time.
when the time comes, he will say it, and when he does thats when the real love starts happening.
it's hard to find those types of guys around now, so stick with him and don't give up hope
Nov 11 2007, 02:27 PM
theres really no askljdf of 'too long' its just realizing if the love is still there and if theres a meaning to stay together. if you two are happy make the best of it
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