Well, for all of you reading this...
I was planning to tell him, but he found out from someone and I don't know who told him. Now both him & his girlfriend (whom I'm friends with) aren't talking now.

- Edit -

Well, this story started back in June, but I'll try to sum it up quickly.

June - August
I came out gay. I started falling for one of my closest friends. He was the only one who supported me. I tried avoiding him in July & August because I thought the feelings would go away.

September
School started and he's in my homeroom so I just tried to deal with the fact he was back in my life on a daily routine. I played everything off as just a crush and it was stupid and it was going to go away. We were walking to practice one day and he was like, "yo did you know gay people scare me? Not you though, your cool." It meant a lot to me and it made me feel better because a lot of people was always starting sh*t with me and he always just made me feel better.

October
He invited me to a party, I said no because I was wimpy. I was talking to one of my friends and she told me that she thought I was falling in love with him. I play it off again thinking that it could never happen. I mean, he's my best friend.

November
Here's where the fun begins. We start hanging out more because I'm a loser who always tries to hang around him. My feelings start to escalate and I just like him more and more to the extent I have trouble being around him. Last night we were at the mall and someone invited him so I decided to leave. I felt like buying chapstick before I left so I went to a store like right next to the exit. I went in and waited in the long ass line and I was about to buy it when I see him at the window and he runs to the window. I literally drop everything I have (which was about a five dollar bill and some change) and I run out. He starts to chase me (and he just happens to be the track all star) so he runs after me and catches me in like two seconds. He's like hey whats up, and I just look at him and run out. I just felt so, well I don't know how I felt. Later last night, I texted him and say I needed to talk to him today (there was a crew dinner party). The party gets canceled, and restarted and my friend calls him to tell him to come over because its on again but he doesn't come. I wasn't sure if he was going to come in the first place, but I really don't know what to do at this point.

So basically what I'm asking is what should I do. My friends think I'm in love with him besides me knowing I'm not, I can't be. He's my best friend. I want to tell him, but I'm afraid that what I think he's going to do, he's not...if that makes any sense. Well, I'll explain if you don't get it. I picture him just being, oh thats cool and not making a big deal out of it, but what he said earlier (2nd to last line in September) is what makes me worry that he's going to freak out. I don't want to lose him as a friend because he's more than just a friend to me, but I can't just start talking to him like we used to because there are just so many emotions that swell up and all that crap.

you think your in love. well maybe you aren't...and you feel this way because he's the only one who actually supports who you are...besides me of course :D and you find him as someone to talk to and listen to. This is the closest you ever felt with someone probably who your interested in. But can't cause he's a good friend of yours. well like i said before Kev. you know what i said. im not going to repeat it cause its way to long...but just try to be brave alright hunn...pinky swear

you can't keep all your emotions bottled up like that...you're only going to hurt yourself and him because he doesn't really know what's going on, with you running away and stuff.

as hard as it is, you really need to talk about things with him, then things won't be as awkward anymore. he accepts you, and he's your best friend, he'll understand. when you get it off your chest, you'll feel different. maybe you won't appear to be as in love with him, maybe it really was just a crush but since you've avoided him for so long it blew out of proportion in your head.

That's what I'm afraid of. I know he's homophobic on a slight level, but he isn't too worried with me for whatever reason it is. I am really worried that he just might stop being friends and all because of this, and the reason I am worried is because he is the only guy friend I have at school. It's more than just that. I've known him for about a year and a half now and he's done a lot for me in my past and saved me from a lot of things. I guess I kind of look up to him as a father figure because my own family is really messed up and my dad is just..bleh and my friend is the guy who I look up too alot.

And about the blowing it out of proportion, I think it is a very good possibiltiy, but I need to be positive. I'm still just scared to tell him for the thing I just said.

"feelings are like pimples, takes awhile for the grease to build up and form...then they're hard to get rid of because if you pop your pimple, you will bleed, but if you rinse your face daily and work on it little by little, it goes away. then suddenly you don't feel anything for that person anymore..." -chi z.

i posted that b4..but not really to that extent....haha thats the best way to put it if you don't want to lose him as a friend..some things are better left unsaid...but then again...that can stress you out...so you should tell him...lols don't tell him you're in love with him because you say you're not...so you're not! ^^ just tell him you've been having feelings for him as more than a friend and you thought he should know even though you dont expect anything to happen.(because of course you did say he was "homophobic" right?) lols...if he was really your friend he would really respect you for telling him and he would understand....=)

Agreed.

