I read this just now, and I was wondering how many girls' fathers feel this way. heh.. It's actually pretty funny, though. =P
<RULE 1>
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package,because you're sure not picking anything up.
<RULE 2>
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body,I will remove them.
<RULE 3>
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for
boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that
they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take
this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.
Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not,
in fact come off during the course of you date with my
daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten
your trousers securely in place to your waist.
<RULE 4>
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex
without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind
can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I
am the barrier, and I will kill you.
<RULE 5>
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to
know each other, we should talk about sports, politics
and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The
only information I require from you is an indication of
when you expect to have my daughter safely back at
my house,and the only word I need from you on
this subject is: "early"
<RULE 6>
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many
opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me
as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise,once you have gone out with my little
girl, you will continue to date no one but her until
she is finished with you.If you make her cry, I will make
you cry.
<RULE 7>
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my
daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes
by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time
for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is
putting on her makeup, a process than can take
longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead
of just standing there, why don't you do something
useful, like changing the oil in my car?
<RULE 8>
The following places are not appropriate for a date
with my daughter: Places where there are
beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
Places where there is darkness. Places where
there is dancing,holding hands or happiness. Places
where the ambient temperature is warm enough to
introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank
tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than
overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka--zipped up to her
throat.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are
to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are
okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks home are
better.
<RULE 9>
Do not lie to me.I may appear to be potbellied, balding, middle-aged, imwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-
knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask
you where you are going and with whom, you have one
chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five
acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
<RULE 10>
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to
mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a
chopper coming in over a rice paddy near
Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the
voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the
guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As
soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the
car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter
password, announce in a clear voice that you have
brought my daughter home safely and early.
Credit: Solid07
Full Version: Girls!
haha that's amazing. Reminds me of my dad.
Haha.
That does not sound like my dad at all.
That does not sound like my dad at all.
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 2>
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body,I will remove them.
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body,I will remove them.
rule 2 applies with my dad except it's like multiplied by ten and all the rules related to it. my ex boyfriend was hugging me like a month ago and my dad got pissed. i wasn't even hugging him back!
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 7>
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my
daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes
by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time
for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is
putting on her makeup, a process than can take
longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead
of just standing there, why don't you do something
useful, like changing the oil in my car?
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my
daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes
by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time
for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is
putting on her makeup, a process than can take
longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead
of just standing there, why don't you do something
useful, like changing the oil in my car?
this would not apply...i don't take too long nor do i wear make up
i'm not sure about some of the other rules, my dad kind of doesn't really care...not that he's easy going but he has better things to do and i have never introduced my parents to any guys.
Are you sure my dad didn't write this?
haha no my dad isn't really like that. he gets nosy and friendly though. like "soooo what are you guys doing tomorrow night? it's a friday? you must be hanging out right? yeaa that's what i thought." 
^x2 Hahaha
Some of the rules remind me of my dad, but most don't. I am almost 18 and have been dating for a while. Also, I have had the same boyfriend for almost a year so he has already gotten the heat from my dad.
Some of the rules remind me of my dad, but most don't. I am almost 18 and have been dating for a while. Also, I have had the same boyfriend for almost a year so he has already gotten the heat from my dad.
haha that's funny, but it's one thing I never had to deal with since my dad isn't around anymore. But my brother now takes that position 
Hahahah, that made me laugh. It doesn't really apply to me except maybe #4 and #6. My dad and my boyfriend really like each other. I think my boyfriend would rather date my dad, haha, they have so much in common.
haha i found that very entertaining. I don't think my dad is like this. He was the one that wanted me to move into the basement of his house so I could throw crazy parties. He is protective of me about everything else, but when it comes to dating boys he's pretty chill about it. Well, except he told me once that if a boy forced me into having sex, that he would kill him and wouldnt' care he was in jail for it. And he was very serious about it too. So I really don't keep in touch with him about me dating or anything, because I'm sure If i told him some stories, then he would be in jail. I could just hear him now, "He pressured you into what??!".
lol but those rules were hilarious =) made me laugh
lol but those rules were hilarious =) made me laugh
Hah that's funny, but doesn't really sound like my dad... But like Chii, I try not to introduce my boyfriend to my parents.
lol, not sure if my dad would say that, but it made me laugh.
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 1>
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package,because you're sure not picking anything up.
