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princess2113
do u think its ok for parents to hit kids?? what abt older bros n sisters
Kathleen
Well, for no reason at all, of course not. I think it's only fair to hit kids when they deserve it. I mean, that's what I think is wrong with society today - parents don't take the roles as the actual parents, letting kids do whatever they want without discipline...it's wrong, in my opinion. Kids need to know what's wrong and what's right. They never learn because no one tells them.

And...is it okay for older brothers and sisters to hit kids? I don't think so - they're not the parents. As much as I would love to hit my sister, I don't; nor can I.
EmeraldKnight
QUOTE
I think it's only fair to hit kids when they deserve it.

Deserve it? What do you consider merits hitting?
Would that not spawn a sense of violence in the kids?

QUOTE
They never learn because no one tells them.

No one tells them? Why dont ppl tell them? Are there not other ways of discipline other than hitting?

Your argument seems to revolve around parents using hitting as discipline to foster a sense of right and wrong.. so by your same logic, do you also suggest teachers hitting misbehaving students?
Mireh
It depends on what the kid did first in the first place

But I don't think so.

But I agree with kathleen, paretns don't take control of their kids enough...
EmeraldKnight
QUOTE
It depends on what the kid did first in the first place

And what.. in your opinion, would merit being hit?

QUOTE
But I agree with kathleen, paretns don't take control of their kids enough...

They dont, I acknowledge that, but why do you propose hitting as a form of discipline?
fiji_kid
it all depands on how the parents beats them and what kind of child is that... whistling.gif
>>>> it better to take away their car or cell.... when they fell like hitting their child
DesperateXMeasures
I don't think kids should be hit period. No matter what they did. Hitting does not solve anything. It just exposes them to violence.
EmeraldKnight
QUOTE
No matter what they did. Hitting does not solve anything. It just exposes them to violence

There we go! Exactly my point
onenonly101
no hitting them(in a rightful way because they did something wrong) puts fear into them not to do the same that they did again. Abuse is wrong, but discipline is not wrong. Taking away someones television time isn't going to do anything. I got spanking whooping whatever you want to call them because I was a WILD child i meani was always in ISS but after getting spanked for doing those things and actually caring i changed who i was.

The soceity is so messed up today because no one discilpines there child. Everyone want s to be there child's friend. I have enough friends, I need someone to be my mother and father
EmeraldKnight
QUOTE
no hitting them(in a rightful way because they did something wrong) puts fear into them not to do the same that they did again

but then they learn that by hitting, ppl can be melded one way or the other..

I see what you're saying about how hitting would discipline them.. but too many parents that do hit their kids are abusive and ingrain a sense of violence in them, that they express in their own lives

I guess in an idealistic world, sparingly hitting a child for disciplinary purposes would help them develop a sense of right and wrong well.. but let's face it, we dont live in an idealistic world, and all too often the parents' anger and frustration at whatever the child has done gets out of hand.. and that's why I'm against this
onenonly101
Yeah I know about abuse. There is a bad side to everything because people misuse things. If your parent ever were to fit you on your face that is not discipline, that is them getting out their anger and a way of disrespecting you
stryker76
well i think that kids these days need to be smacked around a lil more...i mean i am the oldest and i have been hit few times by my parents...but i also repsect them my dad has never hit me...my mom has once or twice...Nad for older siblings...only in cases like a swat on the bottom but like when they are baby sitting that is all i can and or will do...i think that should be all it takes if that dont work...they can sit in there room for a hour or so till they get it in there head
juliar
QUOTE
Deserve it? What do you consider merits hitting?
Would that not spawn a sense of violence in the kids?

Hitting? Can you say underage sex, underage drinking, underage smoking, drugs, cutting class for weeks on end, gangs, stuff like that? I think hitting is OK, as long as it doesnt inflicy enough pain to leave marks or to make them cry.

QUOTE
do you also suggest teachers hitting misbehaving students?

Teachers are not within the family. They shouldnt touch people.
EmeraldKnight
QUOTE
Hitting? Can you say underage sex, underage drinking, underage smoking, drugs, cutting class for weeks on end, gangs, stuff like that? I think hitting is OK, as long as it doesnt inflicy enough pain to leave marks or to make them cry.

Ok, THAT I agree with, but more often than not, that does happen
princess2113
QUOTE(juliar @ May 21 2004, 9:19 PM)
Hitting? Can you say underage sex, underage drinking, underage smoking, drugs, cutting class for weeks on end, gangs, stuff like that? I think hitting is OK, as long as it doesnt inflicy enough pain to leave marks or to make them cry.


