More than just recently, I've begun to ask myself what girls really want. Especially at this age, I simply don't think most girls you'll find are mature enough to actually know what they want, and even if you asked them and they told you, chances are what they want is more or less the last thing they're looking for, not the first.
So I looked through a few myspace profiles to start, and I found something that goes like this:
"And then there's that one really special, incredibly amazing guy who appreciates me - who cares about me more than life, despite my weaknesses, and despite his - in return for all the love in my heart. The ONE who would NEVER hurt me...he's the one...
"A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate, the one you can tell your dreams to. He'll smile at you, but he'll never laugh at your heart. He'll brush the hair out of your eyes. He'll send you flowers when you least expect it. He'll stare at you during the movie, even though he just paid $8 to see it. He'll call to say goodnight or just because he is thinking of you. He'll look in your eyes and tell you, you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and for the first time in your life, you'll believe it.""
I think that might, more or less, describe what a lot of girls want. I don't even know the person from who's profile I took that, (and if she ever ends up reading this, I hope she realizes I'm not directing this toward her) but it pretty much summarizes what I've heard a hundred times over from too many other girls. Then again, I've got friends who would meet those "requirements" better than anyone else I know, yet they're single and not exactly by choice.
I look around, and I ask all you girls out there, what do you REALLY want? As far as I can tell, all those qualities you describe everywhere you get a chance to, are toward the bottom of the list, and at the way top is someone who looks hot, someone who is popular, someone who has "experience," someone who takes risks, someone who appears "adventurous", can express his sexuality openly, and of course, someone who can make you laugh. I don't know why, but I've gotten a very strong impression that what I just described is exactly what most (though not all) girls are looking for, and then you look around and wonder why our divorce statistics are what they are. With values like those, do you really wonder why marriages don't last?
Oh, and then of course, one day comes along a guy that isn't funny as hell, but he's got his inside sense of humor that the smarter people go "ah, I get it!" and wink instead of laughing out loud. He's got a sense of humor, can smile when the rains start pouring, and give a high five even if he's just lost a tennis game in the finals round. This guy would give his heart for you, and in return, all he wants is for you to love him forever. But yet, he's reserved enough to keep his sexuality to himself, knows life well enough to know which risks not to take, and above all, knows what matters most. This man will help you raise your kids in a way you'd be proud of them, with a heart of gold, and a spirit that will do anything for that family. This one man will drive 100 miles to pick you up when you're half drunk dancing with other guys, knowing full well he wouldn't like it. This one man will hold you close while it rains, give you his coat when the winds blow, open the car door for you, and will always be quicker than you in grabbing the check at the restaurant.
Yet...you really never would have known, if the first time you saw him, all you wanted was to be friends becuase he was too nice, too kind, and simply not the kind of guy you'd have fun dating.
You think I'm just looking in the mirror from my own life's experiences? You think I'm oblivious to what's really happening out there? You think I don't talk to people every day and see what really goes on? You think I haven't realized that at the age of 18 & 19 most girls still just want to have fun?
Mr. Right could walk right past you, ask you to dinner, and you'd never know it because he wasn't the hottest guy on the planet, didn't drive a sports car, or simply gave off the aire of one of those "good boys." Then again, since when did any girls go for the "good boys." All you ever hear of is a lot of girls talking about how all the good guys are gone.
When will some of you open your eyes and realize that what will make you happy for a year is not what will take to make you happy when you've worked a 40 hour week and Friday night, your baby wakes you up at 2 AM straight into his 6 months of existence. When the times get tough, he'll pull double time and get another job. When you're no longer the outer beauty you once were, you'll realize that his eyes were blind all along, and all he really saw you with was his heart.
What really matters most? In your mind you know what you want, but your heart won't let you have it, because you simply haven't realized what matters most. A few broken hearts later, you're 25 or 26 years old, and up to that point you were living proof that nice guys finish last.
Then there are those girls who weren't the hottest, most beautiful, most popular girls on campus. They didn't dress the way you did, and they didn't date the hottest guys. They realized what they were worth, and it actually meant something to them when a guy looked into their hearts to look for a beauty that might last forever.
I once kept a strong mentality that nice guys finish last, but then I realized...its not the nice guys that finish last, it's the girls that didn't give a shit about the nice guys that finish last.
Nice guys don't finish last. Nice guys are the last ones walking hand in hand with their wives when the autumn leaves of life begin to fall.