http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Just on the first page, my favorite:

Teen girl: The Notebook was mad sad! I cried.
Teen boy: What is it about?
Teen girl: I forgot.

^ I loved that one! haha.

Ghetto clerk #1: Someone called before from New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: So?
Ghetto clerk #1: Well, I didn't know there was a New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: Yeah, there's Mexico and New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #1: Oh, I get it. So it's like Bronk and da Bronx?
Ghetto clerk #2: Not really.

I love that site. :]

Teen girl: The Notebook was mad sad! I cried.
Teen boy: What is it about?
Teen girl: I forgot.

Mother, scolding: And this is the same little boy who took out his penis in a nice restaurant.
Little boy: It was a wonderful restaurant!

Hahaha this site is amazing!
I love the tourist one you posted in the title!

Guy: For his 21st birthday I'm buying him a samurai sword. For his wedding I'm gonna buy him a giant samurai sword!

Eight-year-old son: Dad, I can't even tell the Ninja Turtles apart! They all look the same, they just have different bandages and stuff.
Dad: Well, do you know their names?
Son: Uhhh... There's the blue one... Armadillo?

Black woman #1: And then she was like, 'I don't like fried chicken!'
Black woman #2: How could you not like fried chicken?!
Black woman #1: I know! How could you not like fried chicken?!
Black woman #2: ... Well, was she white?

^ That's how a lot of the people at my school are. I bought a chicken plate, and was eating it. 'cause I wasnt able to leave for lunch, and there were a few people like "OMG, you have been here too long!", "You're definitely Sherrill's material now", and "YOU LIKE FRIED CHICKEN!?"
That was a fun day. haha

Bimbette: Like, the Eskimos get drunk and kill each other for fun.
Eskimo chick: Not my family. We garden.

Dude: I mean, you don't have to completely fall apart once your child dies.
Chick: Yeah, seriously.

Mom: Come on, sweetie, it's time to cross the street.
Little girl, dismayed: But I'm petting the kitty.
Mom: Honey, we need to go. Say bye-bye, now.
Little girl: Goddammit, mommy, I'm petting the kitty!

wow. hahaha

Young woman: I paid them a little bit. They paid for Mark to go to a 50 thousand dollar drug rehab and recovery program, so I think they'll be willing to loan us a thousand.
Man: Maybe, but he was taking it up the butt for crack. I think that's a whole different scenario.

Girl on cell: Mommy! My fake works! My fake ID!

Hahah, we have a group on facebook for that. Except, it's for my school.

Hipster to friend: Sometimes I feel like jumping into a bush, curling up into a ball, and punching everything.
Passerby: I dig that.
Bahaha.

Hobo: f**king shit, a-hole!
Lady passerby: Watch your mouth! I know you don't talk to your mama like that!
Entire crowded platform: Oooh!


Pwned.

This site makes my daayy like no tomorrow.

Homie #1: Drugs is huge, man, huge! If there wasn't no drugs, there'd be no police! No drugs, no lawyers! No drugs, no judges! Nobody would be in prison! All those guards, no jobs! The whole prison system would collapse! No drugs, nobody in the hospitals! Doctors out of work... Drugs is too big! We're a big part of the economy! Nobody is gonna touch drugs, man, so chill. We need drugs!
Homie #2: True dat.

I love that one!

This site is hilarious.

Toddler in stroller: Step one, cut a hole in the box... Step two, put your junk in the box! Step three, make her open the box!

--Dressing room, Bloomingdale's

Ahaah. Oh shitttt D:

Lady hobo: Man, you is the biggest crackhead I ever met.
Giant hobo, muttering incoherently: No, man, I ain't no crackhead. I ain't no crackhead.
Lady hobo: Nigga, you smoke drywall!

Atlanta, Georgia

...And this is why I love Atlanta.

Professor: If any of you are sad about Anna Nicole, see me after class. I'll give you a bitch slap.

--NYU

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, due to an earlier incident, all Sixth Avenue line trains are running over the Eighth Avenue line. Please be patient.

Confused tourist lady: What does that even mean? I don't understand.

Suit: It means that if you want to take any of the trains on the orange line you transfer at the next station like normal, but instead of going downstairs you just wait on that platform for the train you want.

Middle-aged woman across aisle: They're not orange line trains. It's the B, the D, the F and the V. Real New Yorkers don't call it the orange line.

Suit: Hey, lady, f**k you. There, is that New York enough for ya?





--E train approaching W 4th St

Male grad student #1: So, I got an email from my teacher today.
Male grad student #2: Oh, yeah?
Male grad student #1: Yeah... She thinks I'm a good teacher.
Male grad student #2: Oh... So nothing about...?
Male grad student #1: No, nothing about my gorgeous smile or sparkling personality.
Male grad student #2: Oh.
Male grad student #1: She totally wants me. I can tell.

--A train, between 42nd & 50th St

wtf BRAUNDIN are you in new york or something we have to chilllllll i can add you to my gueslist at aer .

Misguided dad: Honey, what's wrong?
Little girl frantically grabbing at crotch: I... I... I have a bubble and I'm trying to pop it -- right here!
Misguided dad, laughing hysterically: Sweetie, that's just a queef.

--14th & 6th

HAHAHAHA.

Weary black lady squinting at bag of meds: Could you read this to me?
Young white guy: It says, 'Add two drops to each eye twice a day.'
Weary black lady: Thanks. You married?
Young white guy: Uh, yeah.