OK this has been driving me nuts for the last couple days and I wanted to know if you guys have any suggestions or advice on how to stop this. You see Im in an amazing relationship with a really great guy...hes never done anything to make me feel down about my self or make me doubt his commitment but no matter what i cant seem to shake this feeling of self doubt. Ive put myself into a place now that i dont see why he would want to be with me so he must be lieing and hiding something and its not fair to him or myself because now im sitting in a different city freaking out thinking that something must be going on in my home town because im not there and i know hes a better guy then that he would never do anything like that ever! its as if i believe because ive been hurt in the past that is destined to happen in this relationship and thats making it so that im pretty much sitting here and waiting untill it does happen so that i can just get it over with but yet when i sit back i can not see one reason that i can see it ending. the worst part is i know that im doing this and yet i dont know how to help and it affects him as well because if my mind goes into self doubt mode while im with him and i get all quite and upset then he starts feeling like shit to because he knows im upset. I know that my mind being in this state will just end up ruining my relationship so what do i do about it so that it doesnt? The last thing i want is to loose him.

Paragraphs make things much easier to read. I'll edit when I finish reading.

i know how u feel. i self doubt myself sometimes. well...u could try being happy around him. just enjoy being with him. and be talkative. that really helps. i'm sure u guys will come to and have a talk.

Ya thats one thing im trying to do...but how do i get this feeling that something has to go wrong out of my head which puts me into the untalkative mood??

Like its weird because hes never done anything to make me doubt him ever and hes the nicest guy ive ever dated so i dont know why i get these feeligs.

hmm a toughie...
first off, if he really is that great of a guy then you have nothing to worry about! he's with you and you alone, of course you're worth it!! he obviously sees something amazing in you which is why you're together! embrace the fact that you have him there by your side and you have someone who cares a lot about you.
what i would suggest is that you talk to him about this. he's prolly getting upset because you're not telling him what's up. tell him that it's nothing he's doing and say that you care about him so much and don't want to lose him. but you need to be honest with him. just explain your situation with him that you've been hurt in the past and that sometimes you just wait until something goes wrong. i don't think he needs to prove something to you, you need to prove that you're worth it to yourself!! maybe you need some time alone to gain some confidence. but i'm sure that your guy will be more than willing to help you with anything! just talk to him! he'll understand!

Ya thnx that one helped i just never really thought of it because i felt like if i talked to him about it then it would be putting stress on to his shoulders but on the same note if i dont talk to him then im scared that it will get to far in my mind and ill self destruct the relationship in self preservation.
so i geuss now that i think about it if hes at least filled in with whats going on in my mind it will be easier for him to understand when i get into one of my depressive moods and he'll be able to help me cheer up because those moods are bad for the fact that i start over analyzing everything which makes me into a worse mood.

by the way this whole blurb was me agreeing with you lol. and i know that i most likly went on and said stuff that i didnt really need to say but its my way of convincing myself lol.

^ i think it's funny the way you replied in that post, 'cause your self doubt definitely shows through, even just talking about agreeing with someone.

well, it's good that you agree with sweetest-emotion 'cause i think that's the best answer, too. communication is key, and maybe he could even help you to get rid of that self doubt.

however, this is a personal problem, and understand that no one can really help you but you. you gotta find some way to have more confidence in yourself. we are all afraid of our significant others hurting us, but we gotta believe that they won't.

Ya i geuss I know in my heart that he wont do anything but i also know that because it of my past its really hard to keep that thought in my head.

heres one reason that its easy for me to self doubt:
you see there was this girl that he dated for a year and a half so oviously shes a big part of his life and i would never try to take her away from him. and hes told me over and over that he cares more for me then he does her. But the thing is he also knows that she still likes him because shes told him over and over as well as tried to pursue him while he was dating me. and so now everytime that i hear about them hanging out or anything i become really shaky and almost weak but i dont know what to do about it because it wouldnt be fair at all for me to tell him to not hang out with her but i hate the feeling i get everytime that i hear about her. How do i get past this? should i go and talk to her? should i try my hardest to ignore it? what should i do??

like oviously if they were together for a year and a half there has to be something there!

I'm like that too. The best thing to do would be to talk to him about how you feel. You should try to be open and honest with your boyfriend if you really want to be with him. It sounds like you're pushing him away . Maybe he can comfort you, and make you believe in yourself like he does.

How about getting some self esteem?

No, I'm totally kidding. So you're feeling like you're the lucky one in the relationship to have the other. But the thing is your boyfriend might be feeling the same way too. Ever thought of that?

if there's an actual reason behind your insecurity, you should approuch him about it. he should know that him hanging out with her would leave you feeling a bit unsettled. of course, don't force him to choose between her and you, but just let him know it botehrs you a little. he should be able to make the right decision.

Not telling him how you feel burdens him a lot more.