I wish I knew why I fell for her I wish my meeting were never to occur I wish…Oh how I wish I wish these feelings would vanish I wish I could get over this I wish it was not her that I miss
I could wish over and over… But wishes never come true
Jackaroe
Jan 25 2007, 05:11 PM
The persona's despair is extremely touching. I like your use of repetition and the rhyming scheme. The last line also, to me, acted like a sharp clincher. It was like BAM! "Wishes never come true." and it's like, "So stop wishing."
S0ul_Reaper
Jan 25 2007, 06:39 PM
the main thing I liked about it was the last part, the person above me however im quite the opposite. I feel as if it was al ittle plain I don't feel any actual emotion but if you probably would have sticked to
QUOTE
I could wish over and over… But wishes never come true
and revised/rewrote I think you can capture a true point here but none the less always good writing for you keep it up
Ekay
Jan 25 2007, 07:09 PM
hmmm definitely food for thought. thank you both :]
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