I think this is worth thinking about...I'm actually writing my fall paper on the fact that even in the most feminist, pro-independent woman eras, women still seemed to need to end up married, either to fit in with society, or for stability.

There's still obviously a tremedous emphasis on romantic relationships. Teens are starting to date form a younger and younger age. I just think sometimes it's important at some point to examine why we feel compelled to find that perfect Mr or Mrs. Right

any thoughts?
I'm just presenting the question: NOT bashing relationships

Can you be single and perfectly happy in the long run?

I've never exactly been in a real relationship, but I always hear my friends say one of two things. Either being single is the best because you dont 'have to worry about attatchment, or being in a relationship is the best because you have someone to always be with. I'm pretty curious about which ones the better feeling, and I'm not really sure why people feel so compelled to be in a relationship. I guess its so that they can have something to fall back on. sort of like a comfort zone? but im not really an expert.

well i think that uh we could be single and happy. but not forever. =) we all need to be loved but then u might not always be happy when ur in a relationship cuz you're always worrying about the guy and it really hurts when u break up

Well I guess it different for everyone. But research does show that married men tend to live longer than men that aren't married. Perhaps this was because they were happier? It can work both ways actually, the relationship can lead to a wonderful or a heartbreaking ending.

I don't think that you have to be in a relationship to be happy...I think it's more of an added bonus...I, myself, didn't even start seriously dating til I was Junior in high school. HE was a great guy and we dated for 8 months then we just kind of decided mutually to end our relationship and be friends(which can really happen b/c we still talk to each other ALL the time) anyways then I played it by ear for like two years being completely happy with my singleness then I just got kind of bored with my swinging bachelorettedness....SO in the long run...I think that in being single a girl can find happiness but sometime down the road she is gonna get lonely and want that one person to be with and be comfortable with and settle down with....so inevitably most people come to the conclusion that being in a relationship is better b/c most poeple seem to settle down and well if the mass majority of people are doing it then it must be the thing to do..which makes it great...

I guess I'm kind of rambling but If you can pick out the good parts in there then I hope it has helped you...basicly being single is fun but most people get bored with it after a while and just want someone to rely on!

yeah sure why not.

Theres many ways out there and different people that have their own key to happiness. Some people look into being a relationship can be a key to happiness while others do not. I myself dont think having a gf is a key to happiness. It can be a great experience or it can be bad. Like the person above me said. Being single has it ways but it really depends on what kind of person you are. If you are in a relationship I see it as support from your bf/gf to help find your key to happiness. You can even share the same happiness . for the Long Run, you can be happy. You also may want to share that happiness with someone later on with your life. But overall It all depends on how the person thinks and feels.

so nice to see intelligent responses

I guess I should add that I've never been in an official relationship. tho I've dated casually under the "just friends" label and I have really close guy friends. I'm a huge romantic but at the same time i'm pretty blessed and thankful for the people I have in my life. Intellectually I guess i feel like I should be fine with what I've got. I'm just wondering what a real relationship is like I guess...

Buuut, this issue is so different for everyone...
keep responding please.

Anyone want to really defend one side or another and/or be a devils advocate?

..HUH lol

but yeah being in real relationship can be really extravegant. where love, desire and commitment plays a role. you get more responsibilities. and develop new feelings. Usually real relationships can lead to a hard downfall. where pain can be felt like nothin before. Its good to feel that your happy with what you've got. But life is full of surprises and things you should try trying.rather than living in a simplistic life where everything is oridinary everyday. =] take chances.

I agree with what Jane said. I'd say if you're independant, you'd probably be happy single. If you're constantly needing somebody to be there for you, I'm guessing you'd be happier with someone.

Personally, I'm not really independant and need to rely on other people. But, I haven't been in a relationship, (I guess I'm afraid of getting hurt or something. ) so I wouldn't really know.

I've been on both ends of the spectrum, and I think that it's different kinds of happiness that one experiences when being single and when in a relationship. To me, you really can't compare the two happiness...as they're different.

Being single gave me freedom. It gave me the freedom to do just about anything I want, in anyway I want, when I want. I didn't have to please anybody but me. I was free to discover who I was and what I really wanted in life. It was essentially the freedom to be ME. The world was centered around ME and only me. It was a carefree type of happiness...the kind that young kids are so famous for.

Being in a relationship, however, limited the degree of freedom. But with it also added another kind of happiness. It's rather fulfilling to love someone and be loved by that someone in return. It's a nice fuzzy feeling to have someone to be there for you, to support you, to love you, to accept you for who you are. It's filling to develope a connection with another human being...and by connection I mean a deep connection. I guess it's a more mature type of happiness?

I think that yes, you can stay single and be perfectly happy your whole life, but you wont' experience the type of happiness that relationship offers.

I think its different for everyone, people have different views and opinions on life so in the long run I think anyone could be perfectly happy living a single life, although I think they would still get in relationships throughout the long run though, and even if they don't I think they could be happy.

On the other hand people do try and search for happiness by getting in relationships which isn't always the right thing at times to do.

we were made to want and be loved, if you think about it.
so I understand why everyone wants to get married.
plus, it is wired in us when we are younger that we have to
to be happy.

