Momma used to tell me that love wasn't real
and that you couldn't always tell by the way that you feel
Momma used to tell me that the tales were fake
and in order to have a happy ending it was up to you to make
Momma used to tell me that love was a dream
and when you finally get a hold of it, it isn't what it seems
As time slowly passed, my momma was right
There was no prince charming, no love at first sight
Momma used to sing about how her and dad used to be
Used to be together, in love, even had a family
But now all that love is gone, it can never come back
cause I knew that it was over when daddy stood at the door with his sack
There were tears in our eyes, and thats when I knew
Momma was right when she said that it hurts to lose a boo.
I never wanna feel the pain that I once felt.
But still I long for that feeling, for that boy who would make my heart melt.
But alas, momma is right and that's all I'll ever know
why? because I never again want to see my daddy go.
And the memory still replays in my mind
every second, every minute, every single time...

Basically, just need some C&C. Wrote this out of boredom.

I don't think there really can be any critisism (sp??). Its very nicely written, and I love it. Comments are...why I don't have critisism. haha.

^ Thanks Sierra

It sounds like a rap to me
But it's good =)

^ LOL That's what I thought when I read it over.

Say...this is starting to sound like a rap

Lol Steffie, now that I think about it, it kidna does.

Jane, that's such a cute rap.. I mean poem.

Oh sure, just cause of the mommas?

This a great poem or er rap? Lol. I usually dont like poems that rhyme but this is perfect. It's not forced and it flows.

^ thank you so much

sure does, but it sounds great.

I loved this one. It really portrayed one's desire to avoid pain and yet experience the one thing that causes it. I love it love it love it.(for a second I was like...yeah me ghetto )

^ Thank you so much Yen.

^You're welcome.