"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline
with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."

- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach
Jerry Tarkanian

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season.
One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."

- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant,
usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Football players win football games."
- Chuck Knox, football coach

"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of
Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar
system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the
concept of a manned mission to Mars

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to
comply with the law."
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering
accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or
college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or
something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago
Bull's team chemistry being overrated

"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was
like by a student in East London

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching
television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It
is a device that is exploding."
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear
weapons

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from
overseas."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

"The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas."
- Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster

"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is
hitting and fielding."
- Mickey Rivers, baseball player

Dan Quayle quotes = t3h funn4y.
Chicago..haahaha

- Chinkieeyedpnoi

Lmao, those are hilarious. Gave me a good laugh

Those were cool...

Had me trying to keep my volume down... Because... I'm in a quiet house.. But anyway. Can I try?

"I'm not a brunette I'm brown!" - Carol Ann Kimbrow, Little Sister

LOL that's pretty good *adds to my collection*

it scares me how stupid the human race can be.

Carol Malia, owned!

"Ich bin ein berliner" - I am A Donut - By a US President (can't remember which one) when giving a speech to the residents of Berlin...silly man

haha, funny

*Slaps knee and falls apart laughing*

YES... i had like... a collection of these


two more...
"i have made good decisions in the past, i have made good decisions in the future"
- George Bush... [i forget which one]

"my mother never understood the irony of calling me a son-of-a-bitch"
- Jack Nickolson

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season.
One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach


that's funny.

Canada is not over-sea...lol, britneys spears is sooo smart.

oh my goodness how can chicago be a state. no no

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of
Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

haha lmao those r pretty funni

lmao.

haha those are hilarious are they true?

If electricity didn't exist, there wouldn't even be a television in the first place! lol

All of the other quotes are really funny too!

That Chicago one...haha too funny.

i like that one..thats funnie..it took me a while to get..at first i was like uhh..whats so weird about that?? LoL