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package,because you're sure not picking anything up.
^haha, true
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 2>
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body,I will remove them.
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body,I will remove them.
^probably.
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 3>
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for
boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that
they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take
this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.
Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not,
in fact come off during the course of you date with my
daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten
your trousers securely in place to your waist.
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for
boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that
they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take
this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.
Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not,
in fact come off during the course of you date with my
daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten
your trousers securely in place to your waist.
^HAHAHAHA!! my dad wouldnt do that but its pretty funny.
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 4>
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex
without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind
can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I
am the barrier, and I will kill you.
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex
without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind
can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I
am the barrier, and I will kill you.
^true, true.
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 5>
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to
know each other, we should talk about sports, politics
and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The
only information I require from you is an indication of
when you expect to have my daughter safely back at
my house,and the only word I need from you on
this subject is: "early"
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to
know each other, we should talk about sports, politics
and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The
only information I require from you is an indication of
when you expect to have my daughter safely back at
my house,and the only word I need from you on
this subject is: "early"
^oh, yes. my dad wouldn definitely want that.
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 6>
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many
opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me
as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise,once you have gone out with my little
girl, you will continue to date no one but her until
she is finished with you.If you make her cry, I will make
you cry.
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many
opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me
as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise,once you have gone out with my little
girl, you will continue to date no one but her until
she is finished with you.If you make her cry, I will make
you cry.
^LMAO.
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 7>
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my
daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes
by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time
for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is
putting on her makeup, a process than can take
longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead
of just standing there, why don't you do something
useful, like changing the oil in my car?
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my
daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes
by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time
for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is
putting on her makeup, a process than can take
longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead
of just standing there, why don't you do something
useful, like changing the oil in my car?
^OMGAH. HAHA!!!
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 8>
The following places are not appropriate for a date
with my daughter: Places where there are
beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
Places where there is darkness. Places where
there is dancing,holding hands or happiness. Places
where the ambient temperature is warm enough to
introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank
tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than
overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka--zipped up to her
throat.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are
to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are
okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks home are
better.
The following places are not appropriate for a date
with my daughter: Places where there are
beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
Places where there is darkness. Places where
there is dancing,holding hands or happiness. Places
where the ambient temperature is warm enough to
introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank
tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than
overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka--zipped up to her
throat.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are
to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are
okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks home are
better.
^ its fine to watch chain saws but not ok to be happy? lol!!
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 9>
Do not lie to me.I may appear to be potbellied, balding, middle-aged, imwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-
knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask
you where you are going and with whom, you have one
chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five
acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Do not lie to me.I may appear to be potbellied, balding, middle-aged, imwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-
knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask
you where you are going and with whom, you have one
chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five
acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
^balding with a shotgun. hah!
QUOTE(xlitoxb @ Dec 9 2005, 8:55 AM)
<RULE 10>
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to
mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a
chopper coming in over a rice paddy near
Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the
voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the
guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As
soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the
car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter
password, announce in a clear voice that you have
brought my daughter home safely and early.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to
mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a
chopper coming in over a rice paddy near
Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the
voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the
guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As
soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the
car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter
password, announce in a clear voice that you have
brought my daughter home safely and early.
^aw, that one is KIND of cute.
haha, that was hilarious.
QUOTE
<RULE 4>
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex
without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind
can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I
am the barrier, and I will kill you.
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex
without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind
can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I
am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Heck yes my Dad. Times like infinity.
QUOTE
<RULE 6>
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many
opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me
as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise,once you have gone out with my little
girl, you will continue to date no one but her until
she is finished with you.If you make her cry, I will make
you cry.
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many
opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me
as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise,once you have gone out with my little
girl, you will continue to date no one but her until
she is finished with you.If you make her cry, I will make
you cry.
This is every one of my male friends, family, and Dad.
QUOTE
<RULE 9>
Do not lie to me.I may appear to be potbellied, balding, middle-aged, imwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-
knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask
you where you are going and with whom, you have one
chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five
acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Do not lie to me.I may appear to be potbellied, balding, middle-aged, imwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-
knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask
you where you are going and with whom, you have one
chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five
acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
LMAO this is my DAD he will bring out the gun and start polishing it while I sit with my boyfriend.
