From Medical News Today:

I can believe that. I know so many women who have reported being raped by their own boyfriends. Its really sad because now they don't really wanna tell anyone and its a huge mental burden just being around the person who you thought would care deeply for you.

Yeah, isn't physical and sexual abuse more common amongst coming from husbands, boyfriends, and other males that the woman already knows, rather than actual random strangers?

Yup, thats what the stats say.

So true. I can see it all around me...

true....so true. i think about 5 girl i know have been raped in the past 2 years...from unwanted sex with there boyfriends...3 are locked up...and the other two our out on bail....the world is messed up..

Yeahhh..uh..Duh. Some guys can be very convincing, what with all the lies they tell these girls. Quite sad.

Jinkies.

It's not that I don't have sympathy for those who fall for and succumb to that type of pressure. It's just not something I can relate to. I don't know... I've never had a difficult time saying "no" - even at the risk of being alienated.

*sighs*

I so don't miss the teenage years though. I really don't.

WOO Just my kind of topic.



People can get over the whole rape thing, a lot of people out there no someone out there has it a lot worse and learn to move on with their life and not live with the mental/ emotional problems.




yea its been proven that people get raped or sexual abused more by people they actually know then completely strangers. I've said that somewhere else I believe.




the world isn't messed up, Just some people are. People read up on these things I mean if you search on the internet you can find stuff where it tells you exactly how to rape someone. People can go to school to be a criminal psychologist and completely know how to rape someone and emotionally lead them on the whole way and get away with it. Its how people learn things and how people take life. You can't say the world is messed up because then your saying everything and everyone is messed up.

*hugs and kisses*

she's right.

many people are messed up, becuase they are all looking out for themselves.... become as selfless as you possibly can. It takes practice, but its totally worth it. :D

Give to Receive... *husg and kisses*

Telling someone that others have it worse doesn't really help people get over the trauma of rape—or any traumatic situation, for that matter. Things that are personal are naturally harder to get over, even if someone else is worse off.

People can still get over them, everything takes time. And if you think of things in different perspectives it helps. But if someone sits there and holds it against the world because they got sexually abused/raped. They need to move on. Not everyone is the same and such and it does take different things like going to a shrink and such. But its better then crying to the world about it.

I'm with you to an extent, Holly.

I can tell you from first-hand experience that some things, particularly when dealing sexual violence can't just be *overcome*.

If anything, I don't think that people (women specifically) cry *enough* about it. It's really scary, knowing that there are so many acts of sexual violence that *aren't* reported either out of fear, or out of not wanting people to hear them, well, bitch about things.

There also people out there that get told if they ever want to live again or if they want to be raped again then not to tell a soul. And people live with that guilt. All they can do is move on and forget it. Its not like you can clear it from your memory completely but you leave it to the back of your mind to a extent that it doesn't bring you down everyday.

Theres so many stories about people being raped that you can't explain every emotion or story as a example for people to understand. People learn how to move on though. Its all you can do in the end. Its better then living everyday depressed about it.

I never said people should stay depressed about it and "blame it on the world"; rather, I said that people need help and support to get over it, and it's not supportive to merely tell them, "Well, others have had worse happen, so you should just deal." People need to feel free to seek support for rape—and any traumatic experience.

In fact, Zatanna pretty much just echoed exactly what I said.

And i'm saying that all don't need that.
Which i said above it differes from person to person
Atleast i think i did. I don't know i'm to lazy to scroll up and look.

They don't need help and support to get over things like rape?

some don't
Some just live with it.

So, just to be clear, you're saying that in traumatic events, there are two ways to deal with it:

1. Deal with it on your own and get over it yourself (without any help and support from friends, family, or professionals);
2. Don't get over it at all.

I hate how some people don't ever think more into things

1. Deal with it on your own. No help from others, people are very independent sometimes and don't want others sympathy over things and don't want others in their business about it all, asking questions about it and such.

2. Go get help, talk to as many people as possible go to psychologist and talk to them their always going to be there, they won't exactly be the top on the list of the caring matter but there always there to listen. Of course its their job to listen to your problems. and talk to you about them.


I never said for someone to never get over it.

You do know that's pretty much what I just said; the fact that you were arguing so adamantly is why I asked for clarification a number of times.

which explains so much of why i don't deal with this tyoe of subject with some people.


type*

What exactly is that supposed to mean?

what it says.

