Hi,

I'm on my mid-forties, I had not been lucky when it comes to relationships, it's not that I’m some repressed middle-aged who’s never been on a relationship before, don't get me wrong. In fact, I have been on a couple of healthy relationships in the past, but for some reason they never worked out.
For quite a while, after breaking up with my former girl, I know it sounds corny, but I started to lose faith in love because I really thought she was the one. So, as a way of relaxing and having a good time, this friend of mine advised me to take one of these tours to Russia. You know, the ones that are popular these days, because he said I’d meet beautiful women. At first, I gotta say, I had my doubts, but after thinking it over, I made up my mind. Therefore, with nothing to lose (except for a couple of bucks), I went on the tour, and indeed I met this dead- gorgeous, smart and sincere gal, we just simply clicked after meeting each other, we had the best time together while I was in Russia, and ever since I came back to the states we kept in touch almost every day by phone, chat, and e-mails.

I am very serious with her. We’re on a one-year relationship now. I know it's hard to have long distance relationship, but she’s definitely worth it, plus over the past year I went back to visit her on three occasions.
We have talked about her moving to the states and she’s ok with it. Lately, I have started to think about popping the question once she moves in, of course she doesn’t know about it.

But here are my concerns:

Do you think I am rushing things? Or should I just go for it and propose?
I know it‘s hard to say, but do you think it will work? You know, my being American and her being Russian? Or is it that you think she will have a hard time adapting to America and she’ll just feel like going back to Russia because of homesickness and stuff.


Any piece of advice would be very appreciated.

Thanks

I think you guys are off to a great start, being in that big of a long distance relationship I really have to admit that I look up to you for that. Very sweet. Although when she moves to the states its going to be her first time living over here. Its going to be something completely new to her and you have to make her feel welcomed and comfortable, so she won't get homesick, etc. I don't suggest popping the question right when she gets over here. I think you should give it some time when she moves in. Get comfortable and get use to living with her to make sure shes the right one. Then you lose all your doubts and you can answer all your questions on your own, then I suggest popping the question

Good luck.

Oh it's definitely fine. You guys seem happy...

Haha, I'm going to post to this cause you're not a hormone raging teenager who thinks they are in love. *cough*Holly.

Well, first off all I have to say that it takes alot of guts trying to get advice from a bunch of kids. But seeing how my friends parents marriages and my mom's stays in tact, I have a pretty good idea of how things work. I don't know if you're religious or not, but it seems to me that marriages for the most part with some sense of a higher being to look up to makes relationships work out for the better. Hard work. Trust. Sacrifice. All make up love. I don't know what to say about proposing to her. I'm not there yet. Haha. Hopefully, but not yet. So, I'm not going to give you advice on that. If you have friends that are your age maybe you should ask them. But if she is still with you after a year, that in my book is a good sign. Haha. I haven't had a relationship that lasted over seven months. Then again, I'm 19, so, it doens't really matter much at this stage.

But I really do hope the best for you. I'm not going to say that she's not going to have doubts, but that's apart of relationships. I heard one of my school pastors say that sometimes he would wake up next to his wife and ask himself why he was lying there next to her and whether he loved her or not. But loves not entirely a feeling. It's work. Trust. Sacrifice. Long suffering. If you can endure with that, then you have a good shot. Power to you, man.




You're not always gonna be happy in a relationship. Don't mix that up for this kind of thing. Happiness does not equal relationship.

A relationship is a covenant. It's a contract none the less. Til death do you part. Not some fairy tale romance.

Sensing you are religious, I would pray about it. Ask “him to show you a sign, wither a visible sign, or an emotional feeling.
My step uncle met a girl 2 weeks before he had to move due to military. In Colorado it had not rained for about 6 weeks, and it was really hot. He really liked her. He asked Him to she him a sign and lord did. H in his prayer he was told, if it does not rain by the third day, she is not mint to be, if it does, she is the one. And, it rained. There were other signs to. My uncle wanted the girl to have aspects; the same exact car as his, He want her to learn a language but not just any langouge, it had to be a language of a place she desires to visit and for my uncle to know that language. She met these aspects of his dream partner. That’s 1 in a 100… so, as I pray for my situation, I pray for yours!

Well, that's a tricky thing to believe. I'm not the one who believes that God shows visible signs or stuff like that. I'm really not trying to be a buzz kill or anything, but that's how I see things. Yes, I believe God answers prayers. No doubt, and that would be cool if that was really out of prayer. My pastor when he was younger was living in an apartment with his wife and he was short on the rent. He needed 91 dollars to make the rent, and he got a letter from his friend with a check of 91 dollars in it. So, stuff like that does happen, but I'm always skeptical about it. I guess it's just because I'm testing and searching for things.

Yes it would be the first time she moves to the States that is why I'm so concerned about it cause I want her to feel as confortable as possible once she's here that way moving to the states will not be so hard for her and hopefully she will start thinking about the US as place to live permanently.
Thanks for you advice I'll take into account.

I found this report that it might be of your concern. It is an immigration report that shows that by marrying a foreign woman you have more than twice the chance of staying married than if you marry an American woman. Marrying an American woman you have a 250% greater chance of getting divorced.

To see report go to: http://www.loveme.com/information/immigration.htm#Report

Maybe she wants a guy with a citizenship!

I am a Russian woman. I have been married to an American for more than 8 years. Also I associate with a group of about 100 Russian women that have married American men. So far I have only known of three divorces out of almost 100 couples. That is a far cry from my husband’s friends who are almost all divorced from American women.

Not neccessarily "till death". And I didn't say that all a relationship takes is "happiness" either.

What are you talking about 'Not necessarily "Till death"'? That's what a marriage is. If you plan on getting married anytime soon, there will be a phrase that comes up that states 'Till death do you part.'

Why else get married if it's not for life? Oh, it's just something to do, lets not take it seriously cause 50 percent of American people don't. It's awful to think that marriage is not necessarily till death.

I would wait until she gets settled and then pop the question

I don't think the guy is coming back guys

Oops. Sorry I misunderstood >.<
I meant relationships in general...But of course marriage is till death. And geez, you didn't need to get all worked up about it o_o

Sorry, when there's something I believe, I can't just let it go with out giving it at least a little justice.

just make sure she doesn't marry you just for american citizenship.

yea, it's happened before to some people i know. nottt a pretty thing at all.

If I was going to get re-married and divorced at least this time I would prefer it to be with a hot Russian or Latin girl 20 years younger than me rather a fat old nagging American woman.
AKA my X-wife.