I am way too shy to even talk to my own family and way too cautious to make friends. I thought of changing my personality into becoming more of an outgoing person, but everyone else says that is changing who i am. well no one wants to be the shy one in the corner with no friends to talk to 24/7, and quite frankly it makes my life boring.

How do I overcome shyness to become more of a "friendly" person?

it sounds lik your in highschool, and your board becuase you see all these things happenning around you that you aren't participating in becuase you feel that your too quiet and no-one is inviting you to participate in them. highschool is no cake walk, people will make fun of the things you say, things you do, and the reasons you say/do them. It's easy to be shy, but the best way to get over being shy is to be yourself.

here:
-don't worry about who you make friends with... highschool may have a social class system, but don't just try and be friends with kids who are popular just so you can rise to the top and participate in alll the "fun" things that they do. Be friends with everyone.

-Find people who are intrested in the same things as you.

-Sit at different lunch tables. Get to know people, and don't give up. Kids are assholes they will make fun of you, but if there is an empty seat take it. If kids are being dick heads move, and find another new table.

-If you have close friends... don't ditch them for anything! stay friends with your roots, and let them know what you're doing so they don't feel like your ditching them.

-BE YOURSELF! if your quiet all the time, and you don't know what to say... shutup! don't just jump into a group of people and start blabbing away... let them talk to you, and only say what you feel you chould say. Eventullay you will feel confortable around them, and will be able to freely talk to them about things. Don't try and make things up to be cool...

-Don't get dissapointed in yourself, and/or angery at other people... No-one is the same, and many people will just be assholes to you. It's not because your you. It's becuase they are assholes

ah-ha someone like me!

Be who you are. Who you want to be, what ever. The only way to overcome it is to look at it and set like a goal. I never really cared about being shy. Its only in real life. And of course i don't have the most friends. But once people know me they love me.



follow that.
Don't look stupid. hah I use to be bothered by people doing that. Just because they always seemed to interupt me when i was talking.

When I feel shy..I always think about when people try to speak up for other people and then it makes me more confident to talk to people.You can always be yourself you know.

i was like that too a few years back. how old are you? it could just be a phase.

well, i'm 15 and i am just finishing up in 9th grade.

the thing is, i just moved here [to Alaska] from Georgia a few months ago, and I was just too shy to ever talk to anyone. i am mad that i made such a stupid mistake.

and what if i just don't like me? is there anything i can do to make me like me?

what made you hate yourself in the first place?

i don't know. i just don't like what i look like or how i talk. i am not confident enough.

well gain some confidence
I hate my legs. But i don't hate myself for it. I get over it. Just look at the good and don't worry about the bad. Approach new people get to know them and let them get to know you if they stab you in the back later Then ignore them. And move on. Don't be worried about it.

swallow your nervousness and laugh....smile a whole lot more, and try not to look lost/evil in the hallways. no dirty looks (even the unintentional ones) just talk to people in your class too. join a club...

not everybody is a back stabber. but should you find one, just move on. it hurts but after a while you tend to pick up on the certain personalities to keep away from. specially the ones that cry every day just because they had to walk to school....

I know too many people like this. & I have to admit that sometimes I'm shy as well, I don't like starting conversations or anything like that.. but I have random spurrs of confidence.

If you happen to overhear kids talking about something that interests too as well, jump in, what's it gonna hurt?

Try to find kids that will accept who you are, or who seem to at least. I have so many differences with my friends, but we still all get along.

I think the biggest problem with shyness is fear. Fear that someone will make fun of you, or not like you, not accept you. It all lies in the insecurities. I say you find yourself first, find the good qualities in you that you should learn to love.

hmm to overcome shyness, you should introduce yourself to people, try making conversation with them because if you don't do that, how would people know how you're truely like?..i am really shy too, but once i start talking to people i get more and more outgoing. to make people like you, you have to be careful of what you say and just be yourself!

i used to be really shy when i was younger. it seems the only reason why i was shy was because i thought too much of what people thought of me. you need to get rid of that, and just be yourself. it people don't like you, then so be it. at least you like yourself, right?

read my signature :)

I agree. I used to be shy also, and totally ahte myself..but it was because I cared too much of what people thought of me. All you really need to learn is to get over that and be yourself. It's hard, i know....but once you do that, you're home free. It took me a while, but I turned out ok, and I have some great friends!

Julia

It's a good thing to want to improve oneself, but don't completely change your personality - you may lose sight of who you really are. Anyway, I could relate to you on this topic; I am a very shy and passive person as well. As for trying to start talking to others, look for nice people who seem to usually be by themselves. It may turn out that they would like to make a friend, too. Also, joining a club at school is usually a great way to meet new people; you could just start talking to people at meetings, and you will always have something to talk about, since you guys are there for similar purposes. Complimenting people is also a great way to initiate conversations - you don't need to exaggerate and tell a big lie or anything, something simple and true like "I like your shirt" would work.

Ah someone like me.
I don't think that's changing who you are. I mean, your shyness doesn't define you as a whole.
Be yourself. I dunno one day I was just looking around me and I realized all those kids having fun were being themselves and enjoying having people enjoy them. The real them. Does that make sense?

Wow...you and I have pretty much the same personality. Crazy.

simple things to remember:

1- don't worry about sounding stupid.
2- don't worry about not being liked.

if you can get over these two fears, then you'll be fine.

you know those things you share with friends, that you don't share with other people because it might sound stupid?

just go ahead and say it.

you don't have to change your personality. all you're doing it letting more people see it.

talk to random people.