Do YOU think your in love with him ? Only you can determine wether you are or are not, and if you arent, tell him so. If you are, then do the best you can to try and let him know. He has stuck by you, and if hes the best friend you say he is this shouldn't affect your friendship that much. Im not gonna lie, he most likely will feel awkward or odd sometimes, but he will learn to maybe accept it.

Wow. Eeirie.

Two good friends of mine were in a situation thats not all that dissimilar.
A gay friend of mine felt lust at first sight upon meeting another friend of mine (who asserts that he is straight but I have my doubts) who is quite homophobic.

My gay friend ended up confessing his feelings to the 'straight' friend. Anyways, the straight friend said he was flattered etcetc but was straight and thus didn't feel the same way but was happy to be friends.

So they stayed friends, but all the while my gay friend kept on battling his feelings for my straight friend - not at all helped by the fact that my straight friend gives out gay 'vibes' and has experimented with males before, to quite a great extent/ This happened later on down the track, after my gay friend had moved interstate because he didn't like being around my straight friend because of his feelings towards him that he wanted to try to get over.
My gay friend is slowly but surely getting over my straight friend although this was made much more difficult when he found out about my straight friends experimenting (imagine what that did to his body image and self esteem!)


Anyways, my point (if I have one at all) is that it can be a really tricky situation. Either way, you're likely to be in for some heartache *hugs*
Ultimately the decision to tell your friend how you feel about him has to be yours and yours alone. I think you must be a very brave person for coming out so young, it can't have been easy for you!

How should I do it though? Should I just do it casually...
'Hey'
'Hey, whats up'
'Nothing, guess what I like you'
Yeah maybe not like that, but should I just tell him like its nothing or what?

Sir I applaud you.


Feelings are feelings, regardless if it's some subconscious psychological defense. (There is a chance your mind has feelings for him because he is the strongest support you have in being gay. This is a psychological defense, but it's still feelings.)

So I can see the dilemma. It's not good to bottle it up. If you're feeling like you just can't hold it in and must know how this will end, you should tell him. When you tell him, there is a risk he will freak out and just stop talking to you. Gotta accept the risk.

He might return the feelings, good stuff. Awesome.
He might say that's cool..but I'm not that way, that's ok you're still his best friend and there's still time to get his love, right? =P

Or he might run away. If this happens, you should call him.

So weigh your values. Do you want to keep the security that he will be your friend or do you want to tell him the truth and take the risk. What is worth more to you?


To tell him, I think you should be all serious and sit him down alone w/ you and just tell him.

And then just surf the wave, storm or paradise it may be.

Whatever the result you should tell me.

you can't just keep all this feeling and emotions inside you, sooner or later it's going to hurt you one way or another, just tell him how you feel, he's your best friend isn't he? he should understand. don't worry about the outcome too much, you'd feel much better after opening up

- updatee -
Well, another guy came out "gay" and the guy I like found out. They are both friends by the way and right now he is really freaked out and really doesn't like him anymore. Those two used to be good friends, but now they aren't. I know he says he's ok with me and he acts fine, but if one of his other good friends came out and he can't accept it, then I don't believe he'll be fine with me. Thanks for the advice guys, but I guess this is something that I'm going to have to deal with. Only two more years of him until I go to college right?

im not sure what to say... did you tell him?

you need a hug

wow. sticky situation..

i guess you have to kind of play the scene in your head with his reactions. like, you said he's your best friend, so shouldn't you know him quite well? and yeah, if you think his reactions are endurable for you. go for it : )

One of my best friends said she was bi and told her friend she liked her and now its all akward because my friends crush has a bf now. I understand your story...

just cuz someone says gay people scare them doesn't mena thier homophobic really, its not specific enough, he could be scated of a gay man hittign on him, hitting on a lez, or just feaked out by the fact there are so many around on the past years...idk, could be anything. id ask your friend what he ment.

i think that for the sake of your friendship, you shouldn't tell him. losing him as a friend would be worse than having these mixed up confusing feelings. eventually, they'll pass or make more sense. and maybe in time he will be comfortable enough with the situation to accept your feelings.

i just think you should wait.