Teachers are not within the family. They shouldnt touch people.

lol arent u SUPPOSED to cry if u get hit?
juliar
Most people who are bad enough and horrible enough to do those things that MERIT hitting usually arent that scared of a slap, or a whack on the back, or a kick. I mean, I'm not that hardcore, and I can take a hit.
EmeraldKnight
QUOTE
Most people who are bad enough and horrible enough to do those things that MERIT hitting usually arent that scared of a slap, or a whack on the back, or a kick. I mean, I'm not that hardcore, and I can take a hit.

Would you consider bad grades meriting being hit? I know friends that've been hit because of grade issues
princess2113
QUOTE(juliar @ May 21 2004, 9:34 PM)
Most people who are bad enough and horrible enough to do those things that MERIT hitting usually arent that scared of a slap, or a whack on the back, or a kick. I mean, I'm not that hardcore, and I can take a hit.

i cant=(
Kathleen
Yeah; realize that the leaders of today were disciplined. Your parents were disciplined. The majority of them, anyways. It teaches you to learn respect, something that has been lost in this society. I'm not suggesting a downright beating until they bleed, but there needs to be some discipline. I mean, just because you take away their cell phone doesn't do much - it doesn't show you punishment. It's punishment, but it won't cover what children do today.
juliar
QUOTE(EmeraldKnight @ May 21 2004, 9:38 PM)
Would you consider bad grades meriting being hit? I know friends that've been hit because of grade issues

I've said what I think merits a hit. And what happens with your friends, there are different situations for everyone. I don't think I can go through each issue specifically, going over the details.
And no, I dont think grades merit a hit. It depends. Do they get 70s or 80s and get hit? Or 40s and 30s?
stryker76
I like home my dad does things.....

80 and ^..i get 20bux
70 and lower i owe him 20 bux
71-79...i brake even
TBoltzbabe
i dont think it's right for parents to hit kids, not because of "abuse," but just because it is ineffective. Okay, it works when you're a small child, and you learn the basis of respecting your parents. i know hitting your kids isn't abusive, because your parents still love you. but i still dont agree with it past the age of 10, and definetly not past 14.

when you hit a teenager, teenagers don't like to be humbled. we are offended and feel like our pride's been taken away, so instead of reacting with respect or having learned a lesson, we react with anger. well at least me anyways.
Jiggapin0
QUOTE(Kathleen @ May 21 2004, 9:41 PM)
Yeah; realize that the leaders of today were disciplined. Your parents were disciplined. The majority of them, anyways. It teaches you to learn respect, something that has been lost in this society. I'm not suggesting a downright beating until they bleed, but there needs to be some discipline. I mean, just because you take away their cell phone doesn't do much - it doesn't show you punishment. It's punishment, but it won't cover what children do today.

I have the exact same view.

The statement that the disciplinary hitting exposes a child to violence is complete bs. A child can be exposed to violence many other ways like on TV for example. I mean little kids be watching their favorite superheroes beatin' up on bad guys and what not. Does that mean they're goin' to grow up to be a violent person? Maybe, maybe not.
angel-roh
well of course... to pay attention and not do bad thins... if u meant like parents hitting their kids while doing drugs is SOOO ILLEGAL!!
princess2113
so if its ok...at what age is it NOT ok....n how do u know if its abuse...i mean if the rents r using belts is that bad then?
WildGriffin
QUOTE
so if its ok...at what age is it NOT ok....n how do u know if its abuse...i mean if the rents r using belts is that bad then?


It's upon the kids to tell their parents when it's not ok anymore.

It's abuse when a parent isn't punishing a child justly, rather taking out anger on them.

And belts are a little extreme, it gives the parents the luxury of not actually hitting their kid with their own hand.

But kids do need a little physical pain every now and then to snap them back into reality, or else they grow up into a brat. Just a little punishment though.
LiNHy POO
nooo!!!! wut kind of message will you give to them? it wont teach them from right or wrong!!! though they probaley wont ever do it again... they still wont get why its wrong... the parent has to talk to the child... make them understand wut they did was wrong... hitting them wont do anything... but scare them!
onenonly101
talking without something else will do nothing.
I saw this thing and the parents didn't discipline their kids. they would fight each other and the parents would stand there and say no spencer don't do that it hurt your brother. What did he do? turn around and slam him to the ground. Talk without actions doesn't do anything. I know i don't do things that i would get in trouble for anymore because my parents beat some sense into me, they didn't abuse me but when i did something wrong i would get a spanking. Now some parents take it tooo far. But i have gotten in trouble a few years back because i had 2 f, that was a point in my life when i was acting all sorts of crazy and didn't care but when i knew i had to come home and face the music it put fear in me and i wouldn't do it again
satisfied-tom
nooo its not ok. its child abuse!
charismatic_chick
oh boy... this brings back bad memories...

