I mentioned this in a previous topic but I'll say it again. I went out with this boy for over 3 months and he was my first boyfriend. He was my first everything, first kiss, first 'I love you'.. etc. He broke up with me a little while ago because, he said, he didn't feel like enough of a boy around me: like he couldn't be silly or gross. He made me promise that we could still be good friends and I said okay, thinking that that was better than nothing. When we were going out I never told him how much I actually liked him because I didn't want to scare him off. I loved his voice and the way he smelled even though it was just boy-scent. I loved his little sister and how he made me walk on his right side, the farthest away from the street. I just can't seem to get over him. This is mostly because he still calls me all the time and teases me relentlessly in english class and in the halls. On thursday I walked with him to his little sister's school and he didn't touch me at all, which is significant because he touches everyone without thinking so I know it was a concious effort. He makes all these jokes about our relationship but always apologizes for teasing me and then tells me I'm beautiful. I told him I needed to tell him something on friday but then chickened out in the end. I was going to tell him that I loved him still but I wasn't going to for much longer and that if he cared about me at all still then he would just tell me and take me out of this emotional purgatory. It made him absolutely CRAZY that I wouldn't tell him what I wanted to tell him earlier. Seriously, he called like 5 times and I didn't answer. I just couldn't. He asked me to tell him at least what it was about, so I did. I said that it was about me and him. After that I wouldn't say anymore, except for that the reason I wouldn't tell him was because I wouldn't like myself if I did, because it would prove that I couldn't control my emotions anymore. He asked if I was controlling them or suppressing them and I said I didn't know.


what the hell is he doing? what the hell am I doing? I don't know what to do, seriously. Summer is almost here and I'm leaving for Kawai and then Europe soon, maybe I'll forget about him? I don't really want to though, because I feel like he might still like me..

the only thing I know for sure about myself is that I have a lot of love and a big capacity to be loved in return.


helphelphelphelphelphelp

make so that he CAN seem like a boy while he's with you. That's really all I can say.

AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL!

well it seems like.. he's still interested in you and that maybe he kind of has an idea about what you were gonna tell him.. and called you 252980 times because he wanted you to say it. but if he think he cant act.. boyish or 'himself' around you i guess its just safe not to say anything if you dont want your heartbroken. but i kind of think you should tell him and see if he changed his mind or whatever !

Since your leaving for the summer. Talk to him and maybe make a deal or something. Like this is just what I think.
But talk to him. Tell him that you still like him and stuff and if he still likes you and your leaving for the summer make a promise that if you both still have feelings for each other when you come back from the summer thing then you two should have something. And that it may be meant to be for the time being. Just a thought though. Just to let you know love isn't a patch of flowers thats going to save you from cars coming off the road.

tell him how you feel... its as simple as that, i don't think you will get a clear understanding of love until you live and learn... you may very well love him, but love is no picnic.. although, it is amazing

This kind of happened to me. There was a guy I liked, and he used to like me, and one day he wanted to tell me something. But then he decided not to and I tried to get the secret out of him, because I was still hanging onto hope. Then, he still refused to tell me and so then one day I told him that I still liked him. But then he told me he didn't like me back.

I seriously thought that he liked me since he acted like it so much, and I cried for like the next week. But somehow my being sad made him realize that he liked me back, and about two weeks later, he caught up with me and told me he liked me.

So right now we've been together for a long time and we love each other, even though we had a history kind of like yours.

I would tell him if I were you.
Good luck.

You're 15 - don't sweat it. There will be many more guys to come. It's not unusual to feel like this after the breakup with your first boyfriend. So don't worry.

Taylor``

He sounds like he really cares for you because evan though you guyz broke up..its cool that he still talks to you because most guys don't do that...But make a move before you go away..like tell him you still care have feelings for him and who knows he might ask you back out!!

Okay, so I've told him.

It felt really good to tell him.

Nothing was decided though, I just put it out there on the table for the world to see. I was hoping he'd either say 'really? let's try again' or 'I'm sorry, I'd still rather be friends'. Instead, we just talked about it and how I felt. He wasn't mean or spiteful. I know that he takes a long time to decide things and to think them over too. He pursued me at school, like he made a big effort and went out of his way to talk to me a few times throughout the day when I was pretending not to hear him calling my name through my headphones. He wanted to hold my hand too, but that isn't saying much because, like I said, he touches everyone. I am back exactly where I started from. However, now I feel as if I've done everything I can and that I took a risk and was brave. I think that when I'm much older I'll look him up, to see if we have anything. I think that he likes me, he's just lazy.

Is there anything else I can do?

nope, just wait.. you told him how you feel, the rest is up to him ;0

^^ Yeah I agree.You did your part already let him do his.

Now why did you pretend to not hear him through your headphones? =P

Anyway, just give him time, or do what Holly said about the ... still caring for him when you get back thing. That's all I can say. There would of been more, but you updated about telling him, haha...

Because he scares me. Because he can control the way I feel, if I want him to or not. Because he hurt me. That's why I pretended not to hear him.

Also I was attempting to play hard to get.