Everytime that surge of infatuation hits me, I lock that desire of wanting to make infatuation into real love inside myself where no one can see it. It is bittersweet, though, because all this raw emotion of desire builds up into something that grows more intense each day. Understanding that the desire to love is the most powerful, to have that build inside a locked up soul trains a lover to love a love with all the might true love has. It's the wait that kills. The wait to be recovered. Sometime you are found, but never unlocked. You'd feel that you will be freed of the wait, but then, once your hope runs high, and the anticipation of being unlocked excites your desire to release all your devotion to loving, you get dropped back in the hole that person raised you from. You're buried and you wait once again to be found and unlocked.

This is bittersweet. The desire to love needs satisfying.



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this connects to all those guys that made me think that i was in love. but actually it pretains to one dude imparticular who mad me experience one of the craziest and most intense infatuations i've ever had. really changed my views on love.