one day, i was in my bedroom and i heard my father yelling my name out and telling me to wash the dishes. I got out of my bedroom and went to the kitchen. While i was washing the dishes, my father kept talking about how i was a STUPID child... LAZY... etc... he kept dumping more dishes into the sink and one fell to the floor... i picked it up... he kept on talking and talking... that was when i got fed up with him and talked back (i was raised to not talk back to elders... especially family) so after a couple minutes of arguing... my dad raised his hand to smack me. I said "go ahead and hit me!" so... my father took his right hand and put it around my neck... i was pushed to the edge of the sink... and that's when my mother went into the kitchen and glared at me... she called my name and slapped me...

my older sister is worse... so no... i do not think it's EVER right to hit a child. I do believe in disclipline and that doesn't involve "no tv for a week" or "no more PS2!" I agree that parent's don't take enough actions with their children... but i don't think VERBAL abuse or PHYSICAL abuse is a good thing. trust me... i have to deal with both every day...
ComradeRed
QUOTE(Kathleen @ May 21 2004, 4:41 PM)
And...is it okay for older brothers and sisters to hit kids? I don't think so - they're not the parents. As much as I would love to hit my sister, I don't; nor can I.

You should. I probably would.
chewyXD
my mom beats me sometimes. but it's cuz i deserve it..
Spirited Away
QUOTE(WildGriffin @ May 22 2004, 9:47 AM)
It's upon the kids to tell their parents when it's not ok anymore.

It's abuse when a parent isn't punishing a child justly, rather taking out anger on them.

I agree with that wholeheartedly. The responsibility of abuse, lies not only on the parents, but also on the child. If you're seriously abused, speak out to someone, call for help, don't just 'take it like a man' when you can barely stand on your own two feet.

With most parents, they punish in hope to discipline their children for the better. Though that may not be effective for some parents, for some others, it's very effective.

I was raised with firm hands, and I dare say I've experienced belts, shoes, yard sticks, brooms... etc. But I don't consider myself to be a person who's prone to violent outbursts.

In fact, I'm so stubborn, that I think if my parents hadn't punished me the way they did, I would turn out to be such a menace, no good to anyone.
princess2113
i guess....:-/
YOWTF
Yes I think it is alright. Because first, it disciplines your child and teaches them that what they did was wrong so that they can learn the difference between right and wrong... But if taken too far (bruises, bleeding, etc.) like child abuse, absolutely no! I also agree with Kathleen, kids need to know what's right and wrong and not just do whatever the heck they want. Kids these days... wacko.gif
DisneyPrincessKate
When I was really little and still wearing diapers my mom used to hit my diaper because I wouldn't listen. Once I was out of them though neither one of my parents ever hit me. It's worked out pretty well. I don't get in trouble and I didn't need to be hit to become a good kid.

I don't see the point in hitting your kids. If my parents did hit me I wouldn't respect them. A kid can make their parent's lives Hell if they want.
queen
QUOTE(EmeraldKnight @ May 21 2004, 6:04 PM)
I see what you're saying about how hitting would discipline them.. but too many parents that do hit their kids are abusive and ingrain a sense of violence in them, that they express in their own lives

I guess in an idealistic world, sparingly hitting a child for disciplinary purposes would help them develop a sense of right and wrong well.. but let's face it, we dont live in an idealistic world, and all too often the parents' anger and frustration at whatever the child has done gets out of hand.. and that's why I'm against this

have you read any alice miller books? because she's a child psychologist that agrees that the root cause of violence in our society is due to childhood trauma. but not every kid that gets hit grows up to become a violent person... there are kids out there doin' whatever the hell they want to because their parents don't hit them. this gives them a sense of control over their parents. and there ARE parents out there who discipline their children the way they ought to be disciplined. i'm glad my parents beat the crap outta me when i caused trouble. i think, though, there's a certain age where discipline would be the most effective; for example, hitting a four year old is not exactly kosher haha.. but once the kid is 10-12 yrs old he should know right from wrong, and will understand why he gets punished. i believe there is a certain degree to which you can punish a child also. like they say, the punishment should match the crime.
Kathleen
QUOTE
have you read any alice miller books? because she's a child psychologist that agrees that the root cause of violence in our society is due to childhood trauma.

Hmm...for one, how qualified is she for this job, and secondly, are we going to decide on how we treat our kids based on this one lady?

QUOTE
i believe there is a certain degree to which you can punish a child also. like they say, the punishment should match the crime.

I do somewhat agree with the last part of your post. _smile.gif
princess2113
but by hitting ur kids doesnt it give them the idea that its ok to hit....i mean what r u gonna do if ur kid gets in a fight...hit them for hitting?
Kathleen
QUOTE
but by hitting ur kids doesnt it give them the idea that its ok to hit....i men what r u gonna do if ur kid gets in a fight...hit them for hitting?

