Can anyone please tell me how in the world to make a website layout? I have no idea! I don't know how to code it, make it, or ANYTHING! =/ Can anyone lend a helping hand here? Please?!

There are no tutorials on how to just make a layout. A layout should be your ideas. First worry about making it. Then people can teach you how to code it after its made. My suggestion get a program, photoshop, psp , or gimp. Then take your time and learn different things. Like blending, colorizing, simple effects, etc. Then create one of those into a layout.

But if you REALLY REALLY need to be told :
http://pootato.org/photoshop/making_a_layout/

Its for photoshop. After you get your layout, we can tell you what methods you should use to make one. Because you kind of need to see it first.

Well, first of all, you need to have a layout you want to code. Do you have any image editing programs like Photoshop?

Then, you code it. Search on here for website tutorials.

Here's a div tutorial:

http://www.createblog.com/tutorials/download.php?id=171