so; this past summer i had a fling with a guy that lives only a block away from me. it was amazing & we got really close & i don't regret it at all & value him as a friend so much. so we're back in school now & we still talk & such, still close; but...
found out today that his friend is trying to hook him up with someone else. i feel super threatened. although we never went out i still feel as though if .. let's say if he was mormon, i should be considered his most favored wife. i am protective i guess & don't want any other chicks raining on my parade. i know that he is looking for a longer term relationship & we both know that i can't do that at this point in my life. but the thing is, i really love what we have. we really should be dating, but i just don't want the title since i don't want us to turn into a stereotypical same highschool boyfriend girlfriend situation. i am just really against that.
anyways, point being i've told him i could see us having an actual relationship in the near future, just not anytime too soon. but i don't know if he will wait since he probably thinks i am so flakey since i can't decide what i want i really don't want to lose him he means so much to me. he even has told me that the new girl is pretty decent competition. i think he told me this so that i'd step up my game a bit & be more possessive. i actually think that's what he wants, but he is also the type of guy that goes for something new a lot, pretty adventurous/risk taker. i am so confused. any advice would be nice. i know this is difficult to reply to, sorry, i just had to let it out hoping maybe some of you can relate

Well I know what you mean by the whole possessiveness I'm a lot like that but I'm kind of secretive about it. Honestly while I was reading your whole post the only thing I could really think of telling you is to just sit down and talk to him. If you guys are so close then you two should be able to talk about anything perhaps? Right? Just talk to him about how you feel and that you don't want some other girl to take him away from you and that even though you don't want to date now you really kind of hope that he would wait for you..

Although with this you do have to understand, you guys are young and a lot of life to live and I mean he may want to experience more dating around and stuff, I kind of agree with what you said though that it does sound like he wants you to step up your game maybe...and I mean if you think hes really worth it and you think hes right for you then I don't see why you shouldn't go for it? Don't care what others may think about your relationship and if they may see it as another high school relationship. Your relationship is what you make of it.

i'm confused as to why you are against the "stereotypical same high school boyfriend girlfriend situation". what's so bad about that?

you're being a bit selfish at this point if you're expecting him to wait until you're ready, especially if he wants to try something with this other girl that may even benefit him in the long run.

i could understand why you'd be afraid of starting a long term relationship, but that's what commitment is. it comes with the risk. is he worth it?

Tell him what you just told us. Im sure he will understand.

Ditto.

You're putting him in the middle. "I don't want to date you right now, but I don't like you dating other girls either."

So he doesn't know which way to go either. Either take a risk and date him, or let go of him.

You can't remain in this wishy-washy state of mind for forever. It'll eat away at you until you decide to do something one way or another.

She might have a good reason for not wanting to be with him right now. What's the reason ?

Cus if you reaallly like him and want to be with him, you can't expect him to wait around if he has another girl waiting on him. I dont see what's wrong with 'dating' him and being his girlfriend if you dont want him with other girls so much.