What are you going to do instead? Take away their cell phones? Oh the poor thing. That teaches them ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! That's what's wrong with society...people are too scared. Just look at politicians. No one wants to do something about gay marriages simply because they're scared of losing their job if they actually say they don't see anything wrong in them.
princess2113
QUOTE(Kathleen @ Jun 12 2004, 10:56 PM)
What are you going to do instead? Take away their cell phones? Oh the poor thing. That teaches them ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! That's what's wrong with society...people are too scared. Just look at politicians. No one wants to do something about gay marriages simply because they're scared of losing their job if they actually say they don't see anything wrong in them.

yeah i guess i see what ur saying but i mean if its 2 lil kids n ur kid hits the kid and then u smack them....i mean they r gonna think so mommy can hit me but i cant hit ppl....the politicians thing confused me...r u saying parents r afraid of punishing their kids b/c they dunt wanna lose friendships with their kids?
queen
QUOTE(Kathleen @ Jun 12 2004, 10:23 PM)
Hmm...for one, how qualified is she for this job, and secondly, are we going to decide on how we treat our kids based on this one lady?

nah i just brought that up for that dude i quoted to see if he agreed with her theories. she's a world reknowned child psychologist, though i see many holes i her theory, and i personally don't believe it. i just did an essay on her work, so his comment reminded me of her haha.

QUOTE
What are you going to do instead? Take away their cell phones? Oh the poor thing. That teaches them ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! That's what's wrong with society...people are too scared. Just look at politicians. No one wants to do something about gay marriages simply because they're scared of losing their job if they actually say they don't see anything wrong in them.

...lol omg, mommy, don't take away my cellie please! ;o
onenonly101
QUOTE
I don't see the point in hitting your kids. If my parents did hit me I wouldn't respect them. A kid can make their parent's lives Hell if they want


I wouldn't respect my parents if they let me run free without punishment. The point in hitting the child is to teach them discipline. So called punishment with taking things away means nothing to me cuz shoot i can entertain myslef and have a good ole time. Plus when i got spanked, beat, whatever you want to call it, it was done and over with after that no hard feelings but i knew not to do what i did again. Man if i wasn't afraid of my parents i would run free
Kathleen
QUOTE
yeah i guess i see what ur saying but i mean if its 2 lil kids n ur kid hits the kid and then u smack them....i mean they r gonna think so mommy can hit me but i cant hit ppl....the politicians thing confused me...r u saying parents r afraid of punishing their kids b/c they dunt wanna lose friendships with their kids?

Yes, but the mother is the authority here - there's a difference. With the politician remark, I was simply commenting on the fact that they're too afraid to do anything drastic because they don't want to lose their jobs (i.e. gay marriages...the majority of people don't want them, and the others that don't see anything wrong in them won't even speak up). Um I'm saying parents are afraid of punishing their kids because society has altered drastically. One little hit can be called "child abuse" nowadays.

QUOTE
nah i just brought that up for that dude i quoted to see if he agreed with her theories. she's a world reknowned child psychologist, though i see many holes i her theory, and i personally don't believe it. i just did an essay on her work, so his comment reminded me of her haha.

Oh okay. thumbsup.gif
juliar
QUOTE
my older sister is worse... so no... i do not think it's EVER right to hit a child. I do believe in disclipline and that doesn't involve "no tv for a week" or "no more PS2!" I agree that parent's don't take enough actions with their children... but i don't think VERBAL abuse or PHYSICAL abuse is a good thing. trust me... i have to deal with both every day...

So we do....?
Using any weapon or anything besides your own hand in hitting a child is wrong. If youre going to hit them, use your own hand.
ryfitaDF
QUOTE(princess2113 @ May 21 2004, 4:36 PM)
do u think its ok for parents to hit kids?? what abt older bros n sisters

me and my sisters beatthe crap pit of eachother frequently, and i'm great. i dunno about the, but it's a good estemation that they are.
queen
QUOTE(charismatic_chick @ May 26 2004, 3:02 PM)
but i don't think VERBAL abuse or PHYSICAL abuse is a good thing. trust me... i have to deal with both every day...

verbal and physical ABUSE is not the same as verbal and physical DISCIPLINE
iheartsimba
I think a spanking now and then is okay but when it goes to the hurting point thats when it's gone to far.

brothers and sisters? NO. My brother hits me for no reasons, its definitly NOT ok. And you need to tell someone. I told my parents and they don't care, my borther knows I will do something about it eventually.

You just need to show them you arn't scared of them
JlIaTMK
NO

not for reasons or no reasons.... its just not right

1. if u raised your child properly with discipline and respect then they would know enough as not to go that far as to getting hit by their parents

2. also its a bad way to show an example to your kid.... they might behave in the same way when they grow up and have kids of their own

3. I dont think theres such thing as physical discipline.... discipline is teaching your child to behave right not to make them hurt
shawty_redd
it depends on what the kid does..but i dont think its right to hit kids and brothers and sisters definately don't have right to hit their older/younger siblings..
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