:I, the dick, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1) I do physical labour.
2) I work at great depths.
3) I plunge head first into everything I do
4) I dont get weekends & bank holidays off
5) I work in a damp environment
6) I work in dark places that have poor ventilation
7) I work in high temperatures
8) My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Yours sincerley, dick
Dear dick
After considering the arguemants you have raised the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1) You never work eight hours straight
2) You fall asleep after brief work
3) You do not always follow the orders of the management
3) You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
4) You do not take initiative
5) You need stimulation in order to start work
6) You leave the workplace messy at the end of your shift
7) You will retire well before you are 65
8) You are unable to work double shifts]You regulary leave your area of work before the task is complete and finally..
9) You are always seen entering and leaving work with 2 suspicious looking bags.
Yours sincerley
The management
.. 2 supspicious looking bags 
Thats....great. I wonder who thinks of these...some perverts that sit at home all day and think of these jokes? Lol naaw but it was funny. ^_^