I'm sure all dads aren't as strict as this, but those rules made me laugh.Thanks for the post!
Oh my god, these are all true. My father said all of these to me once. I never knew they were true! haha
haha, cute and funny.
This is cute (kinda) and it cracked me up.... i dont think my dad is THIS strict though. lol. thats one lucky daughter. haha.
heh.. Wow.. I didnt' think people would still see this. =]
I'm glad that everyone finds it funny, though. hehe.. That was like the total purpose. =D I do have to say though that my dad's like 50% of that. Scary.. =P
I'm glad that everyone finds it funny, though. hehe.. That was like the total purpose. =D I do have to say though that my dad's like 50% of that. Scary.. =P
they sound like my mom and dad
I haven't been on a date, but I wouldn't be surprised if my dad acted a bit like this, only not as intense. Plus, for the getting ready one, um...hey, I don't own make-up, so what are you talking about? Maybe if I forgot that I had a date and was on the computer instead...JK!
hahaha that's hilarious. i hope my dad's not like that.
my parents always told me to focus on school. i vaguely remember my mom telling me that i should't date until im in high school. Well...i only went ahead 1 year =D
my dad is usually on the other side of the planet earth so he doesn't really have that much control, does he.
my mom, on the other hand, is the most supportive and understanding person ever. God i love her. Not only did she always insist on inviting my ex to my house, but she'd always buy us food or give us a ride or anything we ever needed. She even went out shopping sometimes to leave us alone .
and she was always thinking of something for me to give their family, like a box of cookies or a cake or a painting or something.
I'm so happy that she trusts me so much. and there haven't been any unexpected babies from me so i think im doing a good job too
my dad is usually on the other side of the planet earth so he doesn't really have that much control, does he.
my mom, on the other hand, is the most supportive and understanding person ever. God i love her. Not only did she always insist on inviting my ex to my house, but she'd always buy us food or give us a ride or anything we ever needed. She even went out shopping sometimes to leave us alone .
and she was always thinking of something for me to give their family, like a box of cookies or a cake or a painting or something.I'm so happy that she trusts me so much. and there haven't been any unexpected babies from me so i think im doing a good job too
my dads not like that..
he occasionally makes a joke out of
"he better be looking after you or else..."
but yea otherwise he's pretty cool.
.. i rememeber whenever id go out with my guy friends "dont do anything stupid"
wat the hellwould i do
i was like 12..
i wasnt thinking about any sexual things then.. i was innocent
he occasionally makes a joke out of
"he better be looking after you or else..."
but yea otherwise he's pretty cool.
.. i rememeber whenever id go out with my guy friends "dont do anything stupid"
wat the hellwould i do
i was like 12.. i wasnt thinking about any sexual things then.. i was innocent
QUOTE(yummy_delight @ Dec 9 2005, 1:39 PM)
Are you sure my dad didn't write this?
Hehe. I totally agree. My dad would do the same thing ^_^
My dad is so like that. Especially the part about the shot gun. 
If he knew where I was going when I was taking an extra-long "walk"(my bf's house is 7 blocks away), murder would ensue.
If he knew where I was going when I was taking an extra-long "walk"(my bf's house is 7 blocks away), murder would ensue.
Hahaha, that's pretty crazy stuff.
It's pretty.. true. Sort of. It would be if I had a boyfriend.
It's pretty.. true. Sort of. It would be if I had a boyfriend.
Wow, that has to suck for anyone who has parents like that. Mine trust me, so I don't have to worry about that stuff.
does #2 count if you two kiss, then hug goodbye and you turn around and hes walking down the hall (hes a football coach).....think he would be mad then? i mean, the guy didnt know he was there, otherwise, he would have NEVER done that. (also, he and the dad (coach) are real good friends, he was one of his best players.)
sounds like my dad. but he dont care that much.. but when it comes to guys pants he`ll go off.
lols yes..i do beleive my dad would act that way...i mean he doesn't go all out...but yeah he's extremely over protective of me...after all i am his last baby girl... 
This rules applies to me esp. since I have an angry father with a bat in his hands at all times and 5 really tall brothers 
suprisingly my lil bro is the only one that wants me to get a bf lol
suprisingly my lil bro is the only one that wants me to get a bf lol
That's my dad... and older brother... and all my guy friends (except for the daughter part).
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