She sits arched, posed, silent;
her eyes aware of every little second and movement
Clenching her head in her hands -
She is not resting,
Her head held up by the rigidity of her spine.

Simply, but quietly
her last collapse, her eyes drop
Head falls into expectant hands






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This is a random poem I wrote a few weeks ago. Opinions?

Good :] Verry good :] great use of imagery

I like it.. except for I'm confused about her position. Initially, you say she's posed, then she's clenching her head in her hands.. which makes me imagine that she's leaning forward a bit, but then her head is held up by how rigid her spine is. Meh. Maybe I'm reading too into this or picking up different connotations. Eek.

It's actually just a girl sitting at her desk; she's very tense at first, so she's not really relaxing and letting her head rest. Then, she finally "collapses" and she sort of "falls" into the position she was already set up in. If that makes sense. lol

I really like your imagery! The subject is also very beautiful! It's too bad there isn't more structure (or maybe I'm not seeing it?)

Unfortunately, there is no structure, haha. :/

AHH I get it now.
Originally I was with Kathleen.
But I get it...I like the subject matter.