I'd have to say you can be happy either way.
if you were meant to be single your whole life,
then you will be very unhappy should you get married.

personally, I really want to get married.
I like being in relationships, even though I'm single now
and prolly will be for quite a while :/

sometimes you will say you will swear off men.
cuz sometimes, they suck big time at relationships.
but then again, you may find your true love in the first person you date :)
you never know ;)

Well, i have never been in a real relationship. so i wouldn't REALLY know, but i do think being in one will make me tons happier than i already am. but it also depends on the persons relationship with their family. for example; if they're not very close to their family, of course having a bf/gf will make them much happier. i guess it just depends on who you are, and answers can vary for everybody.

both of them can actually be the "key to happiness." =P

like someone said, bf/gf is just a added bonus. you dont ALWAYS need a person to make you happy (unless you're not independent) but i'd rather be single =). either one could work for me though..

Not always!

Plenty of people are perfectly happy and content with being old and single. Heh, I guess it's nice to know you have an other half to rely in when times get rough, but independence is nice as well. I can't really say which is "the key to happiness," but I've been happy being on both sides. :) If you're the clingy, hopeless type, you probably like to be in a relationship. If you're the independent, paranoid type, single life is the life for you. I guess I'm going nowhere with this response. A boyfriend/girlfriend isn't always the key to happiness. I guess that's all I have to say. Haha, sorry for rambling on.

I think it all depends on what kind of person you are, but generally one would probably be happier in a relationship. But a boyfriend or girlfriend definitely isn't the only key to happiness.

i find that my boyfriend is one of the things that brings me happyness.
but if your happy to be single hey then thats you.

i think people have different needs at different times. plus people are different. i know some people who can't go for 5 seconds or go anywhere unless they have a date/bf so who knows what they are about. i know i like to be with someone i like not just anybody so i think that a balance is needed. if you can't enjoy being alone sometimes then you're not really being real with others either.

me and my bf talked about this, and his theory is that being single you can be happy or sad, but if you're emotionally invested in a relationship, it's like being further out on a see saw, and you will be much happier, and much sadder at times.

In the end, I think that the 'need' for a bf/gf is just from society, because if you don't have one, everyone assumes you can't 'get' one

i guess it also depends on your beliefs too ....if you have some sort of spiritual awarenesss in which you feel like your counterpart might disturb you ...and you know by having this sort of spiritual enlightenment in which you believe in ...for example if your Christian and you have God in your life ....your gf can butt you in , things like that ....till this day im sort of facing that , i kind off blew off my first relationship ...because i thought i was ignorant . .....but thats life ....live and learn .

That's a hard question to ask, really.

I mean, in the end, you'll eventually find that sense of loneliness when everyone around you is getting married and starting their own family. They don't exactly have time to be around you and just give you that comfort you had in highschool and college. They have more important things to juggle.

In the long run, being single is something that isn't depressive. I've only had one boyfriend and that was three years ago. I've been perfectly happy and I can't say that I haven't thought of having a boyfriend. I like to be cuddled, but that isn't something you can only get from a lover. There's that good guy friend who you can just go see and talk to and hug. Plus, if you spend your time dwelling over the fact that you're single, then it'll bother you. There are so many other things in life that you should concentrate on, boyfriends should be the last on your mind. I know it is on mines and I'm happy enough.

I know I had more to say, but I lost my trail of though.

I don't think you need the relationship aspect to be happy, necessarily, when you have friends to talk to and rely on and whatnot. However, I do think the physical aspect is, to some extent. Not just sex, just affection I suppose. Thus I'm going to say that for some people it is necessary, since it'd be awkward to have sheerly the physical without the emotional. For others, that's really not terribly important. In general terms, I'd say it isn't necessary because people's personal feelings on the matter vary so widely.

this topic made me think alot ... i guess because of whats going on right now . THE BUTTERFLY AFFECT .

I guess you can be single and happy.

But I know for me, I'm 15 times more miserable when I am single. 3 years, you'd think I'd get over it. Nope. I'm not getting any younger, people around me are engaged or married, and I can't even get a date. But alas, that's probably because I'm fat with bad skin. Psh. Anyway. Chyeah.

You don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. You can be in a relationship and be unhappy, mind you.

But sometimes you are happier when you've found somebody you really connect with.

For me I'm 10 times happier when I'm in a relationship.
Just being single makes me really upset.
Seeing everyone happy with their significant other and me off here with no one.
I guess I need the feeling of being loved?

I used to always think that boyfriends and relationships should never be a number priority. I was pretty much single all throughout highschool and was fine with it as friends around seemed to always be on these emotional rollercoasters. I enjoyed being single and pretty much planned my life without having a significant other.

But now I'm in this amazing relationship and I've never been happier. So now I'm confused. I love being loved and connecting with someone.

So I guess they defiantly bring happiness but you can't rely on having one to be happy.

i think you can be single and happy but being in a relationship is just an added bonus if you find the right person to connect with. i used to think that a relationship was the key to happiness until i realized i was with that person just to be with someone. now i've found someone that i really am truly happy with and plan on spending the rest of my life with this person. therefore the only time a relationship is the key to happiness is when it's truly right.