I know there's probably tons of topics already with this same content on problems with/ending relationships almost, but I doubt any of them sound like this. If I'm wrong and I just missed something, I'd really like to see one that looks like it so I could see what others had to say about this situation.
Apologies in advance.

Here's the problem, a bit lengthy, but I figure I want a full detail answer on what to do instead of something vague like "follow your heart" and not know what to do with that piece of advice :

Anyway, I've been "seeing" this guy for almost three months or so. I would say dating, but I feel the relationship isn't even that serious. (I'll get to that) I know, some people are saying "that's great! Why end it now?" but that's the thing.

It's a nagging feeling I've been having for quite some time, but I feel like the only reason I accepted him was because I was bullied into the relationship. No, no one physically harassed me or anything, but at the time, it was fully publicized (sp?) and everyone was literally crowded around me at the end of our first "try out" date at the mall (since it was sort of a school trip thing), expecting my answer right out. Already that created too much stress, and I didn't want to come off as being a snotty witch rejecting him in front of everyone and strangers. Not only would people say something to me about how rude I was to him, getting his hopes up, but then he'd be made fun of for being rejected probably. He had to have my friend's current boyfriend at the time ask me out for him, which pretty much sums up how bad his shyness is. I think it may have to do with the fact that I'm his first girlfriend, but I don't know... I find it awkward.

I figured everyone deserves a chance and quite possibly it couldn't be all that bad. So obviously I accepted, and to tell you the truth, I think I actually liked him.

But the thing is, it just doesn't even feel like I have a boyfriend when I think about him. He doesn't call. Not even my cell phone. About the only time we ever talked on the phone, it was for five minutes, and I was the one who iniatiated it. Not him. He hasn't planned any dates for us to go on. Whenever I IM him, he only says maybe a few things, but then never responds, and it's on a rare occassion that I'll even get a single "good bye" from him. In fact, our relationship doesn't look any different than the ones he has with all his casual friends that are girls, apart with occassional hugging of course. He doesn't even want to tell his parents that he has a girlfriend. That's pretty odd because he makes it sound like it's typical for the boy's parents to be more concerned about their son's dating rather than the parents of the daughter to be spazzing about her first boyfriend, her safety, or vice versa. (You get what I'm saying almost?)

It makes it worse to decide on a final decision when my friends (some of the ones who were in that large crowd in the beginning) are all "Aww! It's soooo cute!" and I just feel like I've been playing along with them. It upsets me even more when one of my friends declares that I'm the more "dominate one in the relationship". I realize that's not the way I want it to be. To sum it up, I feel more like the boy in the relationship that's supposed to lead the girl. Not to insult his masculinity or anything, but really, that's another thing that's been bugging me. I understand that he's extremely shy and sensitive, but I think there comes a time when you really need to stand up for yourself and stop being such a baby.

The other thing is he was also one of my close guy friends too. I thought that would be a plus since it helps to have known the person you date a bit before they make a move. But I know that if I end this relationship now, it may damage the friendship we had before. Another mistake I failed to observe in the beginning.

Don't get me wrong, he's a very polite boy. Not once has he insulted me. He opens doors for me and the two times we actually did go out to eat, he paid. He hasn't even cheated, though I highly doubt he'd have the guts to talk to another girl since he even admitted that I could easily beat him up if I were to ever get angry.

So my question is, though I think I know the answer; I'm just looking for support:
Is this relationship "meant to be" and just needs time to develope, or should I really just call it quits, and if so, how without being extremely harsh?

if its not working for you, then tell him straight up.

something simular happened with me and my first boyfriend. to be honest, i dont really considor him a boyfriend, but i was forced to count him as one anyways. the whole thing started with his friends getting all hyped about it and it got pretty obvious. after 1 night at the movies a became "his girl" which was totaly not true. there were 3 ppl that night at the movies, we'd never even held hands. and when he first asked me to that movie it was "as friends" so why was i all of a sudden his girlfriend?

we were friends before that but after 2 months of our so called 'relationship' i couldn't take it anymore and just broke up with him. It was hard to tell him. but i did it anyways.

the only thing to remember when breaking up is be very vague about why. don't give alot of specific reasons, its painful to listen to. just say "its not working" or something and leave it at that.

You've told us how you feel, but have you told him?

you have to speak up and tell him what's wrong, don't be like me i just kept everything inside and now my relationship is falling apart. maybe the both of you could work something out. but if you feel like your relationship is a dead end then break up with him, ask yourself do you really like him? or was it just the peer pressure. if you don't feel like he's your bf then maybe you should just end the relationship? there's no non harsh way to break up with someone either way it's still going to hurt.

Thanks for the advice guys.