Full Version: The Big Lie
Hello everyone I wrote an article about how the big media machine is lying to us all. Check it out http://freakmag.com/The_Vibe/The_Big_Lie.html All opinions are apreciated.
Your opening sentence was a little hard to follow. I'm not sure what the Big Lie is, since you never actually say it in your article. And your solution to the glamorizations of being a gangster or a slut are sort of obvious.
1.) i think this belongs to Writing
2.) this is more of an opiniated way to convince someone to boycott buying artists' merchandise
3.) it's kinda one-sided
4.) it's too short
5.) it's repetitive
6.) sounds like you're preaching
7.) you need to elaborate on the big lie
2.) this is more of an opiniated way to convince someone to boycott buying artists' merchandise
3.) it's kinda one-sided
4.) it's too short
5.) it's repetitive
6.) sounds like you're preaching
7.) you need to elaborate on the big lie
QUOTE(andromeda_90 @ Nov 25 2005, 5:13 PM)
1.) i think this belongs to Writing
2.) this is more of an opiniated way to convince someone to boycott buying artists' merchandise
3.) it's kinda one-sided
4.) it's too short
5.) it's repetitive
6.) sounds like you're preaching
7.) you need to elaborate on the big lie
^ Andromeda_90 said most of the things I wanted to say. 2.) this is more of an opiniated way to convince someone to boycott buying artists' merchandise
3.) it's kinda one-sided
4.) it's too short
5.) it's repetitive
6.) sounds like you're preaching
7.) you need to elaborate on the big lie
I agree, it is a bit repeative. Far too short for an article. And the opening needs to be a bit more clear.
QUOTE(andromeda_90 @ Nov 25 2005, 3:13 PM)
1.) i think this belongs to Writing
2.) this is more of an opiniated way to convince someone to boycott buying artists' merchandise
3.) it's kinda one-sided
4.) it's too short
5.) it's repetitive
6.) sounds like you're preaching
7.) you need to elaborate on the big lie
2.) this is more of an opiniated way to convince someone to boycott buying artists' merchandise
3.) it's kinda one-sided
4.) it's too short
5.) it's repetitive
6.) sounds like you're preaching
7.) you need to elaborate on the big lie
I agree. It took me a while to comprehend the sentences too.
Moved to Writing
the things those celebrities do is for entertainment purposes. that's why they're called entertainers. people buy cds and movies to entertain themselves, not to use as a coaster or throwing object.
hollywood isn't all about glamorizing sex, drugs and rock&roll, have you not heard of the movie north country?
hollywood isn't all about glamorizing sex, drugs and rock&roll, have you not heard of the movie north country?
It didn't hold my interest enough for me to finish it.
To Someone who read the whole thing,
Was it any good?
To Someone who read the whole thing,
Was it any good?
i guess its true about the 'air'? but everything else.. emm.... hard to follow?
QUOTE(oneandonlytammie @ Nov 26 2005, 10:41 AM)
It didn't hold my interest enough for me to finish it.
To Someone who read the whole thing,
Was it any good?
To Someone who read the whole thing,
Was it any good?
Did you jst ignore the posts before you ? Try reading Yens [Andromeda] for an idea.
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