See, no offense, but this is part of the problem: You post something that's unclear. A person aks for clarification. You give another vague answer. Then a person has to make an assumption about what you meant. And then you bite his head off because he made the wrong assumption.

I don't mean to be pissy, but on the Internet, one doesn't have the benefit of vocal tone or body language, so it helps to be clear; and if someone asks for clarification, they might not be trying to be an a-hole—they might honestly not be clear about your statement, and wants to be sure of what you meant.

well by most of the things ive read of yours. It means exactly what it says. And I think in the other posts they were explained enough. I'm not going to argue with you.

You act as though I'm some kind of ass who's out to get people. Just because I post my thoughts and opinions, doesn't mean I have anything personal against people with whom I disagree (or who disagree with me).

at both of you.

You guys are so saying the same thing (well, sort of at least).

And once again I marvel at the inability to have context when cooresponding via the internet.

^ gee thanks

I think that's true. There's been a lot of peer pressure at my school lately. I heard some guy in my grade got a 6th grader pregnant.

I'm with Michael on this one. I got a little pissed reading This Confession's posts.

I agree^

A lot of people never fully get over it. A girl at my dance studio was raped, and even though she has been in treatment for years, she still freaks out small dark places. She won't even let her boyfriend kiss her. It really does screw you up for life, even if you move on there is always that thing in the back of your mind. This Confession, I think you need to have a little more sensitivity to this. It's not just about saying to to sex or losing your virginity. It deals with losing your sense of self and safety.

^ i thinks she's trying to say Girls have a hard time getting over the feeling of violation and sense of security......
----------------------------------------------
on another note....sorry for generalizing...what i said... your right.... not everyone does it but you'd be suprised by how many do...

I'd like to think those guys are just acting out because they were violated as children or

something of that sort but it's probably not the case in most of those relationships. What the

hell triggers anyone to violate their spouse/mate/girlfriend like that.


Those assholes need to go get their man power elsewhere

This is completely true. When I was a child, I had some encounters with sexual molestation (I won't go into detail...) and I still have trouble in intimate settings. Like, I can "do stuff" to a guy, but when anyone tries to do anything sexual to me, I get really, really uncomfortable.

All these people that are saying people shouldn't whine so much, and that victims should get over it and hold nothing against the world- all I have to say is, no, no, no.
Obviously you are some of the lucky ones who have never experienced psychological challenges. I have been living with a mood disorder for as long as I can remember, that has been diagnosed only for 5 years. It's not that easy just to deal with these things.
Even a completely healthy, strong person can have psychological backlash from a traumatic event.
Have you ever been raped?
Have you ever dealt with real depression?
Probably not. It's not so easy for everyone. Like you said- other people have it a lot worse. Some people have worse consequences, with the strength of heart to deal with it. And others have a decent life, and difficulties inside themselves.

And EACH is EQUALLY hard.

Being the victim of a rape isn't something you just "get over"- not for everyone, that is. If people don't listen to their cries for help, things will only get worse.

^Have you ever been raped?

I mean you said you have a mood disorder, but you never said you have been sexually abused or raped.


I'm not telling them to go lock them selves in a closet and stay away from the world they have to get over it their own way.



why exactly?





I never said people get fully over it, you always have it with you but you don't go around everyday thinking about it. That just makes it worse. And then you'll get extrememly paranoid. Not a good thing.

You can't NOT think about it, kind of, you know? And you can't help NOT get paranoid. It's kind of what the whole experience brings you.

Taylor``

^for some.

Like I listed before, people are different. People get over things in different ways then others. No one is exactly the same. I mean you can have the people that have been attention seekers and need attention when something bad happens and need all the support they possibly need to build up their self-confidence.
And then you have others that stay to themselves. And get over it all on their own. No matter how hard the truama.

Have you ever had a scarring sexual experience?

Taylor``

what do you think?

Hmm. I read it. And -

I think you're lying.

Taylor``

and why do you think that?

why do you keep quoting me
why won't you just make your post shorter and just put a arrow up
and say what you want.

Because you don't seem to really know what it's like.

Taylor``

well do you know what its like?

If you don't then you have no right to tell me anything about not knowing what its life.

That's too personal. I don't have to answer that. And you didn't have to answer mine :)

Taylor``

which is exactly why i erased it.

and if your not going to answer the question
then don't ask the question at all.

Good :)

And just because I ask it, doesn't mean I have to answer it. You don't have to answer it, you know.

Taylor``

I believe this. I kno I have been in this situation kind of recently with my boyfriend. I know how to say no though .