We were talking about this at lunch, and I thought it was so true.


So many people say that looks don't matter and they base their relationships on personality. To an extent, it's semi-true. True, whoever you date doesn't have to be beautiful, but you have to be attracted to them! Right? I mean, personality's great, don't get me wrong. But you can't have a relationship where you're not attracted to the person physically at all. You can be great friends with someone's personality, but you can't date their personality! You can't have sex with their personality!

Personally, although this might be completely shallow of me, I really think that attraction is key in a relationship.



What brought this on... I have a guy friend who was really upset because his girlfriend texted him saying that she wasn't really "attracted" to him anymore, even though she really likes his personality and stuff. Basically, what she wanted was to keep on dating, but she wanted him to stop kissing her or hugging her, etc.

How can you have a relationship like that? So he was pissed off and they ended up breaking up. Fun.

I think looks and personality are both important.
I could just go for anyone who's decent looking (doesn't have to be the hottest or most beautiful) with a great personality.

Maybe I am just a bit shallow that looks do matter to me, but to a certain extent.

Yeah, I agree. I DO have some kind of standard for how the person looks. Most of us probably do. And of course, personality matters too. Even more than looks, at least for me.

i think personality and looks are BOTH important.
maybe it's just me. but the person i like i don't find cute one bit.
it's just the little things that he does that makes me like him, it's so cute.

Well...my bf isn't exactly what you'd call extremely attractive. But he's not ugly...just decent looking. Normal looking...nothing stands out.

Looks...do play a part in a relationship. But it isn't everything. Looks attract you yes, but personality is what makes you STAY.

True.

I'm shallow just like everyone else. But in my opinion, "anothers trash in someone esle's treasure" maybe this 'person' could be ugly to you, but that same person could be the most beautiful thing in the world to another person.

yeah... i agree with simplicitygirl.

if someone looked hideous, there'd probably be less of a chance for me to want to get to know them (initially). it sounds shallow but yeah....

I agree, I mean, it may be really shallow of me but I don't want to go out with someone who can't take care of himself, no offense.

Call me odd, but I don't get attracted to someone based on their looks. It's something about their personality which makes me interested.

For instance, there was this guy I met a while ago, and when I used to pass him at the conservatory, I didn't think anything of him. But later when we started talking and I found out what kind of guy he was, I was instantly attracted to him.

Looks don't always play a part.

The guy i currently like isnt..well he isnt that attractive.
Yet i like him.
Why?
We have a connection. When you get to know people who seem to connect to you in a way you really like you will slowly forget about there looks and focus on there personality.

I know people whoo've like well in my opinion the most hidious of men but it was cause of there personality. To bad our world was so shallow. My friends were worried about getting made fun of.

same here! lmfao.

yeah i agree looks does count to a certain extent, i started liking my bf not cause of his looks, but when i got to know him more i started to really like his personality.

You really made sense there.

my boyfriend is what is defined is a average looking.
i date no higher in looks beacuse i dont like the pretty boy look and most pretty boys are not trustworthy.
but i have high expectations with personality
so ether way.
looks are ok
but personality is a must

A part of me likes to believe that we are attracted to people because of their personalities. But I know that's not true. I simply can't contradict billions of years of evolution and science.

Our basic human nature is to look for physically attractive mates, so that our children will be attractive to other people when they grow older. What is physically attractive? For women...big eyes, full lips, the perfect hip to waist ratio...that all points to sexual health and fertility. And our human nature is to be as fit as possible, to mate with those as fit as possible - those most able to survive and reproduce (hence, looking for those that look the most fertile).

I simply can't contradict all of that; I believe there is nothing stronger than basic human instinct.

Of course, if the guy's kind, funny, and throws together a great meal, that's not bad. Of course that's not bad. But you're more likely to go for the hot ones.

Looks make up only 5% of someone's attractiveness in my case. Like, I would go up to someone who's pretty good looking, and talk to them. If they open their mouth and I hear bull, I will go bye-bye. No matter how attractive they may be.

Looks don't really matter to me, I go for the personality. Sure, some people are attractive to me but it's not a big deal.

For instance I met my bf online through my friend who knew him. We've talked a lot online & I completely fell for him. We just met in person for the first time yesterday & he wasn't exactly 'attractive' at first. But I knew him & it didn't matter. Actually, when I like someone, they start to seem attractive to me even if no one else thinks so at all.

As much as anyone would try to argue, everyone focuses on physical appearance at some point, and to some degree. Yes, personality should come first and it should be the only thing taken into consideration, but it's not. It never is. No one wants to be seen walking around holding hands and locked up with someone who looks like present-day Michael Jackson or that Mimi lady from the Drew Carey show.

"You can't have sex with their personality!"

Looks of course count for some portion, but it shouldn't be the largest reason for liking the person. But i mean, if you're dating someone, you don't want to be repulsed by them or anything... to be blunt.

I don`t think that a relationship without kissing and hugging is a full on relationship. That`s kind of awkward. It is shallow to see that looks matter, but they do. To me atleast

Yes!! I completely agree... and I love how you stated that.